Lurker > Cleo_II

Wordle 446 4/6*

Youre referring to the three secrets of Fatima. And Im pretty sure the third secret was something about persecution of Christians and an attack on a Bishop or something. Many have interpreted it to be the attempted assassination of Pope John Paul II. So not some big mystery. People have been claiming its about an impending apocalypse ever since I was a kid.

Married 8 years and together for nearly 12

My parents use to threaten to beat the shit out of me or kill me if I ever left. And when I did, they didnt do a thing. Ignore your shitty parents and do what is right for you. Dont let their negativity influence you. Even if you do move out and it didnt work out, thats ok. Its ok to fail. Life is about failing and getting up to try again. Its how we better ourselves. Otherwise you will remain and stagnate more over time. Life is too short.

bsp77 posted...

Okay, I will agree if sent late at night, I would wait until the following evening to be concerned. I concede there.

Still though, usually when a strong connection after having a date, they message me first thing in the morning if I had sent at night.

Id be terrible at dating then if I ever ended back on the market. I hate texting. I take hours to respond to my friends. But yeah at 24 hours probably not interested by then.

TC any news?

Thanks all! Im super excited. I was feeling torn but I feel more at peace that this is the right call.

My manager and skip level were both really happy for me. Their reaction was interesting. It was almost like they were trying to tell me to take it and run. Ive been hearing more whispers of major stuff happening behind the scenes, like a change of leadership coming soon and even discussions of cutting our benefits down to save the company money. My manager told me she might not be around in a few months if I did want to stick it out and take her job. And she made a comment that she hopes well get to work together again soon. Just lots of signals that things arent going well. Made me feel much better about my decision to go.

Blogfaqs but just wanted to update for those who followed the last topic lol

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DarkRoast posted...

You warned me lol. Somehow I thought I was going to be happy and bubbly and whatever, but apparently that's just not in my genes. I don't have a feminine ounce in my body. I should've been born male.

Im sorry to say it only gets worse over time. The last few weeks are miserable. But all your shitty symptoms instantaneous vanish when the baby is out so there is that.

Ive spoken to a number of women after I was pregnant that all admitted they hated pregnancy too. Its a well known secret not to scare others away or some fear they will be looked at badly for not feeling all warm and fuzzy about a being in their body shuffling their organs around and causing mayhem on you from the inside.

That looks fun! Maybe something you could when do with your kid. I have a hard time finding time for exercise these days but maybe should look into that. My daughter looooves to dance.

Also pregnancy is legitimately awful and more people need to be upfront about it. No one warned me. I hated being pregnant so much.

bsp77 posted...

You don't think that is a long time without a response? I don't think I have ever had anyone take that long when it turned into something.

14 hours includes a few hours they were asleep. Plus its a weekday. Are they at work?

Kazuma_Yagami posted...

Like 14 hours ago lol

Dude

How long ago was your text?

silverpine posted...

i dont hate them. i just find spending time with them boring

I always felt that way with other peoples kids. But theres something about seeing your own discover the world that is fascinating. You get to experience life again through their eyes. Every little milestone is exciting in its own way. Things you take for granted every day are interesting again. But then other kids bore me. Its weird.

People see a small glimpse of life with children in an environment that is typically stressful for them and bringing out their worst behavior. Then assume thats the norm all the time. Like theyll see a toddler throwing a tantrum at Walmart and think thats how all kids are all the time.

My 16 month old occasionally throws tantrums when were out and its easy to assume thats how she always is. But at home she is sweet, cuddly, funny, inquisitive, and yes throws a tantrum here and there that we have to be patient with. Theyre little humans with big feelings and emotions they arent yet equipped to process. But those last a few minutes here and there while shes otherwise fun and playful.

A couple of times on my brother when he was destroying things in the house and beating me and my mom. Once to report an erratic driver on the freeway.

lilORANG posted...

My kid can do "more" and it's adorable

Its so cute. That was the first one she learned. Again makes me laugh though. Shes making me take her stuffed animal to dance with her and then signals again over and over.

She be like
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/9/4/AALUUFAADR4u.jpg

Wordle 443 3/6*





Lucky guess

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/4/3/AAdXATAADoxj.jpg Handsome boy alert

Wordle 442 4/6*

My husband and I enjoyed it. Trolls need to move on. I didnt realize LoTR fanbase is as toxic as SW.

Some of the writing was a bit cheesy to me and I hate the Harfoots, but other than that Im excited for the rest. I loved the dwarves. I didnt think I would like Elrond based on the trailers but hes growing on me.

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Cocytus posted...

Get some melatonin. Amazon probably got it cheap.

IME melatonin helps put me to sleep. But I would still wake up in the middle of the night and often not be able to fall back asleep. I was like TC where my sleep was always broken up. The supplements I take now have helped me finally sleep through the night

Ive been taking liquid vitamin b12 and magnesium. Ive been noticing better sleep

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Kamen_Rider_Blade posted...

Good Luck!

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Thank you! Im excited.

