Lurker > cuttin_in_farm

So when are you supposed to start feeling good again? Because tbh, Im becoming more agitated each day.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

CE is fucking doomed.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

People know introvert is not synonymous for shy or quiet, yes?
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Sonic Cannon posted...

Bumping to keep this high quality topic alive

Theres nothing else to discuss.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Thanos has a giant ass sword. That seems like a terrible idea for Scott.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

CesarFaison posted...

You say she isn't the type to have dumped you because she found someone else, yet here you are surprised and upset that she suddenly dumped you via text message.

Well, these are two different things. She at least acknowledged that she was sorry for doing it via text. Finding someone else just seems like a reach. She would just tell me thats why. Shes many things, but a liar isnt one of them. She has shared bad things shes done without me asking before. She cried the last time I was with her because she had to cut our day short; and she felt bad.

Again, yall dont have context. And I get yall wanna be helpful. But the she found someone else is a weak thought. Im sorry if any of yall dealt with it, but thats not what happened here.

metallica846 posted...

Also get rid of her on ALL social media. Otherwise you will do what I did and stalk that bitch and see who she's talking to. It's bad. We are giving you good advice, in a mean way, but it's good.

Guilty as charged, lol. I dont even really use social media either. But yea, I imagine its not healthy.

Cleo_II posted...

Echoing the no contact advice. I get the need for closure but theres no such thing. Your need for closure is just stemming from your addiction to her. You want to find some reason to stay in contact with her. And thats normal. Breaking up with people is like breaking a habit. Youve spent 6 months with her, communicating every day. Its hard to cut things off abruptly but its the best way to move on from someone.

I guess this is the real reason. I tried just talking like a friend but its too hard. Thus, the topic. I just gotta get my emotions in check.

I appreciate the legit advice in this topic (and PMs). Im feeling okay. Trying to just find a new relationship definitely seems like a bad coping method. And I definitely agree the distance must have been the hindering factor.

I dont know why she has to break things off. But it is what it is.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Yuna
Shantotto
Gwen
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

metallica846 posted...

You go thru her phone? If not, you have no idea what she does or who/how she talks to people.

I know from snooping.

Eh, she let me. It was last month, granted, and she more so showed me, so she could obviously delete whatever beforehand.

But she isnt that type. She seems more like completely mentally drained and I dont see how she could

Shes very straightforward. But I think its a case of unintentional sabotage. Shes always claimed she didnt deserve me or whatever. And I get how one can feel that way.

Distancing myself is definitely the best call. But lets not villainize her just because of stereotypes.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

I feel kinda bad about the negative perception of breakups in the last few posts.

I mean, I get yall dont have full context. But saying she found someone else is a bit pessimistic and cringey. For one, I know thats not the case. But second, even if true, thats not the best approach if you wish to aid someone getting over it.

Just odd.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

I will listen. Thank you.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

MabusIncarnate posted...

It's fine to be mad, but it's better to learn early on what to look for, what to avoid, and how to handle bad situations. All you are doing by texting with her is assuring her how she broke up with you through text is fine, and she didn't do anything wrong by not talking with you about anything. This will convince her to do this again in the future to some other guy because you are seemingly fine with it so far.

Just stop talking to her, go see a movie or something and leave your phone at home. Go find someone new. You never know what you are missing if you sit and dwell on something you can't change.

Im upset. I know Ill get over it. But your first paragraph. Shouldnt I tell her, respectfully, how I feel about the way she broke things off? To give myself some sense of self-closure?

I mean... if she ends it once, she can end it twice. And not been given a reason is just burning. I hate loose ends.

Ill cut contact, but I just need to at least tell her why, yes?
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

cuttin_in_farm posted...

I only have women friends at work and their advice is terrible.

Now I feel like an idiot because they were also saying the same thing verbatim. To stop communication for a month.

One lady even said her go to break up speech was the its not you; but me. Who knows what could happen but we can still be friends, while having zero intentions of getting back together. I just thought she was a bit of an ass, but even yall are matching up with what they said.

Im really pissed off.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Well tbh, now Im getting pissed off by the advice here.

She still responds when I text with exclamation marks... should I advise how I feel first or just cut off cold turkey? Because I dont really care anymore.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

jeffhardyb0yz posted...

cuttin_in_farm posted...

I guess it was silly to expect differently.

Im gonna just stop trying for a bit.

If you ever want this girl to respect you or at least giving you another chance, go no contact immediately

I do not understand the need to play games. But I guess.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

I guess it was silly to expect differently.

Im gonna just stop trying for a bit.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Feline_Heart posted...

Banjo2553 posted...

looked posted...

Zikten posted...

key point is to not panic. relax and you will float. humans are designed to float naturally. but it doesn't work if you flail around.

This, if you simply do nothing you will float.

Either I was doing something wrong or it's not true for everybody. Last time I tried that advice in a pool I sank. I even filled my lungs with air.

