Current Events > Someone just tore my personality to shreds on reddit from fairly limited info

(+) Yeah! (+)

I actually feel numb it was so brutal. My god its made me thankful for CE tbh

You want CE to go beat dem up bruh?

You went to /r/roastme?

Was it Error? From the reviews of his guides, I gathered he's pretty brutal on reddit

would you share what was said. I want see this brutality

Context would be neato

I feel the need to gain more insight.

It's just anonymous strangers online. Who cares what they think?

NeonPhoenix posted...

It's just anonymous strangers online. Who cares what they think?

That only applies if you think what they're saying is unfounded.

If it sticks with someone it's probably because there's a least a grain of truth to rent space in their head and fester.

Doesn't necessarily mean they're RIGHT but it does mean they struck a chord with something that can't be denied and seen on reflection.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/0/0d9483af.jpg

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/55ebe463.jpg

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/d/d98be1c1.jpg
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/1f506308.jpg

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/a/ab3535c4.jpg

I'm OK Doughnut, the comment that messed me up was Sea Client final comment. There's a 5 image limit for gamefaqs posts otherwise I'd have given full context. It can all be found easily enough

Yes i know I shouldn't be on the ask men reddit page, I've somehow wandered into the dark abyss of reddit

I also know I could likely be in the wrong, or might be coming across a bit nuts right now. I just feel like who I am as a person(an agreeable guy) is not the right thing to be or w/e

Hopefully my final comment illuminated things a bit more for anyone who reads that and instinctively agrees with Sea Client

Not in the best mental state right now

Jiek_Fafn posted...

Was it Error? From the reviews of his guides, I gathered he's pretty brutal on reddit

He gets all his insults from Asmongold I hear!

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


My reaction when a date spends any amount of time talking about The Last Jedi:

https://imgur.com/a/p43GPvg

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Thank you for that very kind explanation. I feel the person on reddit was so unnecessarily brutal and speaking as if every woman on earth holds the same opinion, plus assuming I was dishonest and stuff, eugh.

Me and the girl who was super critical of me were having cocaine fuelled deep conversations about super personal stuff by date 2, more surface level things like our favourite books and movies I'd never feel the need to lie about my opinion of.

Just be true to yourself and fuck the noise.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]



Thanks again. Because my dating sample size was so small(and still is) and because this ex was a mental health nurse, very experienced with dating and very passionate about self improvement discussions, I took all criticism to heart, kind of put myself beneath her knowledge-wise, and didn't think she'd simply say things for the sake of it

But she did have a mental illness, tons of trauma, a drug problem and a brother a few months away from a court date when I met her, so it's possible she was just mad at the world and lashing out and I could have been anyone else and copped similar criticism

I wish my memory wasn't so good because a lot of the criticism is still stuck with me

masterpug53 posted...

My reaction when a date spends any amount of time talking about The Last Jedi:

https://imgur.com/a/p43GPvg

A girl bringing up nuanced discussion around last jedi would secure a second date in my eyes.

my dude you are getting upset about reddit

literally we have all been there.

reddit is shit. don't use it. ffs just, like, don't.

people are just there to cut other people to ribbons

the person that made that reddit thread in the first place declared herself ambassador of women.

they are a narcissist. they wanted the entire world to look on them as the One True representative of half the planet

you didnt just walk up they saw you coming in off the street, the topic was a trap to do exactly what was done

you lost today, but that doesn't mean you have to like it.

but you don't need to be upset.

Robot2600 posted...

the person that made that reddit thread in the first place declared herself ambassador of women.

they are a narcissist. they wanted the entire world to look on them as the One True representative of half the planet

Most on reddit are. Check how many comments start with "as a ______" as if that's supposed to make your argument good

Honestly, that appraisal didn't seem brutal at all. He was blunt, but it didn't seem like it was intended to be mean spirited.

He was just taking the info you gave and sharing how he felt about it. Don't take it to mean that you are doing everything he's describing, or even that he's speaking for all women. Just that he understands why some women feel that way

Robot2600 posted...

they wanted the entire world to look on them as the One True representative of half the planet

You people never give me the sort of attention I want.

that's supposed to be a guy a making that topic?

idk it seems weird to me. "hello fellow manly men, what about women annoys or confuses you?"

i guess it doesn't really matter.

*thinks for a bit*

okay, i get that he's trying to come off as reasonable on reddit or something and that's why the entire topic feels strange.

anyway the answer is the woman from your life is nuts and you should avoid her. why'd she have to sit you down and be all dramatic about it? if she were good at communicating couldn't she have just said something earlier if it was bugging her?

you're also not wrong: too agreeable? wtf is that. that's fucking nonsense. you even agreed that itd be fine to disagree. so the problem is what? youre too reasonable? u see this makes no sense, yes?