After talking to my contact there, Ive signed the offer. I am making a calculated risk, but I think its the right move. They had nothing but great things to say. Maybe this is a dumb move but I think it will pay off over time.

Sackgurl posted...

then go for it, you've already assessed that the low end scenario isn't likely, and the time/money costs in the short term aren't a big hit

my experience with startups is usually nothing like this, the ones i've spoken to have been clear that i'd be looking at five years of hell for my payout, so i've generally not been interested even in the biggest payout return scenarios

if the workload is what you say, you're taking a small risk for a substantial probable return.

Yes I was surprised too. I have interviewed with many startups over the years. And they would all be clear about the workload being a lot, fast paced, etc. Ive always turned them down. This is the first one where they said work life balance is prioritized. Im talking later today to an employee I know there so I hear it from them directly to make sure.

This is the first one where I genuinely have a lot of faith that the product will succeed. Others Ive been meh about. And sure enough they havent gotten anywhere or IPOd but poorly. But I think they have something.

Sackgurl posted...

but how does it compare to your current workload?

certainly that is the upper end of the yield spectrum, so i pose this question to you: would that result in you living a significantly different life than you do now?

Id say same. But also in a way easier as well. My current company is overly bloated with processes that add on to our day to day.

And yeah if it paid off that would be huge for my family. Thats college money for my daughter, etc. Even if its just 1X at exit I would get my money back over time.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Girl, tell me about it. Theres a lot more but I didnt put it in the OP. She made comments to me like You know other managers could feel jealous that one of their reports are doing as well as you but I know the better you do the better I look. Then she got promoted

E_S_M_Z posted...

Honestly, I'd jump ship. Your current job sounds like misery.

But that's ONLY if you can get by with a 25K pay cut, at least for a number of years until they take off.
And of course they might not, but if their chances look good, it might be worth trusting it.

But that's it. If 25K is the difference between tearing your hair out racking up credit card debt and living comfortably, don't do it.

Financially we would be ok. We will cut services like house cleaning, lawn mowing, ordering food, etc

Sackgurl posted...

normally changing jobs yields a 15-20% pay increase

so really what you're looking at is the high risk effect of working for a startup. have you considered the other con of startups? you're going to be working way more hours

it's pretty much unavoidable, the reason startups give equity is so the people they ask to put in OT have skin in the game and a reason to actually bust their butts

personally, i'm already well established so i would never take such a job on, i don't need that kind of time->potential money exchange to meet my long term financial goals. and i think you're likely as well established as i am, so I'd be skeptical of the exchange's value

I went over their growth plans and current work load. Its reasonable. I talked to other start ups that were crazy though and walked away. One of them I felt would be too much. Heard after from friends that did join that it was 70-80 hours a week and when they IPOd the stock tanked. So Im aware of the risks involved.

I do think this company has a very good shot though. True its a gamble. If it pays out at 5X though I could be looking at half a mil in 4 years. Or could be worth as much as Monopoly money.

EndOfDiscOne posted...

25k on 200k+ is not that much. Surely you have a lot of extra income that youre investing. Do what you enjoy more.

Yeah I probably should have just put a percentage value instead of a number in my OP. Its about a 10% drop for me.

Interesting responses. My friends irl in the industry are telling me to go for it.

TaylorHeinicke posted...

IIRC you're in the six figure range, though I don't know by how much, but 25k seems like a massive step down, especially for a lateral move to a startup company with a ton of risk and basing the decision mostly on potential (with the product and opportunity for promotion - they may tell you there's tons of fast tracking and whatnot, but unless it's in writing, it's just a gamble).

Dropping by 25k would be an immediate no from me unless I made like 200k+.

I do make 200k+

As for interviewing elsewhere. Ive been trying. Been turned down 3 other times. All because they say I am missing some skills. Skills that I am asking to learn at my current company but am being refused. Thats why Im wondering if I should just bite the bullet and take the hit. My company pays above market so options are limited.

If it doesnt work out, I have connections at top companies too. Think one in every FAANG. I just hate those companies but if I ever am in a bind I have options.

Im also thinking that even though its a drop in pay for now, the skills I would gain would have value. They said they would have a 6 month growth plan for me so that gives me action items instead of hand waving. Maybe its a sacrifice for a couple of years but I would learn and take those skills elsewhere to make even more money over time. I could say the same about staying at this company but Im just not seeing opportunities coming any time soon. Ive asked leadership many times and ask about timelines and its maybe when someone leaves. My boss will never leave though shes a lifer.

Good thing we have solar

teep_ posted...

huge red flag right there. definitely a point in favour of making the move

Yup. When I found out is when I started actively applying. I even brought up wanting to work on projects to my skip level who said my manager has the and will be showing it to me and she would talk to her to make sure she does. Been a month and never happened.

But Im like maybe I should stop being ambitious, coast and collect my paycheck like every one else does. But it just goes against my nature. I dont feel happy.

CARRRNE_ASADA posted...

