Lurker > baubeta

First to 2 wins.

--
Love, Bobeta

Also Mario 3D World and Kid Icarus.

I bought it mostly for work (I'll be reviewing Shonen games for the website).

It's all sitting in a bag in front of me. What do?

A) Open the box/games and look at stuff
B) Give more background on the situation
C) Play Diablo 3
D) Turn the system on and start press things.

--
Love, Bobeta

The big guys worry me. But I'm pretty sure in the first couple minutes I would let one walk onto my arm nice and slow. Then I would feel better.

Not saying I'd expect to sleep or anything, just that it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

--
Love, Bobeta

StealThisSheen posted...

TVontheRadio posted...

as long as none of them are deadly, yeah sure no problem

well, at the very least i need some water and a bit of food so i don't collapse out of dehydration and starvation

Pretty sure you won't collapse out of dehydration and starvation in 24 hours.

Lol, you can survive just fine for 24 hrs sitting in a room, dude. It's not like you'de be stuck in the middle of the desert.

--
Love, Bobeta

Can you promise they don't bite or scratch and won't hurt me at all?

Sure thing. I'd do it for free. I like spiders. I'd just play with them.

--
Love, Bobeta

To be fair, Risk could be a GREAT movie in the right hands, and Candy Land will probably just be some kids movie (the board game DOES have characters in it. I even remember playing a Candyland PC game when I was a kid,)

--
Love, Bobeta

foolm0ron posted...

That's like 220 $5 sony earbuds

The 8-10 dollar blue Sony buds are GREAT! Never fall out and good sound quality.

--
Love, Bobeta

1. The things you can do everyday

Buy Pokeball X3

Train Charmeleon, catch pokemon

2. Talent show! A local lodge is hosting a talent show with prizes to the best entrants. All of your fans are going to be there! What talent do you want to perform?

C. Play Guitar


3. Travelling merchant auction!
The travelling merchant is back with some goods! You can place a bid on any and all items and the person with the highest bid at the time of the update wins! You may bid as many times as you like. Bids are due exactly 72 hours from the time of this post at that point whoever has the highest bid should delete their post and remake it indicating they won the auction and the purchase price.

The Goods:

A. A new item that pulses energy!
B. An old item that has been in hot demand!
C. A new item that looks rather ordinary!
D. A new item that seems like it would break the 4th wall!

I'll look more at this, but probs not.


4. The Pokemon Institute of technology is offering to sell you the badges you were unable to previously get at the last 3 gyms! They cost &3000 each and can be paid in installments of &500 for the next 6 days (starting tomorrow) You may run into a little trouble if you don’t have the money at the time though…

Buy?


B. No

5. On your way into Vermillion City you meet the badly burned Albanian boy from the day before! He is badly disfigured and is a target of racism. He needs a Paralyze heal and a Burn heal to get better

Help the Boy?

B. No

--
Love, Bobeta

Ok. Pound TONS of water. You cant yack if theres no substance.

--
Love, Bobeta

Also, chug a few glasses of water/OJ till you feel a bit queasy. Makes the contents easier to flow out.

--
Love, Bobeta

OR: three fingers - ring, middle, and index. Flex them strait then push them till they hover over your tonsils and flick up and down like your churning water.

--
Love, Bobeta

Back of a toothbrush. Then use the other end to clean afterwards. You can thank my ex-gf.

--
Love, Bobeta

I'm reading Psyren.

It's ok.

--
Love, Bobeta

I'll be writing articles for the website. I need to read a SJ series first. I'm reading Naruto and One Piece now out of neccecity, but I was given a list to pick my own out of: Blue Exorcist, Claymore, Rosane + vamp season 2, slamdunk, tegami bachi, and Toriko. Any of those real good? Give some feedback. And/or ask me anything. My specialty is anything involving the website.

--
Love, Bobeta

No shop...ok plan B.

Look for mysterious things

Train Charmeleon and keep auto revive attached to him if I need to declare that.

2.i Caterpie Lv 14 is summoned!
ECBAD


2.ii Weedle Lv 14 is summoned!
BEDAC

2.iii Pidgey Lv 14 is summoned!

AECBD


2.ivNidoran F LV 14 is summoned!

EBCDA

2. v Rattata Lv 14 is summoned!

