| Board List | |
|---|---|
| Topic | What would you guys do? (story topic, I guess) |
| HaRRicH 04/07/17 7:34:54 AM #8 | Quit, and if you're ever asked about it in an interview say you left because they were trying to make you move locations for the job. --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
| Topic | Games by year, ranked and explained - part II, 2005-2016 |
| HaRRicH 04/07/17 1:30:00 AM #93 | Oh crap, didn't realize how good 2008 was. Braid, MM9, and at one time SSBB were all in my top ten games. Mario Kart Wii got a lot of undeserved hate, too -- second best Mario Kart, and not just because it came with a wheel. Good casual fun there, plus unlike Brawl its online connections were legit! --- GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser |
| Topic | Time to try itch.io's 151+ games from their Good Bundle. |
| HaRRicH 04/06/17 11:09:44 PM #246 | Rawr. --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
| Topic | The Beatles -- ranking songs and albums. |
| HaRRicH 04/06/17 11:09:14 PM #224 | Up. --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
| Topic | R.I.P. Don Rickles (90) [comedian] [Toy Story] |
| HaRRicH 04/06/17 4:03:08 PM #3 | Oh no...sad day. --- Posted using GameFlux |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/06/17 12:33:36 PM #35 | And hey, if anybody wants to point out the inside jokes here that you don't think will play well with an audience, that'd be helpful! I think this is nearly workshoppable as-is...just nearly though. My bigger concern's the ending, but some inside jokes like the three-breasted alien could be an issue too (the original topic mentioned some sort of fear of three-breasted aliens). --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/06/17 12:28:38 PM #34 | Appreciate the feedback -- no offense taken! I wrote JEFF IN SPACE for Board 8 first and firstmost, so I'll take the SOLOCOM hit and just try again another day. My philosophy's been that if I can sincerely entertain myself as a writer, then other people will come along for the journey. I've learned that this does not have 100% accuracy...haha, but I write enough to have a lot of pieces that do work and I've got a style that helps audiences feel like they're in on some inside jokes by the end. Writing plays for people I know based on titles they give have helped me both get more personal (gift and curse, as you noted) and varied with my writing. For the record, I've done twenty of these personalized scripts so far the past two years. One of them was staged twice in Tennessee last year, one got an NYC debut (at Bad Theater Fest, so call it what you want), and I'm waiting to be able to officially announce what's up with a third one. That's 15% of these recommended titles...no idea how good or bad that is, but it makes people happy too that's cool. =) --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
| Topic | Politics Containment Topic 82: Gotta Nuke Somethin |
| HaRRicH 04/06/17 11:55:31 AM #447 | https://twitter.com/JustSchmeltzer/status/849716818293907456 Committed to the job. --- Brought to you by GameFlux Free GameFAQs app on Google Play! |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/06/17 10:36:03 AM #31 | One-man bump. --- Brought to you by GameFlux Free GameFAQs app on Google Play! |
| Topic | Politics Containment Topic 82: Gotta Nuke Somethin |
| HaRRicH 04/06/17 9:18:27 AM #426 | GuessMyUserName posted... Nobody cares if you believe a God "kickstarted" the universe For the record, I do personally believe a god crowdsourced the funds it takes to invest in a universe. --- GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser |
| Topic | Politics Containment Topic 82: Gotta Nuke Somethin |
| HaRRicH 04/06/17 12:38:38 AM #413 | I don't want to discourage breaking CONTAINMENT if it means some good conversation and learning can go down, but also I want to offer Machete a nice cold beer to help relax. --- Posted using GameFlux |
| Topic | Time to try itch.io's 151+ games from their Good Bundle. |
