Lurker > PrivateBiscuit1

62. Fear (2023) (Starz)

Well, I have Starz since Shining Vale came back, so I figured I'd watch something from that. And I said what about this horror movie I never went out to see that came out earlier in the year? Btw, it sucks.

Fear is about a group of friends who go to a lodge during the pandemic and then they all have to confront their worst fears because of a witch curse or something.

Yeah, this movie is very bad. Just confusing and bad. I actually don't even know what they were thinking when they put this one together, because the script it really mediocre and messy and the rules are all unclear and I just do not get it.

The first thing that confuses me is why they factored the pandemic into this. There's a portion of this movie dedicated to people talking about the pandemic and being afraid of it and turning on each other over it. Why date your film like this when you aren't actually doing anything significant with it?

And they do that thing where they all take their turns talking about their biggest fear and some of them are kind of weird but the curse takes them all at face value and then makes them all happen. But then a lot of the deaths don't actually have anything to do with their actual fears? Like the claustrophobic guy bashes his skull off a sink until he dies.

And then the climax of this movie is about faith and Christianity which I have no problem with a lot of the time, but it just feels so weirdly out of place. Like the girl is like "I fear I'll lose my faith" but she's dying and it has nothing to do with her faith, and she is only able to escape because she starts reciting a verse... but her losing her faith wasn't what the curse was preying on? It's so weird.

Even more egregious is that the directing and editing here just sucks. I get what effects they're trying to do, but it just looks ugly. Like whenever they're all facing their fears, it's just muddy, blurry, and an ugly tint and I don't know how they put this together and said "This looks great." And the directing feels mostly uninspired and not really good? And they just do the most infuriating thing for me where they take a very subtle thing and then add a loud jump scare violin screech in there. Like a dude walks in the background and it's supposed to be creepy, but instead they throw in that stinger there and it's just annoying. There's just no sense of actual terror here and no subtlety, and that's a major reason it all falls flat is because it's just so ugly and in your face.

So yeah, Fear is not very good, and I don't really recommend it. You missed nothing by not checking this out in theaters.

Rating: 2.5/10

Well, if you pick up Netflix for just a month or get a free trial, it's absolutely worth checking out! From what I understand, Mike Flanagan is moving to an Amazon Prime exclusive deal, so we can get out fix there!

And let's do a round up before the final stretch! I think I've been watching too much good stuff and not enough crappy stuff. I almost feel like I need to bring more balance.

Horror Movie Marathon 2023 Ranking:

The Best of the Best:
The Fall of the House of Usher (TV Series) - 10/10
Jacob's Ladder (1990) - 10/10

Must Watch:
The Blackcoat's Daughter - 9.5/10
Chucky: Season 2 (TV Series) - 9.5/10
Pet Semetary (1989) - 9.5/10
Silence of the Lambs - 9.5/10
The Changeling (TV Series) - 9/10
Eden Lake - 9/10
Prey - 9/10
The Puppetman - 9/10
Rose Red (TV Series) - 9/10
Servant (TV Series) - 9/10
Slasher: Solstic (TV Series) - 9/10
The Boogeyman - 8.5/10
Cobweb - 8.5/10
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives - 8.5/10
The Honeymoon (2014) - 8.5/10
No One Will Save You - 8.5/10
Totally Killer - 8.5/10

Great:
The Autopsy of Jane Doe - 8/10
Carrie (1976) - 8/10
Fear Street Part One: 1994 - 8/10
Fear Street Part Two: 1978 - 8/10
Red Eye - 8/10
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark - 8/10
V/H/S 85 - 8/10
Appendage - 7.5/10
Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter - 7.5/10
Gerald's Game - 7.5/10
Jagged Mind - 7.5/10
The Last Shift - 7.5/10
Mimic (1997) - 7.5/10
School Spirits (TV Series) - 7.5/10
There's Something Wrong With The Children - 7.5/10
Hell House LLC II: The Abaddon Hotel - 7/10
The Mill - 7/10

Pretty Good:
The House on Sorority Row - 6.5/10
The Last Matinee - 6.5/10
No One Gets Out Alive - 6.5/10
Scream 3 - 6.5/10
Till Death - 6.5/10
Veronica - 6.5/10
Frozen - 6/10
Hell House LLC - 6/10
Night of the Hunted (2023) - 6/10
Bloodthirsty - 5.5/10

Below Average:
The People Under the Stairs - 5/10
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood - 4.5/10
Spirit Halloween - 4.5/10
Unhuman - 4.5/10
The Doll (2016) - 3.5/10
Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire - 3.5/10
Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey - 3.5/10
At the End of Eight - 3/10
Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning - 3/10
The Hoarder - 3/10
The Possession - 3/10
The Woods - 3/10

Trash:
The Friendship Game - 2.5/10
Beneath - 2/10
The Grudge 3 - 2/10
Requiem for a Scream - 2/10
The Eye - 1.5/10

61. The Fall of the House of Usher (TV Series) (Netflix)

I almost forgot to review this, but I finished it yesterday! And Mike Flanagan once again puts out a complete masterpiece.

The Fall of the House of Usher is about a curse that will wipe out the entire Usher family that is at the top of the medical empire, all framed around Edgar Allen Poe stories.

I think we all know just how incredible Mike Flanagan is by now. He's a very, very outstanding director and has a vision I don't think many have. He can turn these grim and dark horror films and stories and find the beauty in them. He creates characters that are layered and you become personally attached to them. I don't know that there's anyone better than Mike Flanagan when it comes to horror right now.

And this show is definitely up there. A complete love letter to Edgar Allen Poe. As someone who loved Poe for a long while, I was hooked. The way he weaved these stories with a modern edge was incredible. That I knew how they all ended, and seeing how they played out in a different way was something truly special. I don't know there's anyone else that could pull it off so masterfully.

I could name the cast, but there's just so many people I'd have to make. Most individual actors have been a contributor with Mike Flanagan in the past, and Bruce Greenwood takes the focus. This story is ultimately about his character, Roderick Usher, and he was the replacement. It's impossible to imagine it being this good without him. I just can't dedicate the time to talk about everyone else individually, but it feels like he deserves mentioning because of what a blow away job he does in the whole show.

