Current Events > Do black parents instruct their child about how to deal with police in the USA?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Like they sit them down when they are old enough and tell them exactly what to do in a situation where a police officer confronts them because the officer may become hostile. Is this an actual thing?

It was for my parents. Not just that, but many things when it comes to our race. I was told I would have to work twice as hard to get the same opportunities as others (there is more to that obviously) and I need to be far better than my peers to maintain my position. (A job is a good, simple example)

Yes. Even more so for those of us that live in the south. (I'm in SC).

Matter fact, both my brother and dad faced a situation in which they got handcuffed in the neighborhood we live in.

What happened is that they both were unfortunately at the wrong place at the wrong time. There was a situation in which the cops was looking for 2 black dudes that was selling drugs. They looked at my in his mid 70s dad and mid 40s older bro and thought they fit the description of 2 young black dudes, =/

Anyway, they stayed completely calm. Did not raise their voice, did not try to argue back, they just went through the BS. They was then quickly let go.

Of course they (and my mother when she found out) were pretty damn pissed, but staying calm and getting the shit over with is the best possible move you can do to go about your day.

Also, many people on this forum are in their 30s give or take. The Rodney King situation happened in the early 90s. You best believe many parents told their kids about police when they saw that.

Yep. It's our version of "The Talk".

rofflemypancake posted...

Like they sit them down when they are old enough and tell them exactly what to do in a situation where a police officer confronts them because the officer may become hostile. Is this an actual thing?

Not just black, but most minorities.

They kind of have to.

The man who taught America to love books and read and is like the second or third most wholesome person in the world...

...still had to give The Talk to his kid about cops and still has to fear for his life from routine traffic stops.

https://youtu.be/M-ckDJ3xTaE

Yes, they do. It's quite literally a survival lesson. My mom and dad gave me that talk on separate occasions.

You can't do what those white kids do.

Don't trust the police nor give them a reason to suspect you. If you do get pulled over, just follow their directions slowly and make no sudden moves. ALWAYS KEEP YOUR HANDS VISIBLE.

More things that Black kids are told to be aware of.

Yes, at a young age. Even when I was taught about racism as a kid, I didn't understand it completely even when learning about racism in school. It was in 3rd and 4th grade when I finally understood racism when some of my teachers and the white students treated me like crap for no reason.

There is a reason this was put in a movie 20 years ago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhAZlj1xRLo

Yeah. Just do whatever they tell you to so they have no reason to start the bullshit is pretty much what I was told.

My mom didn't, but she always made comments that heavily implied we could have a harder time with them.

And being raised in Oakland, CA until my teens, it would have been good knowledge to have early on.

No, my parents never talked to me about anything. My dad was a jailbird and had constant run ins with the police, so I learned through observation what NOT to do in those situations because he always made it worse for himself.

rofflemypancake posted...

Like they sit them down when they are old enough and tell them exactly what to do in a situation where a police officer confronts them because the officer may become hostile. Is this an actual thing?

Maybe not all of them, but yes, a lot of them do. Black people need to know the world is out to get them, and they can't afford to be doing stupid stuff that will get them arrested or killed.

Its a very sad thing to have to tell your kids. But if you love them and want the best for them, you have to.

My mom always told me not to trust white people or if she cant use your comb dont bring her home, but never anything about the police.

my dad didn't really say much.

just to always take my ID with me.

edit: tbf, he was from another country, but he definitely experienced police harassment before.

I remember being a teen and one of my black friends was driving when we got pulled over. This dumbass started arguing with the cop and making aggressive movements, so I had to take over the conversation. As the whitest teenager ever, I afterwardly had to give my friend the talk. It was awkward af, but I'd rather that then he someday be murdered by police

Generally No, but frankly its as simple as just learning to keep your cool, speak coherently and in non ghetto slang and being respectful.

Which me and my siblings were all raised to possessed by default. But many others it seems dont have even into adulthood for whatever reason.

If they are responsible black parents, absolutely.

As a black man growing up it was several talks. My mom gave it to me, my step-dad gave it to me, my dad gave it to me, And being part of a black church community, a few times a year youth groups would talk about it.

But the funny thing is, I never took it as odd. As said before it was our version of "the talk" (although we had that too).

But my Freshmen year in college, taking Sociology 101, the professor asked a question like "Do you ever worry about what you would do if you were sent to prison."

And a white guy said "No, because I've never broken the law so I wouldn't go to prison."