DCEAB


2.vi Ekans Lv 14 is summoned!

DCEAB

2.vii Zubat Lv 14 is summoned!

BDEAC


2.viii Pidgey Lv 16 is summoned!

EABCD


2.ix Nidoran F Lv 16 is summoned!

BCA


2.x Mankey Lv 18 is summoned!

AB

--
Love, Bobeta

Oh...no shop? Lame. Anyone wanna trade me a pokeball for a revive?

--
Love, Bobeta

Question first, can I do the same action twice with two badges? You know, train Chameleon twice?

Buy - Pokeball (X3), paralyze heal (X1), Burn heal (X1)

Use Pokeball, place that scrub behind Charmeleon for cleanup (rabble rabble, revive nerf, rabble)

Train Charmeleon and keep auto revive attached to him if I need to declare that.

2.i Caterpie Lv 14 is summoned!
ECBAD


2.ii Weedle Lv 14 is summoned!
BEDAC

2.iii Pidgey Lv 14 is summoned!

AECBD


2.ivNidoran F LV 14 is summoned!

EBCDA

2. v Rattata Lv 14 is summoned!

DCEAB


2.vi Ekans Lv 14 is summoned!

DCEAB

2.vii Zubat Lv 14 is summoned!

BDEAC


2.viii Pidgey Lv 16 is summoned!

EABCD


2.ix Nidoran F Lv 16 is summoned!

BCA


2.x Mankey Lv 18 is summoned!

AB

--
Love, Bobeta

I may be looking to fire trade a revive or two.

Probs for a Great Ball or something.

Anyone interested?

--
Love, Bobeta

Hey, everyone.

I start work at Shonen SF on Tuesday as an editorial intern.

I'll uh...keep you updated!

--
Love, Bobeta

You don't want a new account. You can't restock good items until your account is 3+ months old.

Go try to find an old on. Trust me.

--
Love, Bobeta

Ya, both are great, and have their pros and cons.

Difference is that IV you can get for cheap as all hell. Maybe wait for the 4th of July Steam sale and grab it for super cheap.

--
Love, Bobeta

Then nerf Bide, and give people one chance to take it off if they want.

--
Love, Bobeta

masterplum posted...


Well that's a bummer for me. One alpha poke + max auto-revives has been my strategy since day 1. I know this is a lottery, but to nerf an established item here doesn't seem too fair. If nothing else, I'd appreciate some sort of compensation for people with too many revives so they can switch things up.

--
Love, Bobeta

1. The things you can do everyday

Buy two revives, set both to auto
Teach Charmeleon Bide

Train Charmeleon


2. You encounter an optional fight! An evil looking fellow seems to be up to no good. He only has a level 17 Drowzee, but it does seem that it could be bad if you lose

Fight?
A. Yes (Fight in the same format as always)

2i. Drowzee starts to fall asleep! What do you want to do?

BDAEC

3. You decide to go and visit Bill to see if he has interesting to say. When you arrive you see that he isn’t actually there but his door is open. What should you do?

D. Read the papers that he has strewn across the ground.

4. Gym Battle! Misty wants to fight!

Misty sends out a Staryu level 18 who starts to shoot bright starts at you. What should you do?

A. Jump into the water to attempt to evade it
B. Start jumping across the platforms to try to get behind it
C. Roll forward and under it
D. Try to corner it
E. Go into a defensive stance

CBDEA


4.i. After rejoicing about your victory you suddenly notice a Starmie level 21 spinning in the middle of the room. A Maelstrom is forming in the water and a cyclone is forming around the Starmie above it. It is getting bigger by the second. What do you want to do?

A. Hide in the corner of the gym for an opportune moment.
B. Jump into the center
C. Grab onto the sides of the platforms
D. Run with the wind
E. Plant yourself into the ground

DECBA

5. Day Care center. You may leave a pokemon at the day care center which will gain 1 level per day. You may retrieve it at any time but it will cost &200 per level. Specify which pokemon you want to leave there or specify none of them

Lol, pretty sure I sure I shouldn't leave my only poke here

--
Love, Bobeta

Skies of Arcadia Legends
Tetris DS
FFIII (SNES)
Paper Mario?
I really can't think of a fifth

--
Love, Bobeta

CycloRaptor posted...
yeah nobody used the internet back in 2003
it was only available to the super rich who were free from the sitcom complaints of the plebeians

http://www.internetworldstats.com/emarketing.htm

About a 3.5X growth.