| HaRRicH 04/06/17 12:14:14 AM #245 | Fish Kermesse There's a few NPCs here, but it's really all about one super-simple fishing game here. If you have the reflexes to time when your hook is over a fish (and intelligence to realize the game won't let you get the smallest fish), you can rack up some serious dough. This allows you to buy prizes and impress this girl you like enough to hold her hand. Just like a woman to want a "human artifact" AKA iPod fron you before you can make a move...but hey, she'll hold your hand even when both your moms are around, so that's cool. The music reminds me of LISA's cheerier moments, too. Finished: Lost Constellation The Four Old Gods birdsong PLAYED IN 2016 - Gone Home Little Party MangoMan The Tops Don't Sting You! Longest Night The Temple of No MOMENTUM Loco Motion Sandstorm Dfragmente Those Times Grampy Katz in: The Big Date Fish Kermesse RotoDefendo Trackoons Farewell, Brother Moody Sand and Stars Star Kite Mediterranean Voidland Femur Fever Amity x Li Gat Life: Boyfriend Bar Monkey Pop Slam City Oracles Find Me a Good One Desert Dreamer Nuclear Reaction Blue Bullet Hell Onslaught of the Mean-Spirited Ancient Deities An Evening of Modern Dance Lily Seed Colored Candles Are You With Us? Depression Quest Even in Arcadia, There I Am Your Gay Monster Family Your Darkest Thoughts A nice break Hope's Peak Intimate Codex Marshall Avatar Generator Ghostkeeper PLAYED IN 2016 - Dr. Langeskov, the Tiger, and the Terribly Cursed Emerald: a Whirlwind Curse Tenebris SNUGGLEBAT Noise Snke rain Combat Genetics 1234567890 SODZEN Krnch a difficult day --- GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 11:30:02 PM #30 | I'm open to suggestions for an additional final scene/monologue after all this madness goes down. --- Brought to you by GameFlux Free GameFAQs app on Google Play! |
| Topic | Games by year, ranked and explained - part II, 2005-2016 |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 11:22:28 PM #73 | 2008: both the peak and the death of the Wii. --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
| Topic | The Beatles -- ranking songs and albums. |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 11:21:00 PM #222 | AdmiralZephyr posted... 168. I Want You (She's So Heavy) Not gotten to this song yet! I'm singling it out though because I heard it on Pandora awhile back and have been looking forward to it this whole project. I won't be listening to this FINAL ALBUM WOOHOO for another day or two, but I hope I still like the song! --- Brought to you by GameFlux Free GameFAQs app on Google Play! |
| Topic | which Zelda race is your favorite? |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 7:01:24 PM #4 | Beaver. --- Posted using GameFlux |
| Topic | brohan ranks his favorite memory of you |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 6:50:26 PM #11 | Do iiiiiiiit. --- Posted using GameFlux |
| Topic | Those of you b8'ers that don't want children..... |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 6:47:53 PM #38 | There's a beautiful joy to relationships and probably making your own family...but I also take great pride in what I do with my free time nowadays too and I wouldn't call my outside-of-work contributions wasted either. No way I'm gonna stress about having children protect me after retirement when I'm single and turning down dates lately. --- GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 6:34:36 PM #29 | Huzzah. --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
| Topic | Politics Containment Topic 82: Gotta Nuke Somethin |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 4:17:00 PM #325 | https://twitter.com/DKElections/status/849699196093464576 Is there a Republican comparison? I also don't want to jump to conclusions and assume once again that more money is going to help the Democrats against Donald, but seeing a big increase like that is encouraging. --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
| Topic | My friend's got a new podcast and is looking for feedback. |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 3:37:49 PM #18 | Appreciate that -- I'll make sure they hear your feedback! --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 2:25:12 PM #28 | In case anybdoy else had to Google what Omon Ra was: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omon_Ra --- Posted using GameFlux |
