Current Events > CE, I have some major love trouble.

(+) Yeah! (+)

A friends ex and I have become interested in each other. The ex and I have kept being friends after their breakup. Neither of us wanna hurt my friend/his ex. So staying friends is an option we can try to pursue but there is clear chemistry on a personal level between us. Fucking fuck. Its not every day I find myself being genuinely interested in another guy beyond physical attraction.

Just talk. Most problems are solved by this.

Isn't a bit weird if your friend made out with their ex in front you?

Asking CE for relationship advise is... questionable. That being said

Cemith posted...

Just talk. Most problems are solved by this.

Trumpo posted...

Isn't a bit weird if your friend made out with their ex in front you?

why would it be weird if they werent dating me at the time of said make out?

Talk to both of them (separately).

Tell the ex that you're interested and you think there's something there between you, but you want to get friend's blessing first because you value his friendship and you don't want to hurt him by opening old wounds and whatnot.

Ask the friend if he has any reservations about you dating the ex, but don't ask for details on why they broke up or anything like that. And if he does say it's ok with him, be sure to ask if there's any sort of "accommodations" that could make it easier for him or triggers to avoid. Like maybe talking about how the relationship is going is fine, but he doesn't want the ex coming over to his house. That kind of thing.

Umbreon posted...

Asking CE for relationship advise is... questionable

part of me thinks it helps.

they helped all our problems.

yall are simultaneously giving great advice while insisting all the advice on CE is bad

smh

Hm. I think it'd be wise to check with the love interest first, then one of you checks in with your friend.

Are they on good terms after the break?

Cemith posted...

Just talk. Most problems are solved by this.

I'm a firm believer in this, but I've found that the majority of people who have come into (and then left) my life have disagreed. Probably on me, though.

But, seriously, sit down and have a discussion with both (separately or however everyone would feel most comfortable) and try to make the decision you feel is best.

this is gonna depend greatly on how amicable a breakup it was

Thanks for all the great advice CE.

The love interest and I have talked a bit and both experience similar mixed emotions about our feelings for each other versus our feelings for the friend/ex (not wanting to hurt him).

The breakup was fairly amicable but I know that my friend took it harder.

The love interest chickened out in a hurtful way and now I kinda hate men. Sorry but yeah.

As someone who slept with a friends ex.it isnt worth the trouble. Find someone else.

the love interest should've asked ce how to react to it
welp, now you know from experience

ThePieReborn posted...

I'm a firm believer in this, but I've found that the majority of people who have come into (and then left) my life have disagreed. Probably on me, though.

But, seriously, sit down and have a discussion with both (separately or however everyone would feel most comfortable) and try to make the decision you feel is best.

This post interests me, as someone who never shuts up around friends but can struggle to voice my true thoughts when dating (I've had a few situations where one mistake fucked everything up)

In your experience, do you think it's been the way you've brought up subjects that resulted in negative outcomes? Or what