Current Events > Do you have any toxic dating habits?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Ones you have broken, try to break or just have embraced?

I can really fall for a guy who is sweet but also damaged so he should probably be seeing a psychiatrist or be in rehab instead of dating me. But I tell myself that I can fix him.

Yes.

Don't check my trunk, my basement, or my crawlspace.

I spend so much time charging head-first at red flags that everyone I hook up with gets a letter from the bullfighter's union.

My serial monogamist tendencies coupled with grass-is-always-greener tendencies was a bad combination. Luckily that is behind me now that I am married again.

I got married at 21 - does that count?

I didnt have much time to develop any dating habits, toxic or otherwise.

not that I'm aware of. not needy, not clingy, not insecure, non judgmental/ooen-minded

i have issues in general but as far as dating goes i think I'm pretty leveled and mature

44 and never been on a date in my life. If I did date, I'd be extremely picky about who I'd want to date. I will not date anyone just because they liked me or were attracted to me. I want someone that matches my personality, likes, hobbies, experience, etc. I'd just be too picky. So I don't bother.

BalanceLost posted...

a guy who is sweet but also damaged so he should probably be seeing a psychiatrist

Of course I know him. He's me.

TuxedoCyan posted...

want someone that matches my personality, likes, hobbies, experience, etc

You seem to know this, but that stuff isn't that important. Values, communication and chemistry are important, and enough similar hobbies to do some things together. That's enough.

TuxedoCyan posted...

44 and never been on a date in my life. If I did date, I'd be extremely picky about who I'd want to date. I will not date anyone just because they liked me or were attracted to me. I want someone that matches my personality, likes, hobbies, experience, etc. I'd just be too picky. So I don't bother.

so that's the excuse you give, huh? Mine is that nobody would love me for very long once they find out how horrible of a person I am.

Didn't really have a chance to do this in the first place. Long term relationships only.

I was real into daddy issues for a bit, but that was high school, and I learned from the fallout to not pursuit that again.

Nope

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I'm selfish with my free time too and like doing things at a set time. At the very least, I prioritize my workouts and wouldn't miss them for a date. But I also like alone time at home after work.

Besides that, not great at time management. Things were really chaotic with me and my ex last year, along with work and just issues at home. She wanted to talk and see me often, and I wanted some space sometimes. i did change a lot from the beginning (got more open minded), but juggling everything was stressful.

I would . . . hedge my bets, shall we say.

Sometimes I tell people what I think they want to hear instead of how I really feel.

I don't really know, haven't dated enough in my life. I'm going to lean on a hard probably, I've been pretty bad at reading more subtle hints in the past on top of falling into limerence a little too easily.

I currently identify as nonamorous because of that and other reasons.

Keeping score and being vindictive I guess. If dude takes a day to reply to my text, you know he's gonna wait another day to hear from me. Cancel last minute on me and you're getting one word responses for a while.

But also I haven't tried dating in a few years. Flaking and ghosting get old.

Dissident_77 posted...

My serial monogamist tendencies coupled with grass-is-always-greener tendencies was a bad combination. Luckily that is behind me now that I am married again.

Pretty much this. It fucked me up in my twenties.

does "i don't really date" count?

ROBBAN posted...

does "i don't really date" count?

Same.

If we're not doing an activity together or banging, let's do out own thing. Don't need to be around each other all day if we ain't doing anything

WizardPowers posted...

If we're not doing an activity together or banging, let's do out own thing. Don't need to be around each other all day if we ain't doing anything

You dont enjoy chilling on the couch with a loved one watching tv, eating food and shooting the shit? That's love

DrizztLink posted...

I spend so much time charging head-first at red flags that everyone I hook up with gets a letter from the bullfighter's union.

Pretty much this for me. I had a person openly insulting me in our chat before we met (she called me a pussy a few times before we met) but I just told myself that's just a different sense of humour to mine, not the end of the world we can make it work and lo and behold there was real-life unpleasantness too

Both relationships I've gotten into were HEAVILY influenced by the fact that I was in a position to help the other person a lot. We got along very well on a personal level and stuff too ofc, but this is not a healthy basis for a relationship. I don't think this is like a power/control thing, but I have a very strong compulsion to feel useful to others due to my own self-worth issues.

It starts out well, but in both circumstances, this has lead to me completely exhausting my own resources trying to help, when their problems are just far, far more than I can realistically handle :/ Maybe one day I can be in a relationship with a more equal dynamic, but for the foreseeable future I really just want friends

I ignore things that concern me

haloiscoolisbak posted...

You dont enjoy chilling on the couch with a loved one watching tv, eating food and shooting the shit? That's love

Watching a show together would count as an activity imo

Guessing this is a parody topic.

I really cant tell anymore in this day and age.

if I went on dates I probably would

asdf8562 posted...

Guessing this is a parody topic.

I really cant tell anymore in this day and age.

Why would it be a parody topic?

BalanceLost posted...

Why would it be a parody topic?

Theres plenty reason given some of the tension at each genders toxic behaviors in dating.

That said, if this genuinely not a parody, and truly just a topic to admit ones own toxic habits, pay me no nevermind.

asdf8562 posted...

That said, if this genuinely not a parody, and truly just a topic to admit ones own toxic habits, pay me no nevermind.

This is my original intent at least :)

asdf8562 posted...

That said, if this genuinely not a parody, and truly just a topic to admit ones own toxic habits, pay me no nevermind.

Many of us have. Myself included. Did you read the responses?