| Topic | Politics Containment Topic 82: Gotta Nuke Somethin |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 12:33:31 PM #304 | LapisLazuli posted... Holy hell this is the weakest spin attempt to date, what idiot is gonna beleive him? We'll have plenty of answers by nightfall. Don't think this is just a rhetorical question. --- Brought to you by GameFlux Free GameFAQs app on Google Play! |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 9:12:18 AM #27 | Not today or tomorrow, no. I was submitting it for the SOLOCOM festival in NYC when writing it, but it got declined so that was part of what discouraged me and slowed me down...maybe another year or location though? --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 9:07:51 AM #25 | You did. Basically I had a poll asking if people wanted the first title suggested, second title suggested, or third title suggested. You quickly nominated JEFF IN SPACE, and it crushed BLACK SEINFELD and something else. --- Brought to you by GameFlux Free GameFAQs app on Google Play! |
| Topic | Games by year, ranked and explained - part II, 2005-2016 |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 9:00:58 AM #65 | 2007 should do well...not wholy confident it will, but it was a good year. --- GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 7:34:18 AM #22 | Steiner posted... tag to read later Seriously? Oh no, I deadnamed him! --- GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 12:46:31 AM #18 | Jeff in Kevin Spacy. --- Posted using GameFlux |
| Topic | The Beatles -- ranking songs and albums. |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 12:44:18 AM #216 | Phil Spector sounds like he has a story. --- Posted using GameFlux |
| Topic | Time to try itch.io's 151+ games from their Good Bundle. |
| HaRRicH 04/05/17 12:34:48 AM #244 | Not done, believe it or not. --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 11:08:30 PM #17 | Up! --- GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 9:50:01 PM #16 | The twist I don't think people appreciate enough is that Jeff was --- Brought to you by GameFlux Free GameFAQs app on Google Play! |
| Topic | hey and now my ramen crate got here |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 9:46:49 PM #7 | Looks delicious, but also I have no idea what any of that is supposed to represent. --- Posted using GameFlux |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 8:39:59 PM #12 | I_Like_Beards posted... No 'Thanks for that, Lusterboard'? I have failed. --- Posted using GameFlux |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 8:30:55 PM #10 | LUSTERBOARD Initiating "Delayed Turbo." [Jeff dashes to the motherboard, but gravity forces his back to slam against the wall.] JEFF WHOOOOOAAAAA!!! LUSTERBOARD Remember: I didn't do this. You did this. JEFF I was just mashing buttons. LUSTERBOARD You've been mashing buttons your whole life, that's why you're here. [Jeff crawls toward the motherboard.] JEFF Just take me home! LUSTERBOARD More "Delayed Turbo." [The shuttle takes wild sharp turns and slings Jeff against various walls.] JEFF Ow! Jesus! LUSTERBOARD This is all your fault for mashing buttons. JEFF You're my security upgrade, make it stop! LUSTERBOARD I am protecting you -- protecting you from yourself. JEFF What?! LUSTERBOARD This is for your own good. [Jeff's flailing against the shuttle's walls slowly morphs into a dance of sorts.] JEFF You're hurting me! LUSTERBOARD Only physically. JEFF You're awful security! LUSTERBOARD I cannot always save you from yourself, and it's too late to save your mother from you. I must at least save your motherboard from you. JEFF Don't you equate mothers to motherboards... [Jeff barrel-rolls across the shuttle.] ...I'm getting dizzy here, stop LUSTERBOARD! LUSTERBOARD You're messing up the journey. This is for science. [Jeff spins back across and finishes with a cartwheel into the wall.] JEFF STOP. RIGHT. NOW. YOU'RE. KILLING. ME. LUSTERBOARD You're not surviving anyway. Stop resisting and science will learn from you. Do not mess this up. JEFF Oh yeah? [He rolls toward his Mountain Dew bottle.] If there's one thing I'm good at in life... [He shakes up his bottle.] ...it's messing things up... [He opens the bottle and sprays it all over the motherboard. The shuttle short-circuits.] ...AAAHHH -- I'M SORRY MOTHERBOARD!!! LUSTERBOARD Our precious stats. NO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0o. [Hard black-out.] OUT OF THIS WORLD --- DpObliVion wins the contest and fills you with determination. My bracket had a bad time. |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 8:28:09 PM #9 | JEFF If you're telling me I'm not gonna live, I swear to God-- LUSTERBOARD You have __ONE__ new voice mail. [Jeff's