Also, the internet as a method to reach others easily didn't really kick in until about 05 when Youtube showed up.

--
Love, Bobeta

I don't.

I simply can't avoid that **** when every tenth topic or blog post is about it.

I have literally never heard someone in the real world mention Community. Not even once.

--
Love, Bobeta

I know more gossip about that show than ones I actually watch. I know what time it's on, I know all the characters, I know all the in-jokes. I watched it once; I found the guy from the Soup annoying, and the other characters completely unlikable.

Show gets a 1.3 for a reason. No one likes it. This isn't Arrested Development. The internet was too small then to honk their horns to whoever would listen. It's just a sitcom that doesn't understand how sitcoms work, and no one except you small majority on the internet will care when it's canceled. I don't like Two Broke Girls, either. But that show gets 20 million viewers, and its fans leave me alone. A rich man doesn't need to tell people he's rich.

I've been holding that in for a long time. I feel better now.

--
Love, Bobeta

Train Charmeleon



2. You see four Clefable’s dancing around a rock. As you get closer they all simultaneously turn around and stare at you. What do you want to do?

C. Scare them away and examine the rock


3. Battle! On your way out of MT. Moon Random members of Team Rocket attack! As you get ready to battle them a wave of poison gas hits you. If you have an antidote you can use it. Otherwise all of your pokemon will be weaker in battle. As always list all 5 actions from most to least favorable.

3i. Antidote?

B. No


3ii. Koffing is summoned and starts to spew more gas! What do you want to do?

EBCDA

3iii. An Ekans slithers up a wall and you lose track of it. What do you want to do?


EACBD


4. It is starting to get harder to come up with good ideas for random events and this worries me. Post random ideas to spur my imagination. As long as you post something you will succeed.

A young boy asks for what your favorite part of shorts are. What do you reply?

A) They're comfy
B) They're easy to wear
C) You don't wear shorts

--
Love, Bobeta

Train Pokemon (Charmeleon)


G. Nothing

B. No

A. I choose anyone who wants. Just add me, and I'll edit this.

B. No

--
Love, Bobeta

Looking for partner, preferably with a 2nd evolution poke. My level 19 Charmeleon needs a fellow alpha-male.

--
Love, Bobeta

1. SHOP at SHOP
Buy revive. Set to auto (yes, another one).

1. Every day you may choose to do one of the following actions:

B. Train Pokemon (Charmander)

Jailbreak!
B. No I will change this if anyone wants to PM me with any sort of offer.

2. You see a fisherman fishing in a pond nearby, what do you want to do?

C. Challenge him to a fight!

3. Gym Battle!

Brock Summons a Geodude Lv 12! It starts to harden! What do you want to do?

A. Bide your time and wait to strike!
B. Quickly slam it into the ground with whatever powers you have
C. Distract it and take advantage of its confusion
D. Hide from view
E. Rush straight into it

B,A,E,C,D

3.II Onix Lv 14 is summoned! It starts to strangle you or your pokemon! What do you do?

A. Frantically try to escape
B. Focus your inner will to try to lessen the pain
C. carefully try to squeeze out of it
D. Hit it in the face with all you've got!
E. Start to spin in circles to make it lose its grip on you

D,A,C,E,B

--
Love, Bobeta

masterplum posted...
From: baubeta | #072
Masterplum. Really digging this lottery.

Also, can you tell us the Win condition? I assume it's the first to beat the Elite 4 + Rival (SPOILERS?!!!?)
Correct

K, I still have another question,

With Revive auto on, will my Charmander auto-revive in battle even if he's my only fighter?

--
Love, Bobeta

Masterplum. Really digging this lottery.

Also, can you tell us the Win condition? I assume it's the first to beat the Elite 4 + Rival (SPOILERS?!!!?)

--
Love, Bobeta

Set Revive to Auto

Question, with Revive auto on, will my Charmander auto-revive in battle even if he's my only fighter?

1. Every day you may choose to do one of the following actions:


B. Train Pokemon (Charmander)


1.I Fight?
A. Yes


(If Applicable:
1.II. Caterpie starts slowly crawling toward your pokemon! What do you want to do?