There are so many themes in this story too that are explored from many different angles. And they take their time with them. Nothing overstays its welcome, and it keeps being interesting. The fact they could dedicate one episode each to telling the story of one Usher sibling and how they would meet their demise with their own cautionary tale from it is so good.

All I can say is to watch this. Enormous recommend. For me, this is up there with Hill House and Midnight Mass in terms of Mike Flanagan's best. I don't know that I can choose which of these three I like the most, but they all hold a special place with me, and I can't wait to see what Flanagan gives us next.

Rating: 10/10

Cobweb is on Hulu now! And I loved it! My thoughts on my marathon thread, but I thought it was awesome and worth checking out! I was shocked this was the first major release from this director, because it was just so well done.

60. Cobweb (Hulu)

A movie that was very unfortunately buried by Barbenheimer, but not because of it's great quality.

Cobweb is about a child with absolutely strange parents who are overprotective and abusive, and one day he starts hearing a girl speaking to him from behind his bedroom wall that starts to give him advice.

So this was released the same weekend of Barbenheimer and got no promotion or advertisement, and I get why. It was a movie that was on The Black List for a while, they had a debuting director on it, and there's a choice in this movie that is very good, but I imagine any studio exec being terrified to put it out in theaters in a significant fashion.

All of that being said, Cobweb rules and new director Samuel Bodin is outstanding in this and is absolutely someone to look out for. The way he can weave such tension and terrifying and chilling moments in this is so great you'd think he's had a few major releases under his belt. Shockingly impressive. You can tell this guy knows what he's doing, and I'm excited to see what he does next.

The concept in general is haunting as well. A little boy with a hard life being convinced something worse will happen unless he listens to the only person nice to him that's in his wall of all things. You can empathize with him, especially as the story goes on. But even then, you always have some doubt or worry. Is he making the right choices? IS there a right choice to make? You can't help but think as the story goes on who the bigger threat is in that house.

Anthony Starr and Lizzy Caplan do an outstanding job as the creepiest parents you've ever seen. We all know how good Anthony Starr is at being intimidating while putting on a front of friendliness if you've seen the hit The Boys. Lizzy Caplan also fills her role very well after watching her in Castle Rock as an adaptation of Annie Wilkes (a show I'd like to watch for this at some point too). These two do such a good job really ratcheting up the danger without outright saying it for the most part.

And of course, while we get into our last act and everything unravels, it's done so amazingly well. It's hard to be disappointed in it. I don't want to spoil too much, but the name of the film is very apt and takes full advantage of the idea. I freaking love the way the last act plays out. And it took me until the last moments of the movie to realize I've been watching a twisted fairy tale this whole time. Just a strange Grimm's Fairytale story, and I love that about it.

Cobweb is great, and I'm sad it got buried. I hope it becomes a huge hit now that it's on Hulu. I recommend everyone check it out! I was very impressed!

Rating: 8.5/10

59. Fear Street Part Two: 1978 (Netflix)

We're up to the second part of this trilogy, and it feels wildly different!

Fear Street 2 focuses mostly on a summer camp massacre in 1978, in which we learn more LORE about Fear Street.

I continue to be fascinated at how ambitious this trilogy felt. You get a movie that manages to be a full on prequel, giving you further context to the previous movie, exploring other older characters so effectively, and adding onto the story in such an interesting way.

This is absolutely inspired by the old 70's and 80's summer camp slashers we all have seen, and it does it rather well. It pays homage to them all in such an effective way, while feeling very fresh as well.

It is such a smart film that keeps you on your toes as you wonder what's going to happen. It's such a fun movie that never lets you feel safe. Someone can die at any point, the killer can be right around the corner, and what insane BS are we going to find to expand on the LORE?

Sadie Sink and Emily Rudd do great jobs as our dual leads here. Their characters and separate yet intertwining stories are really interesting and adds to the heart of the film up to the climax. They managed to make these characters deep, fun, and likable.

I feel like I love this movie in different ways than I love the first film. Some things I like more in this one, while I like other things more in the second. I recall liking these more than the third entry though, which I didn't dislike, but I just remember thinking these were much stronger films.

I'll finish off the last of this trilogy here soon, but I am really enjoying revisiting it and loving them all over again!

Rating: 8/10

58. Carrie (1976) (Max)

It has been ages since I saw this one last. My immediate thought was "They MUST have heavily edited the beginning of this movie in syndication, right?"

Carrie is about a girl who gets bullied and gets psychic powers, and then they mess with her at prom and it goes bad. Guys, it's Carrie. We all knows Carrie.

So I've always really enjoyed this movie, but there were many questions I had. Did boyfriends and teachers really just smack the shit out of girls and did the girls just barely care and act like it was no big deal? Did proms always have a live band? Did people really used to just drink beer while driving? Did high school girls really just walk around naked in the gym locker room? Why is John Travolta so mean? Are buckets truly this lethal? Why is there so much sadism towards pig violence?

It really is a movie that shows it's age, but I still think it holds up very well! The overall story is simple enough that any bizarreness from being made almost 50 years ago is easily ignored.

The way this movie makes you feel really endeared to Carrie is impressive. You just feel bad and root for this girl, even when you know what's going to happen. Her home life sucks, her school life sucks, and she seems to absolutely love any bit of kindness that she's given. Sissy Spacek does a tremendous job in this one.

It's an easy story to enjoy though. The fanatical Christian values of her mother to the prayer closet, to the high school life we've all experienced, and the bullying that would happen constantly, and then the absolute insanity that happens come prom time. And boy do they ever build up this pig's blood. They want all of the height of tension on that thing, almost to the point I was like "Alright, we can dump this bucket already." But once the mayhem starts, it's so jarring. Just a shocking turn that you go from all this children stuff to just murder and destruction. I sort of love the way they manage to make that feel so stark in comparison to the rest of the film. The conclusion with her mother is very effective to close everything off, with plenty of theming thrown in.

