Current Events > Is it a form of bigotry to refuse to date any and all who are trans?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Princess_Eev posted...

So probably the only time I'm going to respond to this old and tired talking point and some related ones in this topic, before I dip because this is definitely a disappointing topic to see on CE:

No one is pressuring you into dating anyone, certainly not any specific person. But frankly very, very few people on this planet are completely free of any internalized biases or bigotry, and it is important we actually confront those.

People may or may not call you a bigot for claiming "sexual preference" when it comes to excluding black people, white people, trans people, cis people, whatever, from your dating pool - some with more merit than others.

It's up to you as what to do with that information, however, and frankly hiding away and cowering behind a take just as paper-thin as "it's my opinion" does nothing to actually address the issue, further a conversation, or help anyone involved.

Like. It's like when people get told this, they take it as some vile insult and get pissy, instead of using it as a potential opportunity for self-reflection and self-improvement. When it turns out trans people do not fit cleanly into the "man in a dress" stereotypes and instead are just as often smoking fucking hot babes, everyone just ... looks away instead of considering the deeper implications of why they don't want to date someone who looks just as they desire.

It's one of the telling signs of either subscribing to some very nasty stereotypes about that group - doesn't matter if it's trans people or some other group - and not being willing to question or challenge them, preferring to throw them all in a box that paints them in a shitty light. It shows that, on some level, if just subconsciously, they view that group as lesser or as inferior or some other negative thing.

Like, I wonder if anyone's gone up to one of y'all and asked - what do you find so appealing about cis people, that you don't about trans people? (Or if you exclusively date white people, what do you find attractive about them you wouldn't about black people? Etc. etc.) I have a feeling most people would not have anything short of a half-assed answer to these questions that doesn't devolve to "I just don't want to date them."

And sure, I guess you could argue as some already have that you don't have to justify your tastes to anyone. Frankly I feel this is just "it's muh opinion" again, just another half-assed cop-out. It kind of just screams that you can't come up with a reason that isn't sus. Like, fuck, I can perfectly explain why I prefer to date trans people over cis people (although I'm still open to the latter), but y'all can't do the reverse? Come on.

Whatever. Rant over. I'm dipping and letting y'all hash out the remainder of the topic, since obviously I'm not going to be the one to convince anyone to realize they've some preconceptions to examine if I haven't already.

Really good post.
It doesn't use any talking points or common arguments, but instead relies on true insight. You stepped outside yourself to truly understand the concepts. It's pretty much the "realest" and most effective modality to find truth, not just to affirm one is correct.

Who posted?

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Seeing as how I did none of that with my post I wonder how much more reaching you will be doing in the name of victim hood.

blazer4lyfe posted...

Seeing as how I did none of that with my post I wonder how much more reaching you will be doing in the name of victim hood.

Isn't your entire schtick in this topic claiming victimhood?

LonelyStoner posted...

Who posted?

Ecks dee

DrizztLink posted...

Isn't your entire schtick in this topic claiming victimhood?

No. I just answered the OP question. I never claimed to be a victim of anything.

reincarnator07 posted...

However if I take a step back, I don't actually know why we place so much value on the child being of our blood, it feels like it's some lizard brain thinking

If it's something you don't understand, then it makes sense why you wouldn't really be able to see things from the perspective you're referring to. I guess it's something you either "get" or "don't get."

Personally, I get it.

If you are someone who treats trans people with respect, abides by their pronouns, advocates/votes for access to necessary healthcare, but you don't want to date a trans person I don't think that's enough to be labeled a bigot. There's definitely some bias there but I don't see it as malicious.

blazer4lyfe posted...

No. I just answered the OP question. I never claimed to be a victim of anything.

Don't mind him, he already knows all that, he's just a compulsive liar looking to get his kicks.

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Don't mind him, he already knows all that, he's just a compulsive liar looking to get his kicks.

Hey, I can see you're still keeping up your world record at projection. btw you still welching on your account bet that you lost.