B,C,D,E,A

Weedle:

E,C,D,B,A


2. You see a boy in the woods who is sad because his pokemon is poisoned. If you have an antidote you can cure his pokemon. Cure him?

B. No


3. Rare Pokemon Pikachu!

A. 0

No pokeballs. No money. More like POORkemon! AM I RITE?!?!

--
Love, Bobeta

SubDeity posted...
Alright, I'm in. Time to start shaping that that idea I PM'd you into a pitch.

You seem to be the one most interested in doing this, and that's what I'm looking for. This stuff is a pain in the ass. It will almost certainly be the most difficult thing you ever do. There are many things I could tell you, but I'll give you the most important stuff and PLEASE feel free to ask questions here. The other Cracked writers are really nice, but they all are pretty self-satisfied and tend to turn any newb question into a circle jerk about how proud they are of themselves (I do it too, to be fair.)

1) Don't be a jerk.

Your pitches will fail. God knows mine did. It took me 7 pitches to get one they liked. That seventh one was an abandoned article that really wasn't that hard, and I was lucky to see it just as it was moved to the abandoned folder. Of my first six, 4 were terrible, one was good enough, but I just decided to drop it because another had been accepted, and one was totally good enough and the Cracked editors are wrong and dumb and I hate them.

You may notice I'm being a jerk. I am, but on a different forum. I also complain to my mom, my friends, and people in the park about how Cracked just Doesn't understand my sense of humor, man

Yet I have never once complained about anything on the actual forum. The reason is simple. Writing for Cracked is a job. They pay you for your work, treat you with respect, and have the ability to terminate you at any time for any reason. If you were working at Starbucks (and hadn't actually ever sold a coffee to anyone) and your manager kept telling you how to fix things, what do you think would happen if you decided to lash out and alert them that they should back off because you know how to make coffee better than them?

That's what will happen in the workshop. If a pitch gets rejected, take it as a learning experience (trust me, it is) and go make another one using the knowledge you've gained. Don't whine, don't contest, if a editor doesn't like it just let it go.

2) As long as you're not a jerk, rejection means NOTHING

This one is hard to swallow for new writers. They work their asses off on a (usually painfully misguided) pitch, and get shot down by an editor with a simple, "Hey, this doesn't work, read these guidelines to better understand the rules" message. Yes, that sucks. I've felt it. But PLEASE know from the start that the only negative of having a pitch killed is that you wasted your time.

There are 250 or so pitches submitted each week. Roughly 200 of them are terrible. 25 of them are OK, but simply not interesting enough to keep going. 10 of them make it considering, but due to one reason or another never make it. (Those are the ones that end up in the abandoned folder). So that means 15 of 250 articles a week actually make it to the front page. There simply isn't enough time or effort for anyone to pay attention to all the bad pitches. The people who constantly in that top 15 DO get noticed, but the other 235...it's like you never pitched at all.

I've been with Cracked for a year. I remember one person who never had an article published. He was a huge jerk to me and got banned for it. So remember that: if/when your pitches fail, NO ONE will remember or care. Not because we're all super nice, but because you're simply one failure out of 235 that week.

--
Love, Bobeta

3) Tighten your focus.

You sent me three good stories about Russia. I liked them! What you have to do is focus your content into something more compact. "6 interesting things about Russia" won't fly because it's way too vague. Anyone could note 100 crazy things that have happened in any country in the world.

Of the three you sent me, 2 and 3 work best. I would package them into the pitch "6 Russian conflicts more insane than the Cold War" or something like that. I'm bad at titles, but you see how ridiculous Russian wars is more interesting than, "Oh Russia, you so crazy!!!!!" Don't think I'm picking on you either, your second and third examples are awesome.

I'll PM you, Sub at some point soon about how things are going. If you're interested in Co-writing with me, I'd love to. You'de likely need to help me out with the research, but if we did work together, I'm sure you'de benefit from me taking charge on all the editorial feedback which can be quite overwhelming.

--
Love, Bobeta

Weakupedia posted...
baubeta posted...
Weakupedia posted...
Tag.

EDIT: Am I the only one having the most difficult time trying to figure out how to post a reply?