eyes light up.] JEFF Play it please. LUSTERBOARD As your security upgrade, I cannot allow that. JEFF What? Why would you even-- LUSTERBOARD I just analyzed that you would like to know you had a response. JEFF Yeah! I want to know! LUSTERBOARD I cannot allow it due to potential psychological damage... [Jeff stares at the motherboard.] ...what are you thinking? JEFF Where's that "Force Override" button? LUSTERBOARD You don't want to do that-- [Jeff holds down the "Force Override" button. Lusterboard makes a white static-noise.] JEFF LUSTERBOARD, play my friend's voice mail. LUSTERBOARD Your wish is my command. You have __ONE__ new voice mail. FRANKLIN OR FRANK OR FRANKY Yo Jeff, you skeleton-lookin' PUNK... JEFF Oh. FRANKLIN OR FRANK OR FRANKY ...this is Francis Franco, hope all is hell. I got your message. YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY?! JEFF I was pretty funny. FRANKLIN OR FRANK OR FRANKY You breaking my arm sure cost a bunch of people their Christmas bonuses, I just want you to know. LOTS of hungry homes, ha ha. Didn't yo mama raise you better than this? JEFF He's just mad I outsmarted him. LUSTERBOARD There is more. JEFF Huh? FRANKLIN OR FRANK OR FRANKY So I decided to look up your old emergency contact info and pay the misses a visit, and oh hey, look, here's a cheap looking vase with her name on it. Hello Terra... JEFF He better not. FRANKLIN OR FRANK OR FRANKY ...Terra De Niro, you've been a very bad mother letting your son live with you all these years. Somebody ought to smack some sense into you... JEFF He better not dare-- [Two thuds are heard, like something was slapped and then something fell. Jeff fumes.] FRANKLIN OR FRANK OR FRANKY ...oops, that was a little hard, wasn't it? Made you make quite the mess. I could just leave you here considering your son left messes and spills all over this STINKING WASTE OF SPACE, but I'm better than that. I'll clean you up. That's what you would want, right Jeff? JEFF Turn it off. FRANKLIN OR FRANK OR FRANKY Here we go, right behind the broom and pan -- just what I need. [A vacuum roars as Jeff's former boss laughs maniacally.] JEFF Turn it off, LUSTERBOARD! [The voice mail clicks off.] LUSTERBOARD Message deleted. JEFF Good, now take me back to Earth. LUSTERBOARD This ship has no such capability. JEFF Do I need to hit Force Override again? LUSTERBOARD It will do you no good. JEFF LUSTERBOARD, listen -- he's holding my dead mom hostage and I can't let him get away with that! LUSTERBOARD You signed onto this journey. You understood the risks to be taken. JEFF Do I really understand? Tell me if I'll survive then... [Silence.] ...I understood I might not survive when I first signed on, but you've been real tight-lipped ever since I came on board. Is this a one-way mission? [Silence.] Answer me! [Silence. Jeff looks to the motherboard.] --- DpObliVion wins the contest and fills you with determination. My bracket had a bad time. |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 8:24:26 PM #8 | JEFF Stupid Verizon. LUSTERBOARD What is the matter? JEFF I just wanna hear from my friends and I can't check my voice mails. LUSTERBOARD You should not expect voice mails... JEFF Hey, that's rude-- LUSTERBOARD No it is not. You were selected largely because of your lack of connections with the outside world. JEFF I have friends. LUSTERBOARD Not likely, according to your application. When asked about your hobbies and activities, you stuck with single-player video games and science fiction. JEFF F-Zero GX is totally multi-player. It's sweet futuristic racing. LUSTERBOARD Yes, against up to twenty-nine other drivers. Tell me human, tell me how many of those twenty-nine opponents were human. JEFF Well-- LUSTERBOARD And I do not mean their avatars were human. I know some avatars were humans and others were aliens. How many human players did you play against? JEFF That's not fair, I have friends that enjoyed those experiences by themselves too. LUSTERBOARD And how often did you call those friends before you knew you were leaving the earth? JEFF Like...I dunno, whatever -- you got me, okay LUSTERBOARD? I'm just not as socially active as I used to be when Mom was still alive. Losing her really reshaped my life. LUSTERBOARD You said so in your application. JEFF I know, but there wasn't much room to explain how. I'll tell you though, since maybe you'll feel my