Your lungs have nothing to do with floating. You just have a mental block that's preventing you from letting go

This is false. Filling your lungs with oxygen definitely gives more buoyancy. Something people with just bones and no fat have very little of.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

MabusIncarnate posted...

Literally read my post above. Not trying to be a dick, but she doesn't "need time for herself." She's bullshitting you completely. That's one of the oldest get out of a relationship fast and easy excuses ever. Like someone said above, she doesn't respect you, and she's lying. There's a reason, but you probably won't ever know it.

Maybe... do you think its worth trying to ask her?
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Crepes posted...

How old are you both out of curiosity. How does this breakup compare to others youve had?

23. Her 22.

Ive only been in one relationship prior and that one was abysmal. She got pregnant by another guy, went silent after moving to a different state, and randomly sent me a picture of the newborn while telling me the babys name was the name I shared always wanting to name my daughter. She was also very flaky. Eventually that reached a breaking point.

Not a relationship, but I did have a friend I moved in with as well. We were best friends, but she turned out to be very toxic. Refused to pay any bills, had an abrasive personality and communication with her was constantly walking on eggshells.

So it stands to reason that this one being utterly pleasant to talk to, consistently considers my feelings on things, and actively planned things with me seems like a massive improvement.

I felt kinda blindsided by this though. Despite getting a feeling.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

mattnd2007 posted...

Don't stay friends. That shit ain't healthy unless it was a truly amicable breakup which clearly isn't the case here

I mean... it was... I just do not wish to be friends only.

It doesnt make sense to me. If you are thinking you cannot spare time for me, and need to build yourself. Thats cool. I dont mind waiting. Never gave an indication of such.

I dont see why breaking up is the only option. She says she cant do a serious relationship right now... while also saying Im the best shes had.

Like... the more I say this out loud, the more it doesnt make sense to me. I just get frustrated. What do people want, Ill never know.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Shit.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

She did via text too. Which really offended me. She says it had nothing to do with me, but that she needed to focus on her independence right now. She says Im the best shes been with and that she wished she could provide better.

But tbh. I dunno what to do. We work at the same job; different departments. But we live ~an hour apart. I definitely dont want to move past her. But I sure as hell dont dig this friendship thing. I tried for a day or two, and it just doesnt work.

I feel like this was it. We had perfect chemistry and interests and everything. We were only together for half a year but zero arguments. Sex was good. Shared personal stuff.

I dont know the success rate of sliding back in if I just wait. Nor do I know if Im setting myself up for failure if I do.

All I know is that I just watched Avengers, and Im feeling emotionally charged.

I only have women friends at work and their advice is terrible.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Lol at the privilege to live with parent(s) and not pay anything.

If anything its a discount with less control being the tradeoff.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Shantotto
Gwen
Hermione
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

FF_Redux posted...

dog is like having a kid at the age they need most care, but they never grow out of that phase until they die

Which is endearing af.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Shantotto
Yuna
Gwen
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Yuna
Shantotto
Gwen
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Ive looked back on my life goals and realized something. I dont think a kid is what I want.

I just want something to nurture that I love and vice versa. Doesnt a dog do that just fine?

For people with kids, or even those without... what are the perks of a kid over a dog?
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Oh shit. Lord Ainz is in this??? Didnt even notice!

Shantotto
Esmerelda
Hermione
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Gwen (Ben 10)
Yuna (Final Fantasy X)
Micaiah (Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn).

I thought someone else voted Micaiah but I guess not.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Zack_Attackv1 posted...

Pop that cherry and run for the ferry.

Easily my favorite.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Micaiah (Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn)
Yuna (Final Fantasy X)
Gwen (Ben 10)

Are psychic powers allowed for magic?
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

If she thinks thats a smart or even considerate idea, I clearly made a mistake getting engaged to her.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Evol posted...

A lot of rich people are actually drug addicts, alcoholics, etc. to drown out the pain and the money doesnt help. It fuels their unhealthy behaviors.

These same people would be worse without the money.

People confuse money with fame as well.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Money makes one happier.

If people disagree, let me find out for myself.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Cloud also broke the fourth wall by talking to the gloved HUD finger pointer thing too iirc.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

Banjo2553 posted...

thanks-gohan posted...

You mean you used strategy to setup battle tactics instead of mashing X?

Wow!

Yeah, I don't get this argument.

"The combat sucks because I can set things up to make the most braindead solution effective."

Yeah, you have to set it up and get the right materia. Which requires effort in the first place. It's like those people who said Xenoblade 2's combat sucks because "you can just not do anything at all and have auto-attack do the work" when you need an end-game build to do something like that. And battles take forever and you literally can't do that against superbosses since after half health they enrage and start hitting like a truck.

Nerds forget your average players dont have cheap setups and builds ready to go for the games.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

hockeybub89 posted...

You've made a great point, friend.

This post proves my point.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.

If I cannot trust you to call me out or not be a yes-man, youre not helping me tbh.
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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.