IT BLEW MY MIND!!!!

This white kid lived in a completely different world than me, a world where "being innocent" means you can't go to jail.

Anyway, GOOD Black Parents make the conversation about what to do if stopped by the police an ongoing conversation, they drill it into kids heads how serious it is, and they pray it is information their kids never need.

As a white kid, my parents constantly told me the police were there to help, they were my friends, etc.

So I was really confused why my minority friends were getting a very different talk.

My parents had these conversations with me frequently growing up, so definitely yes for me

Funny enough, I had that talk from my mom, who isn't even Black.

Yes i remember having those talks. I've gotten stopped a couple times when I was in my late teens because I matched a description. Kept my cool, let them do there thing and was let go. Even if I did miss the bus I was trying to catch.

I never got those talks

at a certain age you know better

I'm not a person of color but I have multiple friends who are who have given such talks to their children, and probably a few of them received those talks when they were younger

Yes.

Quite a bit of them do, and it's largely brought about by facing discrimination as a child.

Indeed they did.

We even had a church sermon years ago about it. The preacher taught us about keeping our hands on the steering wheel during a stop until we needed to reach for something, and to do that slowly.

Im white and when my kids get older Ill instruct them to never talk to cops. Dont be disrespectful, give your ID if asked but say nothing.

Even the typical stuff like you know why i pulled you over?, never answer.

Yes my Dad did, and he's white.

First time I got pulled over by cops, I was on a bike headed to a friend's house around midnight. Supposedly I, "matched the description" of a guy who was peeking into cars. Mmmhmmm.

Second time I was late to work and accelerated out of the parking lot of the apartment complex. Cop was, apparently, down the road but close enough to see it. Followed me to work and finally turned on his lights. Said he knew I was stealing this car. My car. Mmmmmhmmm.

Third time, I was driving a backroad at night with my white female friend. Came to a 4-way and I motioned for him to go; not thinking anything of it. He waved me to go. Went and he followed behind. She said, "You're about to get pulled over. ****ing pig". Sure 'nuff. Supposedly my driver's side light was off. It was clearly on.

A talk wasn't really necessary. Growing up I just knew. Even as a kid I knew. Thinking back it sucks that racism was so present that it was just something I accepted as a fact of life. Like as a kid I'm thinking "it's no big deal, that's just how it is."

I'm white and my daughter is biracial, and I had that talk with her.

Even white parents should have this talk. Trust me when I say white people constantly make their own interactions with police far worse than they need to be by being combatative and non-cooperative. It doesn't matter what your skin color is, if you refuse police orders or start acting disorderly the police are going to charge you.

It will, of course, be worse for black people/minorities on average though. You cannot afford to give the cops any length of rope to hang your with because you don't know how much of a racist bastard your officer is.

Mad-Dogg posted...

looked at my in his mid 70s dad and mid 40s older bro and thought they fit the description of 2 young black dudes, =/

Cop 1: hey those could be the suspects. Cuff them
Cop 2: what? They don't fit the description other than their skin color
Cop 1: the fuck did you say son

Yes, my mom talked to me about this multiple times.

not sure where i saw this. think it was on John Oliver or something.

but i remember seeing a clip of kids in a classroom learning how to talk to cops. that shit was fucked up for real... smh

Yeah

Even had the talk with my boss (black dude in his 60s) back in 2019 when Trump was giving cops free reign to do whatever and taking their side since we're in the DC area. I still drive around with my government ID and CAC on a lanyard around my neck even though it's a security violation so cops at least hesitate before grabbing their gun. For anybody who thinks that's melodramatic, this happened not too far from me just last year

https://www.fox5dc.com/news/bowie-police-officer-indicted-after-firing-shots-unarmed-man

See Die Hard With A Vengeance

Yes, I know it's a scene in a film but it should count

Not just black parents. I got the talk, though I am the one very pale person in a family of brown Spanish speakers, so my dad was like "you probably don't need to worry too much"

Me and my sister are white as ghosts and our ma always taught us not to trust the police or go along with anything they said.

I'm surprised most white families don't do this as well. At least lower-middle/lower class ones.

At this point, I literally just put both hands out the window. But yeah, I'll wind up having that talk with mine when they grow up. Same way my family did for me

I don't remember mine ever doing so. IIRC I learned it from black youtubers (Aba & Preach), actually.

I do remember we got pulled over once, but the cop was also black and my mom (the driver) was attractive so she just channeled her feminine charm and we were good lol