pain... LUSTERBOARD I am artificial intelligence. JEFF ...'twas a dark and stormy night -- never expected to lose her, not like this. It'll be three years ago next week, on my birthday. There's this crazy-curvy road, called Dead Woman's Drive. It used to be called Dead Man's Drive, but you know how people are getting with equality nowadays. Anyway, it's the only way to Dave & Buster's where we live. We were coming back home from there and the rain poured poured poured. I drove as carefully as I could -- I really did. Hydroplaning is so unpredictable though...it can just happen anywhere, even in the middle of an argument. So I was trying to explain to Mom how she wasted all her tickets she won. She could have gotten two glow-in-the-dark clocks and one of those claw-toys that let you pinch and pick things up, you know? But nooooo, she found this vase -- this vase looks like a friggin' urn -- she found this plastic vase for the same amount of tickets. So here I am yelling at her, like "What were you thinking?! When you wake up in the middle of the night, you're gonna want to know what time it is." She's...she was crazy though. She took the vase-thing. So we argued awhile, and suddenly we're sliding across the road. My car did this 180; we slid off the road and into the hard side of a cliff. It all happened so fast -- I looked over and she was...she was... LUSTERBOARD She was dead? JEFF ...she was abducted by the Ku Klux Klan. They ripped open the door and took her away screaming before I knew what happened. LUSTERBOARD But you're white. JEFF Like I said -- never expected to lose her, not like this. Three days later, they found her body soaking wet in the middle of the Lost Woods. They covered her in a blanket...a big white blanket draped over her with little eye-holes. I went and got her cremated -- her wish, not mine -- and then I put her in her prized vase she just won. She'll never have to leave the safety of home again. LUSTERBOARD Never? JEFF Not as long as I'm alive. LUSTERBOARD I have news for you, Jeffrey. --- DpObliVion wins the contest and fills you with determination. My bracket had a bad time. |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 8:21:26 PM #7 | JEFF Hello, my name is Jeffrey Falcon De Niro. My address is 107 Rainbow Road in Mute City. I think I have great neck support and no idea where I'm at... [He feels his neck-pillow.] ...neck support confirmed. Ugh. Space sucks so far. Let me look outside and see if it gets any cooler... [Jeff forces himself up and goes to the window.] ...I wonder what planets I'll see, or stars, or creatures. Oh man, creatures! Maybe there'll be some scary alien boobs... [He sees Earth outside, looking small.] ...wow, it's beautiful. I wish I could share this. It reminds me of...ah crap, I forgot to clean up the Mountain Dew... [Black-out to Super Metroid's "Item Room." Lights return to Jeff eating space food and recording himself as he reads the label on his space food.] ..."Astronaut Cinnamon Apple Wedges." I remember eating these as a kid in Space Camp...didn't remember these cinnamon apples tasting cinnamon awful though. It's depressing to eat, and I've only woken up four times so far. It'd be a lot better if I could go into Zero Gravity, but I'm still scared to press any buttons... [He eyes the motherboard.] ...stupid apples... [Lights, "Item Room," lights. Jeff looks out of the window and sees Total Recall's woman with three breasts floating by. He jumps back.] ...I think alien boobs are a lot like space: you REALLY want to like what you see, but you're not comfortable enough to be there alone... [Lights, "Item Room," lights -- Jeff stares at the motherboard, puzzled. He takes a swig of Mountain Dew. Lights again, "Item Room" again, lights again -- Jeff presses buttons on a new day.] ...maybe "Bottle Dispenser" does something... [He clicks. A bottle of Mountain Dew rolls out.] ...oh hey, yeah! Now about "Foreshadow Turbo"... [He clicks. A digital loading sound is made.] ...hmmmmm... [He presses "Foreshadow Turbo" multiple times. The loading sound repeats multiple times.] ...I guess nothing. "Force Override..." [He tries to click, but it's locked in place.] ...it won't click. That's weird -- must not be a valid option right now. How about "Security Upgrade"... [He clicks. A humming noise begins.] ...huh. A new button reacted to me. I wonder what it... [An 8-bit