02fran posted...

Hey, I can see you're still keeping up your world record at projection. btw you still welching on your account bet that you lost.

Eh, he's bringing the best he can.

Plus it's fun to watch him flail around like this.

is there a way to request a topic be closed

Dungeater posted...

is there a way to request a topic be closed

I'm assuming not. If a topic needs to be closed, it gets closed. Maybe you could make a case in the details by reporting the first post, but otherwise I don't think so.

02fran posted...

Hey, I can see you're still keeping up your world record at projection. btw you still welching on your account bet that you lost.

Where have you been?

You talking about the time you vindicated me by spending an hour and a half going through thousands of my posts over the course of a decade to back up your lies saying I run with chud groups....and you posted shit about how me trolling a Scooby Doo thread by saying Daphne is hotter (she's not, she's a cartoon) was a psychosexual confession to Nazi ideology.

This dude is doing very well.

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Where have you been?

You talking about the time you vindicated me by spending an hour and a half going through thousands of my posts over the course of a decade to back up your lies saying I run with chud groups....and you posted shit about how me trolling a Scooby Doo thread by saying Daphne is hotter (she's not, she's a cartoon) was a psychosexual confession to Nazi ideology.

This dude is doing very well.

Your world record projection is highlighted by how you showcase it in every single post you make lol. You're such a compulsive liar that you've probably actually gaslighted yourself into believing your own lies. You are one of the most unwell users here. You need to close your account both to abide by your bet and your wellness sake.

Gobstoppers12 posted...

I'm assuming not. If a topic needs to be closed, it gets closed. Maybe you could make a case in the details by reporting the first post, but otherwise I don't think so.

Yeah, the best way is gonna be just to report the OP and include details. It doesn't have to be some evil post to be inappropriate for the board. I don't know TC so I can't make a claim on his intention one way or the other.

bsp77 posted...

Okay, I gotta stop posting here. Too much antagonism and bad faith posting.

Thanks to the below for having civil conversations with me, and putting up with anything potentially ignorant I may say:

All good, and sorry if I ever got heated with you in particular. It's nice to have someone who's willing to engage, ask questions, and listen in good faith (especially in a thread like this on a board like this). <3

Pikachuchupika posted...

Does this apply to cis gay people as well? I have a gay friend that says he does not want to date trans people.

Yes. Queer people of all types, even other trans people, can be transphobic.

Honestly I'd say it's worse coming from gay people because of the lack of self-awareness often involved.

If you won't date someone who is transgender because you are not attracted or feel no chemistry with them, then no.
If you discriminate against someone who is transgender, not just in dating, because they are transgender, then yes.

https://www.neuralword.com/en/education-history-science-general-culture-society/society/unmasking-bigotry-exploring-examples-and-consequences

02fran posted...

Your world record projection is highlighted by how you showcase it in every single post you make lol. You're such a compulsive liar that you've probably actually gaslighted yourself into believing your own lies. You are one of the most unwell users here.

Oh wow, great, "I know you are but what am I?", I'm devastated.

Dungeater posted...

is there a way to request a topic be closed

I think you can report the OP and probably leave a note to the effect that the thread either is intended to invite a lot of shitstirring or actually is, but you'd probably have little success

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Oh wow, great, "I know you are but what am I?", I'm devastated.

Projection, gaslighting, and obstructing is what you and your type are best at after all.

NoxObscuras posted...

As I said in response to your other post. There's not a single reason for excluding an entire group, that isn't rooted in bigotry.

Because people aren't a monolith. You can't apply a characteristic to an entire group and have it remain true across the board. You can dislike a specific characteristic, but you can't apply it to a whole group. You can't hide prejudice behind it just being a preference

And Ive already addressed this, frankly terrible, argument.

Plenty of people have an overwhelming choice of partners. To exclude groups based on probability is a perfectly sound thing to do logistically.

