Current Events > Russell Brand Invited To Florida College To Teach Sexual Assault Workshop

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://theonion.com/russell-brand-invited-to-florida-college-to-teach-sexual-assault-workshop/

SARASOTA, FLAs part of an effort to expose the student body to a variety of cultural perspectives, the New College of Florida announced Thursday that it had invited English comedian and podcaster Russell Brand to teach a sexual assault workshop. Mr. Brand has an incredible range of experience he can share with both students and the local community alike, said New College of Florida president Richard Corcoran, adding that the school would be conferring an honorary degree upon the British actor, whom he lauded as a leading scholar in the field of nonconsensual studies. Hes a freethinker and a free-doer. Gifted young sex pests who would like to attend Touching Without Permission can register now. Mr. Brand has promised there will be plenty of hands-on experience. At press time, reports confirmed the college had been forced to postpone the workshop after new charges were filed against Brand in the state of Florida.

6 days later, actual headline:
https://www.wfla.com/news/local-news/manatee-county/former-new-college-official-accused-of-exposing-himself-to-mall-employees/

SARASOTA, Fla. (WFLA) A New College of Florida official and former spokesperson for Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis was arrested Tuesday and charged with exposure of sexual organs.
Fredrick Piccolo, Jr., 47, was arrested by the Manatee County Sheriffs Office on a warrant, according to jail records.
The warrant for Piccolos arrest alleged he exposed himself to a woman after stopping his car and asking for directions. He was charged with exposure of sexual organs (subsequent offense).
Piccolo was also accused of exposing himself to multiple people at department stores in the University Town Center Mall in Sarasota between Aug. 22 and Sept. 4 of last year, court records show.
On Aug. 22, he was alleged to have touched himself inappropriately in front of a Banana Republic employee at the fitting rooms. Sarasota County deputies described the incident as an unwelcomed act.
He was accused of exposing his genitals to two Dillards sales associates, also outside of a fitting room, on Sept. 3. The next day, the sheriffs office said he returned to the store and exposed himself to an employee, again at the fitting rooms.

We're living in a parody of the world.

I didn't know Piccolo had genitals.

DeSlapples is going to see this and come to the conclusion that these laws are too strict.

A "How to" class?

In 2023, the state government of Florida overhauled its board of trustees in an attempt to transform the honors college into a conservative institution modeled on Hillsdale College.[10][11] Afterward, nearly 40% of the faculty resigned.[12] There are currently 94 faculty members with student-faculty ratio of 8:1.

Quick wikipedia search.

Southernfatman posted...

A "How to" class?

Came in to make this joke

We really are in the stupidest timeline if Florida is really trying to "both sides" sexual assault.

Just to be clear, the first headline is The Onion. Though, New College of Florida really did invite Russel Brand to speak against the wishes of faculty and students.

To teach men how to commit sexual assault?

Oh that actually IS an Onion article. You never know these days

Who else but Dick Corc?

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/27a093c7.jpg

ChocoboMogALT posted...

Just to be clear, the first headline is The Onion. Though, New College of Florida really did invite Russel Brand to speak against the wishes of faculty and students.

My bad. I'm running on no sleep and no food today. I see that now.

PeteyParker posted...

My bad. I'm running on no sleep and no food today. I see that now.

It took me a while, too, when I first saw it. Completely believable.

ChocoboMogALT posted...

It took me a while, too, when I first saw it. Completely believable.

100%

ChocoboMogALT posted...

Just to be clear, the first headline is The Onion. Though, New College of Florida really did invite Russel Brand to speak against the wishes of faculty and students.

You know whats bad? I actually looked at the links and it didn't click in my mind. I saw Florida and completely believed it. Even looked at the wiki page for the college and saw stuff that made it even more believable.

creativerealms posted...

To teach men how to commit sexual assault?

Hey, women also commit sexual assaults, let's not discriminate here.

ChocoboMogALT posted...

It took me a while, too, when I first saw it. Completely believable.

I didn't realize it was The Onion until the "sex pest" part >_>

I see Onion posts on my YouTube feed from time to time. It doesn't seem much like satire anymore these days.

Southernfatman posted...

A "How to" class?

Like Raffi's self-defense classes in The League

Maybe Donald Trump will teach us a class too.

He had a whole University.

Is this correct?

Ron DeSantis was arrested Tuesday and charged with exposure of sexual organs.

The onion really is less strange than reality.

ViewtifulGrave posted...

Is this correct?

I wish

Does Russell Brand have sexual assault allegations?

LonelyStoner posted...

Does Russell Brand have sexual assault allegations?

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c0457d02e9go

Russell Brand has been charged with rape, indecent assault and sexual assault between 1999 and 2005. The charges relate to four separate women.
The comedian and actor has been interviewed multiple times by police since an investigation by the Sunday Times, the Times and Channel 4's Dispatches in September 2023 revealed multiple serious allegations against him.

The 49-year-old has previously denied the allegations, calling them "very, very hurtful". The Metropolitan Police said it is alleged that:

• In 1999 a woman was raped in the Bournemouth area.
• In 2001 a woman was indecently assaulted in the Westminster area of London.
• In 2004 a woman was orally raped and sexually assaulted in the Westminster area of London.
• Between 2004 and 2005, a woman was sexually assaulted in the Westminster area of London.

Brand has been told to appear at Westminster Magistrates' Court on 2 May, but he is believed to be in the United States.

I actually went to New College of Florida 12 years ago. AMA

CW_McGraw posted...

I actually went to New College of Florida 12 years ago. AMA

Seriously? I went there as a freshman over 15 years ago. We might have overlapped. There's another alumni on CE, too.

ChocoboMogALT posted...

Seriously? I went there as a freshman over 15 years ago. We might have overlapped. There's another alumni on CE, too.

This is legit wild. I started there in 2009 and finished my thesis on time in 2013. If you ever wanna read a shitty hundred page book written by a 22 year old about the "Sonderweg" theory of German history and its applications to Imperial Japan, drive down to sunny Sarasota and visit the old New College library. I assume that when the fascists burned the gender studies theses, my borderline apologism for the Second Reich wouldn't have been a target.