smiley face appears on the computer monitor.] ...oh, what the-- LUSTERBOARD Hello Jeffrey. JEFF Uh, hi. LUSTERBOARD Hi is a greeting. High is also a relative term for something above you or perhaps a state of mind. I have determined you meant a greeting. JEFF Yes. LUSTERBOARD Yes. Yes, it is settled now. My name is LUSTERBOARD. You have chosen the Security Upgrade, so I will protect you from any future choices you may make. JEFF But not past choices? LUSTERBOARD No. JEFF So about those other buttons I was hitting-- LUSTERBOARD Bad choices. Bad, irreversible choices. JEFF Oh. LUSTERBOARD If there are any questions, do ask. JEFF Will I live to see Mercury? LUSTERBOARD L-O-L. Did you not watch the DVD? [Lights, "Item Room," lights. Jeff tries to get reception on his phone.] --- DpObliVion wins the contest and fills you with determination. My bracket had a bad time. |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 8:18:26 PM #6 | COMMANDER CORTANA OXENPOTTY Hello, and welcome __JEFFREY DI NERO__. I have been expecting you... JEFF Oxenpotty? [The door slams behind him.] COMMANDER CORTANA OXENPOTTY ...the only thing left to prepare you is this instructional video... [A screen pops up that says "DVD not found. Begin next command."] ...okay! I'm afraid I won't be seeing you again. Are you ready to begin __JEFFREY DI NERO__? [Jeff squints his eyes with skepticism.] We will be taking off in T...minus...now... [Suddenly the engines blast off; the gravitational pull slams Jeff flat against the floor.] JEFF AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! COMMANDER CORTANA OXENPOTTY ...welcome to your first moments off of Earth. You may experience an uncomfortable gravitational pull. Do not worry -- it will only last until you leave the atmosphere in three minutes. If you black out, all you need to do is-- [The lights cut out. The logo for "JEFF IN SPACE" appears to the music of Super Metroid's "Item Room." The lights come up as Jeff lays on the floor. He regains his composure and pulls out his phone's recorder while on his back.] --- DpObliVion wins the contest and fills you with determination. My bracket had a bad time. |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 8:15:24 PM #5 | JEFF Hey Mom, sorry I lost my temper again. You know I didn't mean to hurt you, again. I, uh...I might not be causing you any more problems. I'm going to space Mom -- did you hear me read the letter? Space. It's a landmark mission and I might not survive. Will you keep the house safe while I'm gone? I'm kidding -- I know you will... [He dumps his mom's ashes back into the urn.] ...if the worst was to happen, just know I'll be happy getting to see you again. Love you... [Jeff rests his fishbowl-helmet against her urn. He packs in a hurry and walks out the front door to look into the sky.] ...space. [He boards the bus and rides down many roads to the music of F-Zero's "Dream Chaser." He pulls out a neck pillow from his suitcase. He makes some calls.] Hey Steiner, long time no see -- hope you're doing well. Just wanted to let you know I'm about to live my dream out and go to space dude! I'll be on the bus awhile, so just call me back as soon as you can because I probably won't get service on Mercury...I'm still at the same number. Peace! [He calls another friend.] Voice mail...Kaelee! It's Jeff -- been awhile, I know. I was just thinking of how much you loved to travel and wanted to share the news that I'm traveling somewhere new: MERCURY! I don't think I can send you anything from outer space, but I'll record what I can just in case. Call me as soon as you get this before I board the shuttle...same number. See ya soon! [He calls a former boss.] Hello, this message is for Franklin Yeninas, or Frank Luchen, or Franky Kennedy, or whatever you call yourself now. I just wanted to confess something: I'm the one who buttered your office floor on your birthday, you piece of crap scam-artist. Too bad breaking your arm didn't stop you from pick-pocketing the poor and elderly, huh? If you got something to say about it, you can kiss my pasty ass from space 'cuz that's where I'll be. Pinch one off and suck it, baldy! [He hangs up and continues traveling for a long time. He checks his phone periodically, but nobody responds. Boredom and loneliness sets in. As Jeff starts to fall asleep, the bus comes to a screeching halt.] AAAHHH -- I'M SORRY