While you might be able to imagine a scenario where a trans unicorn of a person exists that would be perfect for somebody, its perfectly fine for them to not go looking for them and to focus on groups where theyre much more likely to find a partner that suits them. Hell, they dont even need to be right in order to not be bigoted.

As I'm sure has been already stated to death, it depends on your motive.
If you refuse to date trans people because you find their body types to be physically unattractive, then no, it's not any more bigoted than finding certain racial and subracial features (e.g. red hair) to be physically unattractive.

However, if your reason for refusing to date trans people is because "it's wrong/fucked up" then yes, it's every bit as bigoted as refusing to date someone of a different ethnicity or subethnic features due to ethnic stereotyping (e.g. blacks are violent, redheads are bad-tempered and predisposed to alcoholism)

02fran posted...

Projection, gaslighting, and obstructing is what you and your type are best at after all.

There it is again, referring to shit that didn't happen. If shockthemonkey can turn things around, you and your alt can too.

Obstructing though? Hoooooly shit

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

There it is again, referring to shit that didn't happen. If shockthemonkey can turn things around, you and your alt can too.

Obstructing though? Hoooooly shit

Continuing to prove me right that you're the record holder on projecting and lying . Alt, says the guy who actually brought out an alt at me before. Everything you post is a perfect description of yourself, as is typical of conservative chuds.

blazer4lyfe posted...

To answer your question yes. If we cannot have children together then I would have to break it off.
Also. Sorry!! Not trying to keep you here.

What if it turns out that your spermies aren't any good, and she'll only be able to conceive via a sperm donor?

However if I take a step back, I don't actually know why we place so much value on the child being of our blood, it feels like it's some lizard brain thinking. A person isn't greater or lesser just because of blood relations.

I don't either. So let me get this straight, you're oozing maternal/paternal instincts and love towards your pets that you dote on, but you just can't get attached to a human child that doesn't share half of your genetic material?

I've never noticed Princess_Eev, but I really like her. Good to see somone actually thinking and seeking understanding, instead of just somone that just knows better. From where I stand, it seems like the people that know everything, understand little. Not enough people in the world like like her.

02fran posted...

Continuing to prove me right that you're the record holder on projecting and lying . Alt, says the guy who actually brought out an alt at me before. Everything you post is a perfect description of yourself, as is typical of conservative chuds.

Yes, lie to strangers about strangers because you struggle to communicate, thanks, bye

How come I got modded for a very similar topic?

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Yes, lie to strangers about strangers because you struggle to communicate, thanks, bye

Yeah, that's you and everybody who's familiar with you knows it. Stop welching and close your account.

GeraldDarko posted...

I've never noticed Princess_Eev, but I really like her. Good to see somone actually thinking and seeking understanding, instead of just somone that just knows better. From where I stand, it seems like the people that know everything, understand little. Not enough people in the world like like her.

<3

02fran posted...

Yeah, that's you and everybody who's familiar with you knows it. Stop welching and close your account.

Stop referring to yourself as a plural like DrizztLink does every other post, it looks bad.

This is the guy that said I was projecting being into cartoons and feet, if you wanted to know a little more about him.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

How come I got modded for a very similar topic?

The topic where you said you instantly swipe left on all Trans individuals? Are you sure you can't figure out why?

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

Stop referring to yourself as a plural like DrizztLink does every other post, it looks bad.

This is the guy that said I was projecting being into cartoons and feet, if you wanted to know a little more about him.

I know you are physically incapable of comprehending it but it is fact that everyone familiar with you knows that you're a compulsive liar and a projector with no self-awareness. Nobody trusts anything you say. You get constantly proven wrong and then you make up excuses and then lie about it afterwards. You lost my account bet because of it and are welching. It's time to close your account.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

it just sucks coming here to see bustling topics furthering stigmas, misconceptions, and fabrications about me and ppl like me

cuz im sure im not the only one

any real discussion itt is long since gone. its now cis ppl talking to each other and shit flinging

Dungeater posted...

it just sucks coming here to see bustling topics furthering stigmas, misconceptions, and fabrications about me and ppl like me

This is really something to consider when you're going to talk about trans people. It's important to understand that they are looking for a place in this world just like everyone else, and when they hear people say their identity is less valid, it probably makes them feel isolated. Feeling isolated is one of the worst feelings in the world. Your words have weight, even on an dying message board.