I remember always liking this version of Carrie the most, but I'd have to re-watch the remake I guess to decide if I like it more. But it's still an extremely strong movie that's worth checking out if you've never seen the original before. It's just such a classic movie with a classic plot that's tightly written and does pretty much everything right.

Rating: 8/10

v_charon posted...

I put Night of the Hunted on my list to watch of course; I would like to definitely knock out all of Shudder's 2023 releases before the end of this year. My main goal for my 2023 horror rankings projects is to finish the following:

1) All Major Theatrical releases (on pace, none missed)
2) All Limited Theatrical releases (going to need to rely on Amazon Prime for some of these)
3) All Netflix/Shudder films (this is going fairly well, still a little behind with Shudder but making dents thanks to the Roku box)
4) All Hulu/Prime available films (free with subscriptions)

Beyond that, I don't have a ton of hope I can get through the films available on Tubi. I added it on the Roku but we've yet to try it out yet. Of the films on there, I might see a couple worth checking out but a ton of them look really, really bad. There's also a host of films that are on Prime, but require a one time purchase. I'll probably look at some of these that strike my interest (a few limited theatricals are on here, as well as things like Devilreaux which have actors I like in them).

I know seeing them all is impossible now, but I think the goals I have are still somewhat possible at least.

Good luck friend. It's a very difficult undertaking you set yourself on! You seem to be going at a good pace!

Yeah man, I dunno. It may be an issue with your save. That's really weird. I've only encountered barely any issues.

UshiromiyaEva posted...

I disliked the gadget wheel so much in the first game I just did not use gadgets at all in my entire playthrough.

I haven't had any plot issues thus far, but a lot of the, like....the major dialogue is fine, I think the dialogue in a lot of these sidequests is....embarrasing? Like the way characters would talk in an after school special before some creep tried to sell them drugs. Absolutely zero chemistry across the board.

I just finished all the optional Coney Island things and I think I hate all these characters now lol. The way the characters at Miles' school talked in all those sidequests made me want to uninstall.

Yeah, the Brooklyn Visions sidequests all kind of sucked. A couple lines got a chuckle out of me. I just powered through all of them as quick as I could. I do appreciate Spider-Man doing casual helping random folks stuff, but these scenarios didn't really do it for me.

I don't know how the Coney Island stuff made you hate everyone though. I thought that part of the game was awesome. Really helped flesh out the relationships there.

57. Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (Tubi)

After watching this movie, I have no clue why this is actually called Lake of Fire.

Hell House LLC 3 is about a new crew of people hosting an immersive event, and the subsequent haunting and murders that follow, and uninteresting LORE.

From what I understand, the second movie was created with the third movie already plotted out. But the third movie doesn't seem like it really had anything to say for the majority of it. Just really confusing that this was made how it was. A really true attempt to close off the trilogy but just... doesn't land and introduces too much while not taking enough from the previous films?

Like I can't stress enough just how boring this was. They replaced creepy BS with more and more people talking. And they don't stop talking. And I don't care about anything they talk about. I just wanted them to stop talking and get back to creepy shit.

But there's maybe one scene that actually was done really well. Just a subtle little thing that worked extremely well. And then the ending where a massacre happens... but it isn't nearly as good or interesting as the original, and it feels a lot more rushed. And then the conclusion just happens in a blink and you'll miss it scene.

I dunno. It feels like they wanted an intriguing mystery in this one and it didn't land. And they focused on that more than delivering something scary or creepy. Like it seriously felt like anything scary took a backseat to this doofy story they wanted to tell, and that sucks. Serious step down from the second film, to say the least, and even a big step down from the original.

I don't even think if you watched the first two this one is really worth watching, because it feels so nothing of a film that doesn't really do anything well with the idea and does such a poor job wrapping everything up that it hardly feels like a worthy ending to the trilogy.

So not a very good movie. But I guess we'll see if they can bring it back around with this upcoming prequel movie. Expect a review of that here soon.

Rating: 3.5/10

UshiromiyaEva posted...

I have noooooo idea why they put the bike minigame (the optional one, not the story one) in here though. Absolutely terrible.

I beat this on the first try no problem. Lol

I'm loving it so far. I personally loved the gadget wheel and I'm very disappointed it's been reduced, but it feels like the combat is pretty different this time to justify it. Trying to get that web gadget though.

I have run into only two glitches or bugs so far. The first one was that there was no voice acting for one scene. Not sure why. But luckily it wasn't important and was just a transition scene. I also had the game crash after a major scene for some reason. Aside from that, I haven't really run into issues.

A couple plot things bugged me a bit, but I'm enjoying everything overall. Harry is a delight and he and Peter really come across as very close friends. I really just enjoy this little universe a lot.

I watched Night of the Hunted yesterday and wrote about it on my marathon topic. Summary is that it was fine. Not really interesting, but Camilla Rowe kind of carried it. Not anything worth going out of your way to watch unless you want to hear about someone talking about CURRENT DAY a lot, but then you can probably just go on Twitter or Reddit.

56. Night of the Hunted (2023) (Shudder)

This is fine.

Night of the Hunted is about a girl that goes into a gas station, but a sniper is playing with her from outside with intent to kill.

There is a lot of talking here, and not really much interesting going on. Just some crazy sniper trying to justify killing people with CURRENT DAY talking points taking up a lot of it. Which would be fine, but it feels like an online conversation I don't ever need to see again. And it never really gets too interesting until one point happens where I assume they're meant to make a point over it but it feels... kinda grim by the time we get to the end. Especially since there's a ton of ambiguity there as to what would happen.

The actual sniper stuff is probably the more interesting thing here, and the girl's attempts to save herself. But then it's very unclear when he's actually trying to kill her or is just... not? So it kind of takes out some of the tension there. Just very conflicting stuff.

I don't know, this movie interested me when I first saw the trailer but it probably shouldn't have. The acting from Camilla Rowe was pretty great for this film, so I need to give her props there. She was good in Deep House too (where she wasn't chomping on a scuba mask). But I should probably give it to her for carrying this film.