MOM!!! [Jeff collects his senses. The bus-bell dings as the driver mumbles through his closing announcements.] BUS DRIVER welcome-to-kodiak-island-please-check-your-seat-for-trash-and-grab-all-of-your-belongings-thank-you-for-choosing-yabbadabbabus-and-remember-we-are-not-responsible-for-anything-you-leave-on-earth [Jeff grabs his suitcase and steps off the bus. He crosses the beautiful scenery and arrives at Apollo Red.] JEFF Hello? [A raven squawks and scares Jeff.] Jesus... [He walks into Apollo Red.] ...hi, uh, I'm here. [As Jeff gives up on getting a response, a voice booms over the intercom.] --- DpObliVion wins the contest and fills you with determination. My bracket had a bad time. |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 8:13:16 PM #3 | JEFF IN SPACE [Jeff plays the video game F-Zero GX in his bedroom to the music of "Aeropolis (Final Lap)." Someone knocks on his front door.] JEFF In a minute... [The knocking continues.] ...I almost won gold in the Ruby Cup, hold on. Soooooooo cloooooooose... [A final demanding knock scares Jeff.] ...crap, you made me kick over my Mountain Dew man-- F-Zero Announcer Finish! JEFF No! No no no! [Jeff storms out and throws his controller. During his temper tantrum, he bumps into an urn and knocks it off. Ashes fly out as Jeff's mood sinks. He opens the front door with authority.] What?! [A package sits in front of the door. He looks around outside, then brings it inside. He tears a letter off the top of the package and reads it aloud.] LETTER "To Mister Jeffrey De Niro: after much consultation, this letter is to inform you that your request has been selected and approved. You will be the first civilian to ride Apollo Red..." JEFF ...oh my God... LETTER "...Apollo Red will take the historic first step in seeing if a transportation-shuttle can successfully carry human life to our first on-surface visit of Mercury..." JEFF ...oh my God... LETTER "...should this mission prove successful, you will have paved the way for trained astronauts to safely travel there for future studies. We will of course rely on your findings as well..." JEFF ...oh my God, I can't believe this is happening to me... LETTER "...you should expect the utmost safety to support you in your journey. Inside the package, you will find the official suit for Apollo Red. If you have not already opened the package, you may do so now..." [Jeff struggles with the tape on the package.] JEFF ...come on, stupid Amazon Prime... [Jeff opens the package. He finds two items: a red shirt and fishbowl-helmet.] ...oh man, sweet... LETTER "...go ahead Jeffrey, put it on..." [He puts on the shirt and helmet.] JEFF ...yeah... LETTER "...this suit will protect you in space. We have spared no expense for your safety. Your bus leaves this afternoon and will take you to Kodiak Island, Alaska. You'll see Apollo Red when you arrive. Meet me inside and we'll go from there..." JEFF ...yeeeees... LETTER "...we wish you the very best in this once-in-a-lifetime activity. Thank you for your interest in space, where we shall fly far together. Yours, Commander Cortana Oxenpotty, ASSA..." [Jeff fist-pumps.] "...PS: while we assure you our fullest efforts to protect you while you are in space, we do encourage you before you go to say goodbye to your loved ones." [Jeff gazes at the ashes from the urn. He grabs his broom and pan to sweep.] --- DpObliVion wins the contest and fills you with determination. My bracket had a bad time. |
| Topic | A year and a half later, a promise completed: JEFF IN SPACE. [script] |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 8:10:46 PM #1 | I had a poll something like September 2015 where I let Board 8 pick a title for a play for me to write. JEFF IN SPACE ran away with it in the results, and...I have to admit something: this was hard to write. It was my first one-man show, and while I was writing it I was submitting it to theatres and was getting rejected during the creative process...so I moved on to other projects. Anyway, I've waited waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long to show ya'll what dumb madness I did with JEFF IN SPACE, so...here we go. --- DpObliVion wins the contest and fills you with determination. My bracket had a bad time. |
| Topic | My friend's got a new podcast and is looking for feedback. |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 8:01:51 PM #16 | Friendly bump. --- GameFlux: Unofficial GameFAQs board browser |