Q: what'd she want? wtf was u supposed to say?
A: she wanted power and control. you were supposed to beg. or something. who cares.

fuck the reddit guy's advice, im done talking about him.

now, everyone likes someone with an "edge" to them, sure. but you were literally already on a cocaine bender with this woman i don't think you need to make it much edgier than that.

do whatever you want; that person's trouble. i seen enough trouble to know trouble.

Robot2600 posted...

that's supposed to be a guy a making that topic?

idk it seems weird to me. "hello fellow manly men, what about women annoys or confuses you?"

i guess it doesn't really matter.

*thinks for a bit*

okay, i get that he's trying to come off as reasonable on reddit or something and that's why the entire topic feels strange.

anyway the answer is the woman from your life is nuts and you should avoid her. why'd she have to sit you down and be all dramatic about it? if she were good at communicating couldn't she have just said something earlier if it was bugging her?

you're also not wrong: too agreeable? wtf is that. that's fucking nonsense. you even agreed that itd be fine to disagree. so the problem is what? youre too reasonable? u see this makes no sense, yes?

Q: what'd she want? wtf was u supposed to say?
A: she wanted power and control. you were supposed to beg. or something. who cares.

fuck the reddit guy's advice, im done talking about him.

now, everyone likes someone with an "edge" to them, sure. but you were literally already on a cocaine bender with this woman i don't think you need to make it much edgier than that.

do whatever you want; that person's trouble. i seen enough trouble to know trouble.

Thank you! That improved my mood a fair bit.

Just to clarify, both the thread creator and the person who started criticising me in the comments was a woman(I checked her profile) it's called ask men but there's plenty of women on there chiming in, its not a safe space or echo chamber or anything like that

Regardless, thanks. I don't even know how I'd go about changing my personality at this point in my 30s anyway

There's always going to be morons that will judge you and think they know you based on small snippets of what they see on some online community. Just ignore them or block them, life is too short for such people.

is my radar good or what xD <3

https://youtu.be/8U0U75HdOP4?si=sFU7wi40l095bTdy

NoxObscuras posted...

Honestly, that appraisal didn't seem brutal at all. He was blunt, but it didn't seem like it was intended to be mean spirited.

He was just taking the info you gave and sharing how he felt about it. Don't take it to mean that you are doing everything he's describing, or even that he's speaking for all women. Just that he understands why some women feel that way

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/7f72f127.jpg

There's a bit more leading up to to the final comment, I only posted the final comment since there was a 5 image limit on posts and I was too tired to make multiple posts last night.

I didn't like the idea that she assumed I was lying, or that being a people pleaser is some inherently bad thing. Not that I consider myself completely one, but because I work in the health field I do a lot of holding my tongue and putting up with abuse and "serving" others and maybe it's shaped my personality a bit

I also hate that people call so many things red flags without considering all the potential context behind something

"it's fine if you genuinely agree on everything but if it's everything then it's concerning"
-Sea_Client9991 (paraphrased by Robot)

haloiscoolisbak posted...

There's a bit more leading up to to the final comment, I only posted the final comment since there was a 5 image limit on posts and I was too tired to make multiple posts last night.

I didn't like the idea that she assumed I was lying, or that being a people pleaser is some inherently bad thing. Not that I consider myself completely one, but because I work in the health field I do a lot of holding my tongue and putting up with abuse and "serving" others and maybe it's shaped my personality a bit

But this is what I mean. Just because she said that, doesn't make it true about you.

Generally speaking a lot of women do find it questionable if you agree with her on everything. Not because you specifically are lying, but because there are a lot of sleazy guys out there that will lie and just tell women what they believe women want to hear. Then they'll ghost after they get what they want (sex) from those women. So they're trying to avoid the sleazy guys and looking for signs.

So if you genuinely agree with everything your date says, then awesome you're probably super compatible. Just be aware that it is something that women tend to be wary of(not all women, mind you).

I also hate that people call so many things red flags without considering all the context behind something

That's an issue with social media. I feel like, besides the people that are always online, most other people don't just constantly look for "red flags" like that. They'll notice things on dates that are off-putting, but it's not as extreme as online.

NoxObscuras posted...

But this is what I mean. Just because she said that, doesn't make it true about you.

Generally speaking a lot of women do find it questionable if you agree with her on everything. Not because you specifically are lying, but because there are a lot of sleazy guys out there that will lie and just tell women what they believe women want to hear. Then they'll ghost after they get what they want (sex) from those women. So they're trying to avoid the sleazy guys and looking for signs.