So to sum up, the content and dialogue didn't really do it for me. I didn't really care. But the acting from Rowe and the certain scenarios they did with her trying to evade the sniper were unique enough to keep me engaged for the most part. Probably not worth going out of your way to watch, but it's definitely passable.

Rating: 6/10

55. The Woods (Showtime)

I watched this movie and I felt so empty like "Why did I watch this?"

The Woods is about a girl who goes to an all girl school in some woods and then creepy stuff happens and girls die or go missing and vines are everywhere.

This movie is completely forgettable. You've seen the all-girl school obvious witches thing before. And it's just so uninspired.

The good is that some vine stuff is cool, but then that's so overused in the movie that by the end it all was so predictable and I just didn't care about the vines.

And the budget must have went into these vines because the rest of it was ROUGH. Awful editing here, mediocre effects.

Bruce Campbell is in this movie and it feels like he was the only beacon of light here. He was corny and funny and then somehow I think they wrote him to have a bigger part in the script late game because it feels so out of place in the story that he ends up helping in a major way.

This is from the same director as May, a movie I also didn't like very much. And he also did All Cheerleaders Must Die or whatever, so I have very low hopes overall. This movie feels every bit the mid 00's and it just doesn't land at all.

Uninspired story, unlikeable characters, tired plots, VINE OVER USAGE, and just a boring, bland story that plods along with no end in sight. I don't understand this film. And I didn't like it. I think Bruce Campbell is the only thing decent about it, along with some vines.

I am saying vines way too much in this review so I'm stopping it here.

Rating: 3/10

Snake5555555555 posted...

Damnnnn I haven't seen Honeymoon in ages, I fucking loved that movie when I first saw it.

It holds up! I think I've somehow seen it four times now.

Also don't expect much today. It's Spider-Man 2 day. But I do have one write up and a movie I'm watching while it downloads!

I just had the most bizarre GameStop trip ever.

I went there to pick up my fully paid for game, he asks if I want to renew my membership because I have gamer points or whatever and I say sure, okay. I can do that. And then somehow I have a case of Red Bull and $7 and change he's handing me as a bonus for the renewal and the left over points.

I think I understand why GameStop is having financial issues.

Yeeeeah took the day off today to play this, this continuing my Arkham/Spidey tradition of leaving a full day for these games. Picking it up here soon.

Six episodes in and this could be the best thing that Flanagan has put out. If it isn't, it's at least up there with his best stuff. Loving the modern takes on Edgar Allen Poe stuff. Just such a creative, fun, intriguing show.

v_charon posted...

I had a ton of issues with it. I guess I'll speak pretty openly about it since it's a fairly older movie at this point.

I think my main issues stem from how the main character is presented. She's able to coldly murder a heroic drifter who saved a man from drowning at the risk of his own life, but for some reason she starts to feel bad because she lured a deformed virgin to his demise? Then she decides she wants to become human (I'm making assumptions here since the film has a great lack of dialogue to confirm it), but she's unable to consume human food. She presumably starts to develop actual feelings of attachment to a man, but they are unable to copulate because of the... well, skin suit.

Where I'm going is that now she's sexually assaulted by a trucker and by slaying her, he's sort of like the hero of the day? It almost felt like glorifying a rapist, and I can't get why they'd go with that. Maybe at this point we're supposed to actually like the protagonist, but again, she murdered innocent people. Yeah some were horndogs but that isn't a crime; she lured each and every one of the men to their deaths on purpose and once the man wasn't even really interested in sex or with her. So I'm still not really caring about her just because she finally felt guilty and then tried to love someone; by me still viewing her as a villain, I have to look at this sleazy sexual offender as the hero who finally vanquished the monster. Just yuck.

Hopefully tonight's film will be better; it will be Clock, on Hulu.

I think you've got a lot of it right.

It's an allegory for immigrants, and the struggle to blend in with people. I think you're supposed to slowly come around on her because she starts to develop more empathy and feels like she wants to find her place in this world, but she is forced to consume these men to survive, and she's slowly coming around on the idea that what she's doing is actually awful. And when showing that while she violates men by doing what she's done, she can be violated just as much. It's kind of a downer story where it's just saying there's ugliness on both sides. You're not meant to feel comfortable about ScarJo or the man at the end, and you're just supposed to look at the ugliness of it all.

I appreciate it more for the visuals than anything else, and I do think the story gets pretty messy and sloppy. I enjoyed it more than I disliked it though, but I can understand not enjoying it even a little bit.

54. The Honeymoon (2014) (Peacock)

This is a movie I've wanted to review for this for a while! It's one I really enjoy!

The Honeymoon is about a couple on a honeymoon at a lake. Things get strange though when the husband finds his wife sleep walking in the woods one night, and she starts acting increasingly different.

So this is a slow burn movie by Leigh Janiak, who has also done the Fear Street Trilogy. But it's one that just nails everything I want from one.

Rose Leslie and Harry Treadaway star in this, and it's very much an intimate look at this couple that goes in an unexpected direction. Harry does an awesome job as a husband that is just progressively more confused and worried about his ailing wife. And Rose just sells the more bizarre behavior so god damn well.

This movie has a lot of subtlety to it and tons of foreshadowing. It just slowly takes you along the story to a point where you know something is extremely wrong, and then you just watch this very intimate and realistic horror of what's happening. It keeps it nice and tidy between this couple the whole time, and it doesn't need to expand beyond that. It shows you precisely as much as it ever needs to. It's a story that is entirely about this couple's relationship more than anything else. And yet, there's some moments here that just creep me the hell out as well.

I also love the conclusion to this movie. You watch the climax of the movie play out in shock, in such a simple way. Another close, intimate moment between the couple that simply closes off their story. A terrifying little moment that grounds you and reminds you of what this couple once had. It's a movie I could talk about a lot.

I greatly enjoy this film and the subtle nuances of the whole thing. If you peer closer, you get a ton out of it. As I mentioned, it's a bit slow, but absolutely worth it if you immerse yourself in the story and the couple. Big recommend from me!

