I'm sure they exist but men who are feminist are more likely to want parity in terms of expectations between the man and woman. Might be on her to do some introspection and figure out why she's insistent on a provider rather than a partner and equal.You can come across as a provider but yet be a partner and equal. I know so many liberal women who want exactly what she is saying, including my fiance. It is not subservience.
Sure. I'm just responding to what this woman said in this video. If you don't want to play the childbearing and homemaker role (which is more than understandable), then it also begs the question why the man should always have to pay on the first date or be the one to hold the door open, or be the only one providing most of the financial support in the relationship.Did she say providing the financial support? I always pay on a first date and try to hold the door when possible, but once in a relationship, split finances. I think she just wants some chivalry.
It's worth considering rethinking these expectations. No one wants to be the one in the relationship doing almost all of the heavy lifting except a doormat, regardless of gender.
I too would like someone who is a nice guy to weigh on me hand and foot while I get to stay at home.She never said that.
She never said that.
You guys can't even focus on the actual topic and are making up extreme scenarios.
the man paying for the engagement ring, for exampleI did. But her parents are paying for a chunk of the wedding and she is actually paying wherever we go over budget. She has a lot in savings thankfully. It is okay to have some traditional roles if everyone agrees to it. I still consider myself a male feminist, but I am also fairly assertive, which the majority of women, conservative or liberal, appreciate.
She said she wants someone who will allow her to stay at home and not get a job or contribute and be a house wife.No, she fucking didn't. I just listened again to make sure I missed nothing. She said pays "on a first date" (not always), hold the door and have a provider mentality. She only said she didn't want to be stuck into traditional home and child roles.
No, she fucking didn't. I just listened again to make sure I missed nothing. She said pays "on a first date" (not always), hold the door and have a provider mentality. She only said she didn't want to be stuck into traditional home and child roles.
You guys are making things up, so you can be angry about women again. I know that is a favorite activity here.
You are correct about what she said but what I think is implied in the vague "provider mentality" role is at least some double standard of the man paying for more than the woman and taking traditional gender roles as a man. Some will naturally take liberties with their interpretations but if I'm gonna take her seriously I gotta at least squint at that part.
She said she wants someone who will allow her to stay at home and not get a job or contribute and be a house wife.
Honestly I just don't have a lot of sympathy here. I'm not even someone looking for guys on dating apps and I know guys in my own small circle of friends who are masculine while not being conservative (either liberal or apolitical). It's not that hard to find someone who meets those standards, figure it out.I do agree. I know plenty.
You are correct about what she said but what I think is implied in the vague "provider mentality" role is at least some double standard of the man paying for more than the woman and taking traditional gender roles as a man. Some will naturally take liberties with their interpretations but if I'm gonna take her seriously I gotta at least squint at that part.I get that assumption. I only state what I did because I have experience with multiple women who want what she is saying, and they do 100% split finances.
It makes it more frustrating that she still wants dudes to pay for stuff despite having her own money lol. A lot of the conservative guys willing to be full providers would prefer their wife stay home with the kids in exchange, but she wants to work on top of the guy providing extra for her.More assumptions. The only money thing she said was "first date". Now you could be right about what she ultimately wants, but you are assuming. My experience knows it doesn't have to mean that.
Random advice to men about women related to this. On a first date, assuming you asked her out, always reach for the check. More often then not, she will offer to split. When she does I say, "I asked you out, so I am happy to pay". They almost always then say okay (I think only once did someone insist on splitting and there was no chemistry or second date anyway). Oftentimes, they even say "I'll get the next one", which is great. Whether they said that or not, almost every woman I have been a second date with picked up the check.
tldr: always try to pay on the first date
What if they asked you out?Good question. I have never had it happen. I have had a couple women pursue me, but then we hooked up without a proper first date, so idk...
It was more I was curious where you stood personally on the issue. And whether you think the guy should offer to pay first time regardless.Honestly, I would pay. But I don't want to make a rule about it.
On one hand, yeah it really does sound like a classic case of "having a cake and eating it" which is the sole reason I don't sympathize. But on the other hand, believe it or not, it's something that a lot of left/liberal leaning women want. I talk to plenty of them it was one of the reasons I was able to get dates quite often in my college years because of it. Women, on average, want Masculine traits in men like taking charge, providing and caring for them and their loved ones, etc. Want they don't want are the negatives of Masculinity that normally conform to typical gender roles. We do have a word for it, but many guys dislike it, toxic masculinity. I get shit for this every time I bring it up on a different forum, but there is a lot of truths to it.Spot on.
Thing about paying full is that some guys often don't get second dates anyway and end up having these complaints:Keep it cheap then. Single drink and a walk around a lake. If going well and goes to another location that same day/night, she will hopefully offer to pay there. I have had that happen a couple times. Unplanned, multiple location first dates are the absolute best.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/comments/kf5yuc/im_sick_of_feeling_used_by_my_dates_as_a_free_meal/
If you make above average money it doesn't matter, but guys of modest means really don't want to end up like that.
She left out the classic only if hes hot though! Tee hee!
If a me-lookin dude tried that on her, I can only imagine the look of horror on her face lmao.
totalnerdken posted... I don't see an issue with it. She didn't insult men who don't want that role. She just said what she desires.The issue is she's selfish and a hypocrite.
Sure. I'm just responding to what this woman said in this video. If you don't want to play the childbearing and homemaker role (which is more than understandable), then it also begs the question why the man should always have to pay on the first date or be the one to hold the door open, or be the only one providing most of the financial support in the relationship.Well said.
It's worth considering rethinking these expectations. No one wants to be the one in the relationship doing almost all of the heavy lifting except a doormat, regardless of gender.
Anyone complaining about splitting the bill can't be taken seriouslyAgreed.
Random advice to men about women related to this. On a first date, assuming you asked her out, always reach for the check. More often then not, she will offer to split. When she does I say, "I asked you out, so I am happy to pay". They almost always then say okay (I think only once did someone insist on splitting and there was no chemistry or second date anyway). Oftentimes, they even say "I'll get the next one", which is great. Whether they said that or not, almost every woman I have been a second date with picked up the check.
tldr: always try to pay on the first date
Whats she saying? I dont want to watch a video.