So if you genuinely agree with everything your date says, then awesome you're probably super compatible. Just be aware that it is something that women tend to be wary of(not all women, mind you).

That's an issue with social media. I feel like, besides the people that are always online, most other people don't just constantly look for "red flags" like that. They'll notice things on dates that are off-putting, but it's not as extreme as online.

Thank you for this post. Needed to hear it!

Honestly why are you coming to CE looking for a pick-me-up after getting savaged elsewhere?

Or is my experience of that backfiring not ubiquitous...?

Solid_Sonic posted...

Honestly why are you coming to CE looking for a pick-me-up after getting savaged elsewhere?

Or is my experience of that backfiring not ubiquitous...?

I've found some people here are quite level headed compared to reddit, and may have extra empathy due to being frequently online people like myself

I was actually sitting in my living room last night really quiet after the reddit interaction, and my housemate could tell something was up, but I know he'd have just said "completely ignore anything you see online" or whatever, probably a bit more of an... unnuanced take, he barely even uses FB or instagram(which I respect him for actually)

But yeah, tldr version, I was just hoping somebody would understand, cheer me up and several people have

Solid_Sonic posted...

Honestly why are you coming to CE looking for a pick-me-up after getting savaged elsewhere?

Or is my experience of that backfiring not ubiquitous...?

I cannot imaging actually getting emotionally upset over a username on a computer screen saying something about you especially if they dint know anything about you. Theres too much going on in life for that to be something that has that much of an effect

To shreds you say?

It's ok for you to not be an argumentative person.

Just be truthful and mention how you don't want to sweat the small stuff. Maybe she does want you to speak up more about those things, maybe not (a lot of us don't know what we really want), up to both of you to agree.

Also, the person on reddit wasn't really being harsh. As you said, they're just drawing their own conclusions based on limited info, so take it with a grain of salt.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


In response to you insulting me. I'll admit my opinion of CE can waiver, but there must be some truth to my explanation right? Otherwise I wouldn't have made this topic

What are you trying to do right now? I've stated my mental health is pretty shakey

Sansoldier posted...

It's ok for you to not be an argumentative person.

Just be truthful and mention how you don't want to sweat the small stuff. Maybe she does want you to speak up more about those things, maybe not (a lot of us don't know what we really want), up to both of you to agree.

Also, the person on reddit wasn't really being harsh. As you said, they're just drawing their own conclusions based on limited info, so take it with a grain of salt.

"You're not being cool or laid back or whatever you think you are being you're being apathetic"

To me, that is super harsh. I also don't view myself as apathetic. It came across, to me, with intent to hurt, and it did

Toonstrack posted...

I cannot imaging actually getting emotionally upset over a username on a computer screen saying something about you especially if they dint know anything about you. Theres too much going on in life for that to be something that has that much of an effect

Maybe it was the straw that broke the camels back for me, I've dealt with a lot of online snarkiness over my years online, it's worn me down a bit.

I actually wish I was less sensitive, and had your view on this matter.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Could also be most dudes just want to present the most likeable version of themselves because they feel easily rejected and disposable.

SwayM posted...

Could also be most dudes just want to present the most likeable version of themselves because they feel easily rejected and disposable.

That's exactly what she said but you shifted the words around to make deception sound noble.

SwayM posted...

Could also be most dudes just want to present the most likeable version of themselves because they feel easily rejected and disposable.

Also, the girl I dated before this one was an ESL Iranian women who basically wanted me to be subservient and I was constantly accidentally offending her due to language miscommunications, she made me feel I needed to walk on egg shells. I over corrected next time

DrizztLink posted...

That's exactly what she said but you shifted the words around to make deception sound noble.

The deception ?

No, youre presenting this as theres only one way to look at it.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Also, the girl I dated before this one was an ESL Iranian women who basically wanted me to be subservient and I was constantly accidentally offending her due to language miscommunications, she made me feel I needed to walk on egg shells. I over corrected next time

Being made to feel like you can never do or say anything right is never a great feeling.

DrizztLink posted...

That's exactly what she said but you shifted the words around to make deception sound noble.

I think there are guys who do what Sway is describing, but not to just "sleep with" someone. They are doing it because they want love and a relationship. In that case, I dunno if deception is the right word

Edit- and this not me saying i think he's right and you're wrong, I think there are several different reasons why guys might be cautious of being too honest(or maybe too open is a better word) initially

I spent most of my early 20s being the guy who said the first thing that came to his head, and while it made me the beloved clown of my male friendship group, I got absolutely nowhere with dating til I learnt to be a bit more tactful

NeonPhoenix posted...

It's just anonymous strangers online. Who cares what they think?

True but a CE invasion of reddit might be fun.