Rating: 8.5/10

I get it! I thought it had a lot of style and unsettling imagery, but it's certainly a very strange film. Some of the scenes have really stuck with me though, and I appreciate it for that at least.

Shining Vale is back! It is 100% worth a Starz subscription to watch. The first episode of season 2 had me laughing out loud so much. Definitely one of the best horror comedies out there!

And I also started the second season of Shining Vale! Absolutely hilarious and just outstanding horror comedy starring Courtney Cox and Greg Kinnear. I reviewed it very highly before, and the second season already starts off with outstanding quality. The way I laughed out loud so hard at points is a testament to how great this show is. If you want a great comedy horror to watch, I don't know that you can do much better than Shining Vale. Absolutely worth going out of your way to watch!

And I was finally able to start The Fall of the House of Usher. I probably don't need to tell anyone that this show is awesome so far. Finished three episodes so far though.

53. The Changeling (TV Series) (Apple TV+)

I am so unbelievably conflicted about this series, but I think overall it's just gorgeous and deserves a watch.

The Changeling is about a black couple's blooming relationship. After the girl returns from a vacation, all of her dreams come true and she starts a family with a book trader. But things soon become dark after she gets everything she wants, and she's convinced that it isn't what it seems.

So I finally got to finish this series, and I was so excited for the finale and I'm frustrated, and I don't know how fair it is to be frustrated, and I think I need to just grade it without thinking about the actual finale's ending. And that is simply because this was built with two seasons in mind, as revealed by the showrunner after this episode aired. And because of that, the finale was not very satisfying as a conclusion and just leaves you with so many questions unanswered going into the next season.

And believe me, you'll have a lot of questions. This show is all about mystery. It's framed like a fairy tale, and it certainly feels like a twisted one. The story itself is jaw-droppingly original. Totally over the moon for how interesting and just strange everything feels. And it's something I couldn't predict anything about at all. Some truly horrific thing happens there and I was just shocked, and then it just keeps escalating this bizarre story with more frankly fantastical things, and it's all so intriguing.

And the directing is just outstanding. Everything I described above, the directing is also in service of it. It's directed like a dream. An impossibility of things that simultaneously feels very real. It feels intimate, and raw, and just knows when to make things feel fantastic, terrifying, and unnervingly real.

LaKeith Stanfield is our lead, and he is just great. The bevy of emotions he goes through in this series and the way he's able to endear people to him is outstanding. In the same way, Clark Backo plays his wife and we see such an incredible descent into madness and depression from her after seeing her be so cheerful, and she has next to no acting credits to her name, so it's stunning she's so good. And Adina Porter plays a big role too, and they even dedicate an entire episode to her as well, which is a very strong episode too.

That said, there's a bit of a pacing issue here too. We leave off on one episode with an enormous reveal and cliffhanger, and then they proceed to leave us there to do two full episodes of flash backs. While those are both absolutely great episodes and I like them a lot, but we don't pick back up until the finale. And I kind of wish they had paced that just a little bit better somehow.

And while I speak negatively about some aspects, let it be known that for these 7 episodes out of 8, I was totally in love with the series. It's just the finale that kind of leaves a sour taste in your mouth, because we need to all collectively pray this gets a second season to see the rest of the story. Apple TV is usually good about that, and it's been doing good numbers from what I can tell, so I think we'll get another season out of it.

I think anyone would love this show when they start to watch it. The good parts are so amazingly good, and the story is so uniquely told that I love you can't get a show like this anywhere else. However, I can imagine reservation of people not being willing to check it out until we get a second season confirmed. But I'd love for people to check out this show still, because it feels very special.

Rating: 9/10

52. The Blackcoat's Daughter (Max)

I absolutely did not expect a freaking masterful movie like this. Blown away.

The Blackcoat's Daughter is about two girls who are leftover at a female-only boarding school, and there appears to be a force looming there.

It's very hard to really talk about this story without spoiling it. But it essentially tells two stories at once that end up being related. But man, this movie is just so technically incredible and the screenplay is just meticulously written. Oz Perkins just created something amazing here, and I'm disappointed he isn't creating more stuff. He's also done I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (which I was disappointed by) and Gretel & Hansel (which I was confused by). But this is easily his best piece of work.

Kiernan Shipka, Lucy Boylant, and Emma Roberts are the leads and do such a good job here. Their performances are so subtle and just awesome. You can watch this movie multiple times and I'm sure you'd notice something new each time just from their performances alone. I was blown away by the quality of their acting here.

It's a slow movie. A very slow movie. But it's so worth it as things begin to unravel and reveal themselves. It's a film that takes its time with every scene and lets it breathe so you can take it all in. And when you begin to see the absolutely twisted story play out, and you understand everything, it makes every slow scene worth it, and you can re-think every scene back with the new context and discovery why they played out like that.

I thought this would be a breezy watch, but it ended up being one of my absolute favorite things I've watched so far this year. Phenomenal film, and I recommend everyone checks it out because it is just a marvel in every way.

Rating: 9.5/10

He was loved by the FGC, and it was easy to see why since he always seemed like a funny dude. That's such a shame.

Nah, Under the Skin definitely qualifies as horror. It's just extremely aggressively strange and has a lot of abstract storytelling. You'll either like it or hate it.

I gave it a 7/10 when I watched it.

I watched Loki Season 1 a couple months after release and thought it was completely boring until the last couple episodes. I just wasn't entertained at all or interested in the overall story. They managed to bring it around though by the end.

51. Unhuman (Amazon Prime)

Man, I don't even know with this one at all. Just a strange movie that feels so messy.

Unhuman is about a group of high schoolers that are going on a field trip, but a zombie attack makes forces them to try and survive.

So I will start with compliments. I think this movie has a lot of heart to it. I think there's a solid idea in here, but it's just so bizarrely executed. And I enjoyed a lot of the set pieces here. The make up and effects were very good. And I did not expect to hear one of my favorite bands, Nico Vega, in a 2022 movie.

