Current Events > Friend is in a cult

(+) Yeah! (+)

Filipina friend is in a cult.

Apparently they cant celebrate birthdays or holidays.

Of course they are very strict and controlling, but the worst part is the abuse.

She is in an abusive relationship, but wont get authorities involved, lawyers, or even leave him, because it would mean she would be hurting him. He wrecked her car, is living in her apartment while she lives in a car, and doesnt work, so she pays for it all. She wont kick him out, because her church doesnt allow to let them fight back against anything.

it sounds like a way to excuse abuse. And she has told me that her uncles abused her as kids,

Her boyfriend apparently got caught watching CP ai porn, and she defends it. She got angry at me today because i brought up why God would want innocent people to be abused, and the church taught her that it is Gods good old fashioned Mysterious Ways.

I cant help her. It feels like Ive lost one of my oldest friends to a pedophile and an abusive church.

On one hand, you might be one of the few ways she has out. On the other, you owe no one the anguish of watching them suffer hopelessly and refusing help.

Evening_Dragon posted...

On one hand, you might be one of the few ways she has out. On the other, you owe no one the anguish of watching them suffer hopelessly and refusing help.

Doesnt listen. Got angry because i didnt understand the bible, since i didnt take her churchs lessons. Its impossible for me to be considered intelligent by her

im so sorry this has happened to you

if she wont accept you reaching out to help and you cant get her help in any way

sadly for your own mental health you may have to just cut her out of your life

i recommend making one last serious effort to reach out to her tell her that if she dont leave this abusive relationship she is in your done

it will be hard it will hurt and it probably wont work but its really all you can do at this point

At first I thought, "so she's a Trumper?"

But in all seriousness, that really sucks. The only way out is when she's had enough of the cults bullshit, and decides to leave.

I'm sorry.

_____Cait posted...

Apparently they cant celebrate birthdays or holidays.

It isn't Jehovas Witnesses is it? Cause I think they don't do holidays or birthdays

Zikten posted...

It isn't Jehovas Witnesses is it? Cause I think they don't do holidays or birthdays

Came to say this. Sounds like a Jehova's Witness.

_____Cait posted...

it sounds like a way to excuse abuse. And she has told me that her uncles abused her as kids,

This is, sadly, how the cycle of abuse works.

I am guessing she probably internalized, from a very young age, that her value as a person is tied to her ability to satisfy the demands of domineering, usually-older men. Predators know how to seek out people like that and to manipulate them into doing whatever they want. It is 1000% abuse, but it is also a colossally difficult cycle to break free from, because your brain got hardwired early to accept that sort of treatment and rewiring requires a massive shift in personal perspective.

Continue to be available to her, particularly if she does see the light and decide she needs to get out... but you are probably correct when you say you "can't help her", because you cannot help people who do not wish to be helped.

Unfortunately the only person that can truly get her out is her, and thats only if she honestly wants it.

all you can do is be there for her, hopefully sway her in subtle ways (cause people like that will rabbit if they think the pressures on too much), and be there to pick up the pieces.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/3d1eee46.jpg

Iglesia ni Cristo?

621 posted...

Iglesia ni Cristo?

Yes, this one!

_____Cait posted...

Yes, this one!

for the americans in the topic, they're essentially the philippine equivalent of those megachurches where everyone has to obey this one pastor.

621 posted...

for the americans in the topic, they're essentially the philippine equivalent of those megachurches where everyone has to obey this one pastor.

They read some weirdo version of the Bible which has been infantilized to clearly make people who arent fluent in English feel good about themselves.

And she has said, she isnt allowed to call the police or have any form of punishment places on abusers. This is really frightening.

I was brought up in a similar church when I was younger, but I got out, it is striking how similar their tactics are.

We have a gay mutual friend, and she said God chose Trump as president, because she was going to make LGBTQ a big deal. When I asked if God was ok with all the other stuff in the Trump administration, she blew up.

Apparently we have to follow the law of God. God chooses the government. When I asked why God made governments that oppose eachother, I got thrown the Mysterious Ways line. When I mentioned that we must follow the law, and be punished for crimes, well. It doesnt count then I guess. God will take care of that in Gods time.

It feels hopeless. Pedo freak gets a free pass because God said so.

It's impossible to reason someone out of a position that they didn't use reason to arrive at in the first place.