| Topic | Time to try itch.io's 151+ games from their Good Bundle. |
| HaRRicH 04/04/17 1:02:23 AM #243 | Rabble rabble. --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
| Topic | The Beatles -- ranking songs and albums. |
| HaRRicH 04/03/17 8:00:37 PM #214 | After fourteen albums: Revolver Help! Past Masters, Volume Two Magical Mystery Tour Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band The White Album Please Please Me Let It Be With The Beatles A Hard Day's Night Rubber Soul Past Masters, Volume One Beatles For Sale Yellow Submarine Some good songs, but considerably weaker than Past Masters, Volume Two which already shared three of their ten COMPLETE songs here. Gotta respect the eponymous title though, and I still catch myself randomly going AAAAALL I WAAAAANT IS YOOOOOUUUUU. I just don't see it as complete, though at least it's cohesive. --- DpObliVion wins the contest and fills you with determination. My bracket had a bad time. |
| Topic | Politics Containment Topic 82: Gotta Nuke Somethin |
| HaRRicH 04/03/17 2:50:07 PM #6 | You can replace Schumer's name there with "Judges" too. --- Brought to you by GameFlux Free GameFAQs app on Google Play! |
| Topic | The Beatles -- ranking songs and albums. |
| HaRRicH 04/03/17 2:20:44 PM #210 | I've heard them before, they just sound more like characters here. --- Brought to you by GameFlux Free GameFAQs app on Google Play! |
| Topic | Politics Containment Topic 82: Gotta Nuke Somethin |
| HaRRicH 04/03/17 2:19:49 PM #4 | Gorsuch getting confirmed after the way these past fifteen months have gone will be one of the biggest political injustices of our generation. "LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE!" The people decided with Obama, and then Republicans said they would block Hillary too, and then the people decided again with Hillary, and now Republicans are aiming to change the rules for the most hated man in political history. Whoever called this whole thing morally bankrupt awhile back is spot-on. --- Brought to you by GameFlux Free GameFAQs app on Google Play! |
| Topic | The Beatles -- ranking songs and albums. |
| HaRRicH 04/03/17 2:05:23 PM #208 | Let It Be After their weird journey from Sgt. Peppers to Yellow Submarine, this feels like a folksy twist with an intention of returning to more familiar sounds. It also feels more like a jumble than most of their other albums though; this album's got weird little voices like whatever's before Let It Be, or the one singing Danny Boy after One After 909. It's like they intended them to be light-hearted transitions to connect these songs more, but it makes it a bit creepy instead. Dig A Pony's a misleading name! Get Back, Across The Universe, and Let It Be are repeats from Past Masters, Volume Two...but PMV2's three songs gets the nod over this album's three songs due to not having those awkward transitional voices. Have I been clear about how annoying they are? Are they even the Beatles' voices? I Me Mine was the last song the Beatles recorded, right? Pretty haunting vibe here. Maggie May...is that Bob Dylan I hear? Probably not, but I know he was quite the "influence" on the Beatles and it sounds like something I'd imagine him joining in for. Either way, this and Dig It are odd inclusions since they're just incomplete fifty-second songs. I guess when the Beatles are done making albums, you cobble together whatever's unreleased and make that money while you can. #getpaid The Long And Winding Road had such a nice orchestra behind it...very elegant. Let It Be: Let It Be Dig A Pony The Long And Winding Road I Me Mine I've Got A Feeling Across The Universe Two Of Us Get Back For You Blue One After 909 Dig It Maggie May --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
| Topic | Politics Containment Topic 81: LGBT Census-ship Censorship |
| HaRRicH 04/03/17 12:41:05 PM #467 | http://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/4/3/15157406/trump-russia-fbi-fox?utm_campaign=vox&utm_content=chorus&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter Donald wants the FBI to watch more Fox & Friends. I've been a comedic writer for over a decade and I don't know how I'll ever top real life now. --- Posted using GameFlux Get it now for Android from Google Play! |
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