But this movie is very messy, and those things I mentioned above carry it hard. The movie tries a lot of humor, but it's just not funny. It just isn't. I didn't think a single joke was amusing, and that's crazy.

The plot also has a twist in the middle that just goes so outrageously far and really pushed my suspension of disbelief to its breaking point. The twist and the explanation goes on for a LONG time and it becomes more and more absurd by the moment. But even then, most of the emotional beats worked somehow. But there's just so much in here that really doesn't work.

There is a lot of style to this movie though, but it's in service to a movie that is frankly not great. This is something that made a lot of sense when I realized the director was Marcus Dunstan, who did the Collector franchise. Like, I would have loved this directing style in a better movie.

So I won't say it's not worth watching entirely, if you want to see style over substance, or you like the director. But it's not a good movie, and there's a lot better you can do here.

Oh and they put an end credits scene here too like this is ever getting a sequel or it NEEDED an end credits scene. What in the world?

Rating: 4.5/10

50. Appendage (Hulu)

What a fucking weird movie this was. I liked it though for the most part.

Appendage is about a fashion designer who is struggling to cope with her life that has an appendage growing out of her. She joins a group to help deal with that.

My memory is a little more fuzzy on this one because I just haven't had any time to a write up for this in a couple days. But I thought this movie was mostly good. Just a strange, strange movie that I didn't take very seriously a lot of the time, and it's easy to enjoy it then.

There's at least one scene in particular that I thought was exceptionally creepy, but it almost felt out of place with the rest of the movie.

Overall, I do like it all as an allegory for self-doubt and overcoming your anxieties and believing in yourself, even if it's kind of goofy at times. I thought it did a very good job with those themes and managed to wrap everything up nicely. The ending, in particular, was a good cap to all of that. I can't really talk about a lot of what I want to talk about without getting into spoilers, but this is very much a movie worth spoiling.

It's a movie I'd say is worth checking out if you are looking for something very weird, kinda goofy, but overall strong messaging. It definitely stood out and felt very personal to the writer/director, and I have to give it props for being as bold as it was.

Rating: 7.5/10

I will be back to this today. I just had a huge work thing keeping me from watching any horror stuff. Already watching an awful horror movie right now in the comfort of my own home!

v_charon posted...

Totally Killer was awesome.

Yeeeeeah Totally Killer love. More people should watch Totally Killer!

I have a write up to do about Appendage soon.

But Southwest has no horror movies for this flight lol what?

Busy day today, but I ended up getting pretty hooked on the new Goosebumps series and have been watching that! The first five episodes are on Hulu and Disney+.

It's actually pretty outstanding. It's serialized, but with new takes on the classic stories. And the main characters are all in high school, so it all comes across as fresh, and they manage to make a lot of stuff legitimately scary.

Also they are hyping up the appearance of Slappy so hard I kinda love it.

I recommend it a lot! It feels wildly different from any other Goosebumps thing out there and it's done extremely well!

I'll watch a movie here tonight though. I have a ton of work stuff the next couple days though, so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to watch.

I watched the first two episodes of the new Goosebumps series. I was surprised at how good it was.

The way it's set up is that it's a bunch of high schoolers who find something from the Goosebumps books at a mansion at a party and have to deal with the aftermath of it. But they essentially mix an overarching story with a completely different retelling of a story with the Goosebumps gimmicks. Like the camera from Say Cheese and Die and the Haunted Mask all essentially do the same thing, but it's a completely new story surrounding them based on the same characters in the series. It feels a lot more mature than the other Goosebumps outings because they're high schoolers rather than children.

Oh, and they got Justin Long, Rachael Harris, and Rob Huebel in it too, who are all great.

But overall, they actually manage to make the series pretty creepy and scary and it has some good drama and humor in it too. No complaints!

49. Fear Street Part 1: 1994 (Netflix)

I was always looking forward to re-watching this series. I really loved it a lot!

Fear Street 1994 is about a group of kids who accidentally awaken a curse that sends serial killers throughout their town's history to come and kill them, and they must survive them!

There's something that feels very special about the Fear Street series. I think the most tragic part about it is that the pandemic ruined something potentially revolutionary. The trilogy was created in mind to release the three entries within months of each other. It's an idea that I think would have probably worked. They're great movies, they've got some really good lead-ins to one another, and they make you want to see each installment of the series. Releasing them so soon one after another ensures people are engaged enough to want to see the next. Unfortunately, the pandemic happened and ravaged theaters for long enough that they had to release the series weekly on Netflix. Still cool, but this could have been a special release that may have had other series trying the same thing.

But this movie is great. It's a vicious movie that doesn't hold back. The kills are pretty awesome and it has a rather compelling plot through the whole thing. The idea is awesome too. Serial killers in the same town running around and trying to kill our protagonists is great. And all of them are unique and fight in different ways. And the teenagers in this movie feel like actual teenagers in a rough town, and they hit issues that may otherwise be taboo as well.

Leigh Janiak directs this whole trilogy, who I learned directed Honeymoon--a movie I've wanted to re-watch for a while because I really enjoyed it! Very different style, but I think that Janiak does a great job with the presentation of this. So many shots are outstanding and really deliver the fear factor here.

It also makes some very bold choices with the narrative that I'm a little bit equal parts disappointed by but intrigued by as well. Like it's hard to be disappointed by this series, and especially this entry. It's such a great movie and I love the way that each of these movies, despite being a trilogy, really feel like that one story has come to a conclusion.

If you haven't checked out this trilogy. I think you definitely should. It's really awesome and word is they're trying to make another one, which I think will be great. Bless R.L. Stein for delivering us these fun series for so long.

Rating: 8/10

48. The Hoarder (Tubi)

I have seen this movie poster so many times and never actually bothered to watch this. But I figured I watched something outstanding last, so I can afford to watch something that probably sucks! It did.

The Hoarder is about a woman who wants to check out her fiance's storage locker. But there's a storage killer afoot!

So this was bad. That's all, really. The worst part was that Robert Knepper somehow got wrapped into this, and he's leagues above acting-wise to anyone else. Knepper is such a legend. I don't know why he just hasn't really been in much lately or when he is, it's crap like this that feels beneath him.