Here or on the Cracked forums?

Also, has anyone been accepted yet?

on the cracked forums

i registered and did the email confirmation...but it still shows me as a guest that is viewing the thread, and i don't see any options to reply.

Happened to me once. It was only on firefox. Try using a different browser.

--
Love, Bobeta

Sure. I go here because I like a lot of the discussion. When people get all angry with each-other here, I realize that people take this whole internet message board thing too seriously. My advice for them is to go make some real-world friends and then argue with them.

--
Love, Bobeta

Weakupedia posted...
Tag.

EDIT: Am I the only one having the most difficult time trying to figure out how to post a reply?

Here or on the Cracked forums?

Also, has anyone been accepted yet?

--
Love, Bobeta

Buy Revive. B,A,B, B

--
Love, Bobeta

[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]

Big Bob posted...
I've seen those, and I FAR prefer David's post-e3 arguments about how he doesn't like the direction the industry is going (and I think a few months ago someone wrote a counter-argument saying the industry is fine), as well as Cheese's observations about how he plays games as opposed to the way his kids do. It spurs discussion, which is far more interesting to me than "look at this weird thing we found on youtube!".

You're free to feel that way. I'm just saying you can't do that as well. All three of those articles were done by columnists. I don't make the rules for the site. If you refuse to do things their way they'll just shut you down at the pitch stage. I'm trying to save you the time and effort.

--
Love, Bobeta

AlphaRayAllen posted...
I already have a valid account, as you know.

Tell me more.

http://www.cracked.com/forums/forum/all-your-questions-answered-here

Go there. Read all five threads. Especially the first one. Don't just read them. Understand them. They're VERY strict on formatting everything the right way. The people there look at 300 pitches a week, they don't have time to work with those that aren't even formatted correctly.

Then go here

http://www.cracked.com/forums/forum/ready-editorial

Read a series of these pitches. See how they're all done. Your pitches should look just like them.

--
Love, Bobeta

Big Bob posted...
You said in the last topic that research is about 80% of the process. If that's true, then why are new writers even needed if they spend most of their time just finding sources? I've played a ton of video games throughout my life, but while I have tons of opinions on the state of the industry, how it should and shouldn't be changed, etc, there's not a whole lot that would fit into the fact-based list forms that Cracked is forcing new writers to adhere to.


http://www.cracked.com/article_19745_the-5-ballsiest-easter-eggs-hidden-in-video-games.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_19507_the-8-creepiest-glitches-hidden-in-popular-video-games.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_19447_6-arcade-games-too-awesome-to-get-released-in-west.html

Those are three video-game articles written by freelance writers. Yes, you can't talk about why Mario is better than Zelda. What you can do is present history about those characters that no one has ever heard about?

And honestly, which of those articles do you think more people would want to read?

--
Love, Bobeta

Hey guys, I write for Cracked.

http://www.cracked.com/members/bobeta/

It's awesome. It got me two internships this summer. It's the proudest thing I've ever done. Now I want to help some of the super talented, funny writers here do the same!

1) Go here:
http://www.cracked.com/forums/topic/27006/we-want-you-to-make-comedy-cracked

You'll have to make an account first. Do so, and post a message in the thread saying you would like to sign up. You can make a joke if you want...but no one will care.

It will take about two-three days to gain access to the workshop. The workshop is basically a hidden section of the forum where all the ideas are pitched. I'll go over in more detail what goes on there, but just know that it's difficult, complicated, and will make you a much better writer.

If it's like Tuesday/Wedensday and you still don't have access to the workshop (your forum title will be changed to "Purveyor of D*** jokes" once you have. Post in that thread again. Sometimes they miss people.

While we wait for people to gain access, I'll take any questions yall have. You can post any ideas you have here, just remember that they have to be list based, fact based, and not rely on any sort of goofy character style. Only columnists get to write subjectively.

--
Love, Bobeta

A, B (Charmander), A

--
Love, Bobeta

foolm0ron posted...
I can see another future Baubeta Cracked article: Ten Really God Damn Stupid Ideas for Cracked Articles That I Got From Suckers on a Message Board Who Foolishly Trusted Me

1) That wouldn't run. 2) Way to troll a thread where I try to help writers improve their careers.

--
Love, Bobeta