Hmm if the benefits are THAT good where you are then it might better to stay. Also if you're likely next to be promoted then I doubt youd be the first one to go if guillotines start dropping.

No I wont be let go. They will keep me but add on all the other peoples work that they do lay off. And still not promote me because no need for a manager now. Btdt at my previous company. That is why Im worried.

BuzzKilljoy posted...

If I had young kids I would stick with the job that had better pay and benefits. Sounds you change jobs relatively often and won't have an issue finding another opportunity if you get laid off.

I wont. Even with recruiting getting laid off now at many companies. Im not worried about job security. I have a good network if I ever needed it. But what I dont want is to be stuck doing the same thing forever. I want to get into management. I dont want to recruit forever. Ive made it clear when I joined my current company. Instead they have forced me to keep doing the same thing because Im a top performer. When I ask about additional projects, they lie and say there arent any and I should focus on filling the roles I have. I found out there is a whole project list that my boss purposely is hiding from me. She signed herself up for all of them lol

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Its not that I hate it so much as Im stuck and stagnating. Im not learning new skills. Im not growing career wise. I turned down my promotion at my other company to be here on the promise that they were growing and would help get where I want to be professionally. But now theyre telling me they dont know when that will be. My current boss is also junior. Im more experienced than her so I dont feel like I have good mentorship. She also is a bit of a micro manager and has a hard time letting go of things. They just want me to keep performing without developing me. Maybe I should be ok with that given the income and benefits. But I dont feel fulfilled. Im conflicted because I wonder if Id be selfish to take the other job when that money benefits my family.

emblem-man posted...

Any info on what the vesting timeline is for the stock options?

Monthly with a one year cliff, over 4 years. So need to be there one year at least and then it vests monthly which is pretty nice

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Total comp. The base would be higher than my current one. Theyre also offering about 100k worth of equity but thats not real money to me until an exit occurs. If it ever does.

Surprise twin ginger cats!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/8/7/AAdXATAADoGf.jpg

Some might remember my last topic. Well. I didnt get the job I interviewed for (which would have been a promotion in a sense). But they came back and essentially made me a lateral offer for the same thing I do now. But less money.

Pros:

• Its a much smaller company and team (series B startup). So they are saying that they can better train me to help me learn more leadership skills. Which I am not getting at my current company.
• Smaller companies mean fast track opportunity wise
• I like their product much better. I think they have a good future. Others in the industry have similar feelings that they will be big some day. They have big money backing them
• My current company scaled too much during Covid and I fear layoffs are coming. Our bonuses have already been cut and other measures have been taken to reduce certain benefits and slow down hiring. From what I hear from an internal leadership source, revenue from our product is going down to below pre-Covid levels. The writing is on the wall
• The culture seems more fun and laid back.

Cons

• Starting over once again. I am on track for promo here. My company claims its just timing and when they need another lead it will be me. But how long should I wait around? Ive been here one year now. They say its the market slow down so they dont foresee growth anytime soon
• Less money as mentioned. 25k less to be exact. But since our bonuses are trending down who knows if this will be that big of a gap
• The benefits arent as good. My family is on my current plan and its amazing
• Risk the startup doesnt take off and I am out of a job. I do get equity though so if it is successful I can get big bux

Thoughts?

TheOnionKnight posted...

You probably wouldn't get it if you haven't cultivated a very private and personal bubble for years. The logistics of planning a trip are beside the point. It's more about the mentality behind how you interpret your own independence, and what it would mean to involve other people in your life.

Sounds like its precisely because of the bubble as well as inexperience that people have an unrealistic perception of what independence looks like in a committed relationship.

bsp77 posted...

Well, you sound asexual, so that might be part of the apathy. But the desire for cuddling shows some interest in a partner.

Also, the limiting thing is not at all true if you find the right person. I plan trips and can do what I want, and my fiance appreciates that I figure it out. She knows I will plan a fun trip. I also get plenty of me time and friend time without her, as she wants her own time as well.

Yeah I dont get all of these posts about wanting to take trips whenever. Like are they going on trips every day? Its not much different to plan a trip with a spouse. Ive been going where I want and doing what I want. I go out with friends and my husband has never been bothered by it or asked me when Im coming home. I dont generally go out late (by choice) but when I do he just asks me if I had a good time.

Dating apps are a terrible way to find people but shy/introverted men will continue to rely on them because its most comfortable to them. I watched my female friend go through profiles on Hinge, and she passed over many decent looking men with good jobs, etc just cause.

Men who are successful with women go out of their way and out of their comfort zone. They learn to deal with rejection and continue to try. They try other methods like meet ups, striking up conversations, etc Which is commendable really. Dating is freaking hard. But many men who arent successful havent tried anything beyond what theyre comfortable with. Which is either nothing or hiding behind an app and hoping for the best.

Wordle 439 X/6*

I dont really have that with restaurants. I do with cakes though. I judge bakeries off their vanilla cake/cupcake. Most US bakeries are terrible at cakes. A good vanilla is usually a good indication they know what theyre doing without loading them with artificial stuff.