But it just has a bunch of weirdos that Knepper and the lead tolerate while they get picked off one by one by random BS that's in these storage lockers. It's not nearly witty or fun enough, and the humor just never lands. Not even once. It's all just an idea that feels half baked and I couldn't bring myself to care about anything in it.

I don't know what to say. It's just not good and it's a pretty mediocre slasher movie that could probably be better in someone else's hands, but it's clear that the vision wasn't there to make this halfway decent.

Rating: 3/10

Hey guys, The Puppetman came out on Shudder. This is by the same director who did Still/Born and Z, both awesome films. And this is his best movie yet. I have more thoughts in my marathon topic, but I think this movie is definitely one to go out of your way to watch!

47. The Puppetman (Shudder)

Holy shit this movie came out of nowhere and was AWESOME.

The Puppetman is about a girl whose father felt compelled to murder her mother. But when her roommate notices her sleep walking habits, it's clear that something from her past has returned to her.

So let me first say that Brandon Christiansen is an outstanding director. This guy has done Still/Born and Z, both films that I think are both tremendous and creative. Like easy 8+/10 movies. I still need to re-watch Z for this one. But Christiansen put out his best film yet, easy.

The Puppetman pulls no punches and is just completely fucking brutal. There are scenes here I can't believe he pulled off on his budget. Like this comes across as a blockbuster release with how good a lot of this feels.

The characters are all great too. Each of them feel fleshed out and serve the story rather well. I think the lead actress, Alyson Gorske, did an outstanding job. But I really loved watching all of these people interact, and it felt very natural.

The script helps with this, because it's freaking great. Just a really strong script that there's just a long time in this movie where nobody has died or anything and when I noticed I didn't even mind it, because it's such a tight script.

And the Puppetman is tremendous too. I want to see a sequel to this somehow because I think this concept and everything around it just rules. I don't want to give away too much, but it really delivers something great with this idea. While it's not fully original, but feels actualized extremely well.

For the last part of this movie, it's nuts. I couldn't believe how tense and gripping it was. And then the conclusion felt actually really good too.

I don't know if everyone will like The Puppetman as much as I did, but I thought it was completely awesome. Just a strong, strong movie, and I can't wait to see what Brandon Christiansen comes up with next, because he always delivers. Go out of your way to watch The Puppetman! On Shudder, now!

Rating: 9/10

46. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (Max)

This not HIS DAY, but I started it last night and was too exhausted to finish it, so he gets this one anyway.

Part VII is about a psychic girl resurrecting Jason from the bottom of Camp Crystal Lake and he comes back to murder everyone.

You know what the Friday the 13th franchise never needed? A psychic. You know what we got? A psychic. But in honesty, I think I enjoyed this one a little more than I probably should, given the consensus is this one sucks. And let me tell you, it does kinda suck, but it's nowhere near A New Beginning.

This one at least has more of a plot to it and there's more investment in stakes given how badass Jason is as a killer zombie fella now. You have the doctor trying to induce the psychic's powers, her mother being protective, the psychic girl befriending A BOY, and him not being into the debauchery of the rest of his friends that aren't even there for him. There's stuff there.

But I don't particularly think many kills are great except for one with a sleeping bag. It as a couple more chuckles from the jokes, but it's such a let down after Part VI was so good. Legitimately, they ripped away what made Jason so great in that one, which was just rampaging through anyone and everyone. Scaling it back to just teenagers in the woods again makes it so much weaker to me. Not to mention there's not really a ton of action here, Jason is a lot less emotive here, and his broken mask makes him seem less cool?

Of course, the mask being removed entirely is also not a great look for him during Jason vs. Psychic Girl battle. And it's noooot a good zombie look for him, and it would have been far better to just leave him with the mask on! But we get that goofy fight that's just so disappointing.

I must stress that this movie is still pretty bad, but I liked it more than I probably should. Not really worth going out of your way to watch if you're only watching so many Friday the 13th movies.

Rating: 4.5/10

I am being forced to wait to watch it, but I should be able to start it next Wednesday. The plan is a full on binge. I've heard nothing but good things though!

Well, I had a hellacious day of work followed by fun at a haunted house. But I did end up finishing another.

45. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (Max)

This is still HIS DAY, so another Jason movie! And good news! This one is actually probably the best one so far!

Part VI is about Tommy Jarvis wanting to destroy Jason's corpse in case he comes back. But indoingso, he accidentally resurrects him as a zombie revenant!

This movie fucking rules. I remember vividly the whole opening with Tommy jamming a spike into Jason's corpse, the lightning striking, and Jason coming back to life and being an unkillable monster who punches a hole through a man.

This is so much god damn fun. Like this is peak Jason Voorhees for me. This movie takes the entire concept and finally gives us more depth to the character. Jason now feels more rounded somehow, instead of generic slasher machete man. He's an actual monster and he kind of interacts with people instead of shambling mindlessly.

What stands out are little things. Jason reacting to situations that are seemingly nothing. Just canting his head in confusion when they attempt to stop him, seeming annoyed at certain actions. Standing triumphantly over fucking burning trucks. Like he just feels like he leveled up in terms of actually giving him the slightest bit of personality now, and it feels like a characterization that sticks.

This movie gives us action, good comedy that I actually laughed at, an actually interesting story of Tommy obsessed with stopping Jason and his nightmares, seeing the effects Jason had on this city, and taking a tone that's more about having fun rather than giving us outright scares. And honestly? I like that tone a lot.

Having Jason being a lot stronger now helps too, I think. He seems like more of a menacing force now. Encounters seem more interesting. Stakes are raised with every attempt to beat him.

Everything just works with Part VI. And it's really shocking, given the shakeup they gave Jason. I just really appreciate how they managed to get more bold with this creative choice after what an uninteresting dud the last movie was. I just wish the quality had stayed like this through the whole franchise, because I remember it slowly starts going down from here.

Anyway, Part VI. Best Friday the 13th movie. If you watch one, make it this one.