Princess_Eev posted...

All good, and sorry if I ever got heated with you in particular. It's nice to have someone who's willing to engage, ask questions, and listen in good faith (especially in a thread like this on a board like this). <3

I don't think you ever got heated with me. If you did, I didn't notice. I always worry people will think I'm heated because I'm blunt.

And WTF is now going on in this topic? Just got out of Smile 2 and this topic took a somehow even worse turn.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

How come I got modded for a very similar topic?

You know very well why youre not wanted around.

Dungeater posted...

any real discussion itt is long since gone. its now cis ppl talking to each other and shit flinging

I guess my previous post didn't leave much room for on-topic discussion, so poop-fisted posters started flinging. :/

Gobstoppers12 posted...

If it's something you don't understand, then it makes sense why you wouldn't really be able to see things from the perspective you're referring to. I guess it's something you either "get" or "don't get."

Personally, I get it.

Then please help explain it to me. It's certainly something I used to think, but I don't know why. It was just one of those things that I "knew", like how my country is the greatest country in the world or that adults were always right. It falls apart under scrutiny. The only explanation I have is that it's some biological thing.

If you got with someone who already had a child and came in fully as a step parent, would you love that child less? If not, I don't see that as any different from any child you'd have with a trans person.

reincarnator07 posted...

Then please help explain it to me. It's certainly something I used to think, but I don't know why. It was just one of those things that I "knew", like how my country is the greatest country in the world or that adults were always right. It falls apart under scrutiny. The only explanation I have is that it's some biological thing.

It probably is some biological thing. Humans breed at a slow rate, and human children are pretty much helpless for a long time (compared to other animals). Keeping them alive takes a lot of effort and resources, and the survival of the species needs you to do that.

But being biological, rather than logical, doesn't make it any less real, or any less powerful as a driver of behaviour.

If you got with someone who already had a child and came in fully as a step parent, would you love that child less? If not, I don't see that as any different from any child you'd have with a trans person.

I think this would vary by person. Step/surrogate parents are obviously capable of bonding with, and loving, a child. But some really do crave the biological connection, and however much they try, it just wouldn't be quite the same. It's maybe not rational in the modern world, but we have yet to completely shed the instinctual.

reincarnator07 posted...

Then please help explain it to me. It's certainly something I used to think, but I don't know why. It was just one of those things that I "knew", like how my country is the greatest country in the world or that adults were always right. It falls apart under scrutiny. The only explanation I have is that it's some biological thing.

Yeah, it's biological. I can't explain it.

If you got with someone who already had a child and came in fully as a step parent, would you love that child less? If not, I don't see that as any different from any child you'd have with a trans person.

I think it might be better to use adoptive parents as an example instead of step parents, especially people who adopt a baby. I could see that bond being as strong as biological.

Step parents? I dunno. There is no way that my wife has the same bond with my kids as I do. They were already 5 to 14 years old when she met them, and 8 to 17 years old by the time we married last year.

unequivocally so

Yes, any argument for no so far has just been cap and unintended admission of racism on top of it

Gwynevere posted...

Yes, any argument for no so far has just been cap and unintended admission of racism on top of it

Let me ask you this, is it homophobic for a straight man to not want to date a gay guy?

Plenty of allies to the LGBT community don't want to date them.

As bi male I'm perfectly fine that straight men want no part of me and I have tried with a couple. Well not date but fool around. Sometimes you can get a straight person to do that. Rare but It can happen.

Sufferedphoenix posted...

Let me ask you this, is it homophobic for a straight man to not want to date a gay guy?

https://i.imgur.com/y82NJOB.mp4