Rating: 8.5/10

I can accept AI taking our jobs, but I draw the line at AI taking our gamer status.

44. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (Max)

It's HIS DAY. So I'm only going to watch Jason Voorhees films today! Happy Friday the 13th!

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning takes place five years after the last movie where Jason is dead for real now this time honest. Tommy Jarvis from the previous movie, now a teenager, is at a halfway house. But after someone dies there, Jason seems to return to go on another murder rampage.

So let me tell you, this movie is ass. Just one of the worst Friday the 13th films. It's so boring and so many of the kills are dull and half the time there's just one off scenes with characters before Jason kills them, and rarely are any scenes that are funny meant to be funny.

Baffling is them opening with a dream sequence of child Tommy seeing two graverobbers digging up Jason and him returning. It was actually legitimately funny in how corny it was. But I wasn't prepared for how bad it would be after that. There's just nothing here with this movie. It really feels like a complete cash-in on the franchise.

I'll go ahead and spoil the ending because it's so fucking dumb.

So the killer isn't a returned Jason. It's some random paramedic we never see that went to the halfway house after that kid died, and the kid was actually his son. And he had a breakdown and was apparently a big Jason fanatic, so he decided to put on his outfit and start murdering everyone.

And if you think that reveal is bad, there's more!

Tommy attempts to kill the survivor girl. PSYCH! That's a dream. Tommy then sees Jason come into his room, PSYCH! That's a dream. Survivor girl comes into his room and sees the window broken, and Tommy isn't there. PSYCH! Tommy is behind the door wearing a Jason mask and trying to kill her.

This movie sucks, and it sucks a lot. While I've enjoyed all of these movies before, this really feels like the first one to be outright awful. Do not recommend the fifth installment.

Rating: 3/10

LinkMarioSamus posted...

I think a lot of the issue here is I consume the MCU only casually,

Bruh, you say "M-She-U". There is nothing casual about how you consume MCU stuff.

43. The Last Matinee (Showtime)

I decided maybe I'll try a little recent foreign film from Argentina. It was... interesting.

The Last Matinee is about a girl that runs a movie theater where, during one of the movies, there is a serial killer taking out each person inside one by one.

So okay, I liked this well enough, but I didn't love it. What I liked a lot was that just killer is just mean as fuck. A total psychopath and a supremely sick man. He's just a fucking crazy person who collects eyes what the fuck. They reveal this and I'm like WHY DUDE? And it gets constantly gets worse.

I should say that there is heavy, heavy influence from Italian horror in this one. And I think they did a great job of that. The visuals and directing are pretty great here. It takes its time to set up just some gruesome moments and I really enjoyed the style in this one. Of course, coming with Italian horror is also some corniness that I also kind of associate in a lot of them, but I don't think that got in the way too much because this movie never got too serious.

I don't have much to say about our characters for the most part though. They're here to just service the story, get killed, give a couple laughs, and in specific cases be heroes in the end. It's not a very inspired plot either. It's getting by on style.

I also learned they played a movie by the actor who played the killer, which was a Frankenstein one. It didn't seem very good from what little we saw of it though.

So yeah, it's not a special movie by any stretch. I think if you want a stylish slasher, it's worth checking out; especially if you want to add a little culture to your line up or horror viewing as well. It kept me entertained and gave me some moments I don't think I'll forget, and I think that's pretty good for a film like this.

Rating: 6.5/10

42. The Grudge 3 (Peacock)

I guess today is 3 day because this is the second time I watched the third installment of a franchise today. And they both sucked.

The Grudge 3 is about the grudge spirits murdering the hell out of everyone in a Chicago apartment.

Fuck me, was this one bad. Like really, really bad. First of all, they get rid of the disjointed storytelling structure and just have a linear story format for this one, and while that's not a terrible idea on it's own, the story is AWFUL.

Like I don't know what to even say. It's just so generic. Spooky spirits croak at people until freaking Kayako's sister arrives to say "Yo I wanna help get rid of the spooky spirits" while they take over the one guy who lives there. He does horrible schizo acting for a while and then they do a ritual and he just dead ass murders Kayako's sister in a gruesome way that feels so out of place for this franchise and then there's a THIRD GHOST. And yes I did spoil it, but you aren't missing much.

It barely feels like a Grudge movie, and if it didn't have croaking pale children there, you wouldn't know it. Dead ass, the one adult girl sees Toshio, this fucking pale white child with black around his eyes and then goes up to talk to him like he's a normal kid. If I see this fucking child that is PALE WHITE then I am running my ass the other way.

Just a frustratingly slow movie too, because they have this random side plot that has a doctor trying to figure it out after the kid from the second movie dies after the spooky spirits kill him and she just dies in the middle of the movie out of nowhere and that plot's just done I guess.

It's not all terrible, but it's mostly terrible. There's some clever ideas they do with them, but it's mostly so uninspired and boring. The directing is terrible. The editing is even worse. I shit you not, in the scene where Kayako's sister is being killed, there's a point where in the spam of three seconds, they do no less than 50 cuts when she gets hit. I almost had a god damn seizure.

And the acting is even worse. The guy who they got to be the grumpy possessed fella is just so freaking awful. He just tries to be menacing but he's so bad I just had to laugh. The lead girl isn't much better but she at least puts in an effort. The rest of the actors are so forgettable, as are their characters.

I cannot understate how bad this movie is. Just removes any soul that this franchise has. I was expecting bad, but I didn't expect this bad. Also, Kayako's sister is like "Yo this is the ritual pls drink this blood to stop the curse." And then this little girl does in the mess of the last confrontation, and the curse of Kayako stops and she disappears. But Kayako's sister becomes a spooky revenge ghost and then at the end, the little girl is now the vessel for Kayako. SO KAYAKO'S SISTER DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT AT ALL. Way to go idiot.

So yeah, this was terrible. A few good scares, but I was so bored watching this and I couldn't believe it every time I checked to see how much of this movie was left because it felt like it was four hours long. Do not recommend.

Rating: 2/10

Roman has that whole fax kill thing so I refuse to give him any respect.