Lurker > NFUN

I don't know what my X-Frame Options Policy is, but I'm glad I have one



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Toxtricity posted...

may flip by the end of the day!

you always give me this hope and always leave me disappointed in the end

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DeepsPraw posted...

you mean through the diameter of the earth and out the other side? I'm gonna say no. Even if the stream does make it through the thousands of miles of rock, the liquid metal core is gonna vaporize it.

or did you mean "supine" instead of prone?

You're the one who doesn't understand Superman Dick Physics.

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No

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lmao

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kirby's fucking pissed

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I shouldn't be upset... but I still am

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Kishgal
Ra

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XIII_rocks posted...

Well you'd need to learn how first. Do some book learning. Patience. Etc etc.

Learn how to fly planes too ofc

I kind of want to see a movie made out of this concept

A dude has to literally destroy planet Earth and yet we're rooting for him

https://qntm.org/geocide

difficult

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xp1337 posted...

I've got this. I head to NASA with a chain and take a space shuttle to the moon, with the chain still attached at the launch site. Then I tie the chain to the moon like in Sonic CD. I walk across the chain to return to Earth and hook up that end of the chain to a winch and drag the moon in for an impact event a la Majora's Mask.

Realistically my mind breaks from the isolation and despair and I lose all sense of self not too far in. I fail the objective.

Can't get hurt. Reasonably that extends to mental health for this scenario

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Shonen_Bat posted...

I really want to vote for The Beast, waiting for John Wick discussion though since google is unhelpful

I think this is another match where two variants of the same archetype are put against each other. John Wick is a hitman. The Beast is an assassin. They're in action movies that don't take themselves seriously at all, so their feats are pretty silly. From what I've seen (granted I haven't watched their movies), they're very similar... except the Beast is just more. More ridiculousness that could probably be stopped by a character from a more grounded franchise, but not from somebody who relies on the same silliness to grant him power, somebody who would probably be a mid-movie elite mook that still gets merked without too much effort being put in. It's a raw counter.

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Professor Quirrell > Evangeline A.K. McDowell (4-1)
Death (Supernatural) > SCP-682 (5-0)

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Welcome to the King of Fighters 2020 (NOT MERCS) Simulated Character Battle Tournament!

The game is simple. The two* listed characters are placed in an (imaginary) location with a variety of (imaginary) environments, kind of like a picture in a child's schoolbook that describes different types of geological features. Within a ten mile radius, there is an (imaginary) urban downtown, exurbs, plains, snow-clad mountains at the edge, dry plains, etc. Fighters start wherever is most appropriate for them, but feel increasingly compelled to seek out their opponent and fight. Strong-willed fighters can try to hold out in their chosen environment for longer... eventually, all will succumb and actively search for the other to battle.

To participate, just vote in bold for whichever character you believe will win. Giving reasoning is optional, but please be polite and read what others have said and carefully make your decision. I'll ping the nominators (they can opt out) to give arguments if they wish.

TODAY'S PARTICIPANTS:
John Wick (John Wick)

Powered by rage about the murder of his dog, the hitman John Wick harbors the same indignant fury that powered the Joestar bloodline for centuries

vs

The Beast (Kung Fu Hustle)

https://i.imgur.com/6hanU8K.gif

@MetalmindStats @GavsEvans123

FIGHT

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banananor posted...

how do you think i was saying evolution worked? i think maybe you're misinterpreting me!

it's very often that a descendant species replaces their ancestor species. there are penty of exceptions- like sharks, sturgeons, and sponges, but it's totally within the realm of possibility for wasps to be replaced

granted, they've already been around for a very fuckin long time, that's just a comment on how long it would take for me to build up nuclear technology on my own

I guess, but descendents of wasps would phylogenetically still be wasps

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Xiahou Shake posted...

I would probably begin a however-long-it-takes effort to yeet the planet into the sun or otherwise completely wipe it from existence/render it unlivable since that's the only quasi-realistic way I see of accomplishing this task. Even then, though, with no humans around to maintain the functioning of the internet or any of the facilities I'd need to even begin acquiring the knowledge necessary for this work, I don't imagine I'd get very far.

Absurdly more difficult than wiping life out on the planet

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tyder21 posted...

I don't see how the power will still be running by the time I successfully break into anywhere that has nuclear weapons to launch,

Good thing generators exist!

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tyder21 posted...

I'm not confident, especially with all the power grids dying, that I could solo do any of: 1) locate enough nuclear weapons; 2) infiltrate said locations; or 3) then proceed to correctly target and launch things (without electricity??).

Who said you can't use electricity?

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banananor posted...

it seems impossible without severe terraforming. humanity is currently doing its best to kill all mosquitoes, and it can't do that.

That's because we want to kill only mosquitoes. In fact, we only want to kill certain types of mosquitoes. If we only cared about them being dead regardless of costs, they'd have died out entirely ages ago... alongside other things

banananor posted...

it'd be a real race to see whether i'd be able to kill em before they evolved into something no longer recognizable as wasps

that isn't how evolution works

metaIslug posted...

Why wasps? I thought mosquitos were the actual problem

because a wasp stung the friend of the creator of this thought experiment

Xeybozn posted...

I wonder if enough nuclear weapons exist to eliminate all life on Earth, or least all non-microscopic life on land. It'd probably take a while to set up for that, but it also seems like the only viable method to kill all the wasps faster than they can make more wasps.

not enough bombs to directly blast the whole land surface, and almost certainly not enough to irradiate it all to the point of total uninhabitability either

I'm not going to offer any ideas of my own ftr, since I've already spent two days debating this. I'll point out issues with methods as I see them, but I want a new crop of ideas to come out

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SovietOmega posted...

I start an exhaustive task of breeding wasps for intelligence, slowly but surely guiding them along the way as they develop the right tools and logic necessary to become the next supreme beings on the planet. Then I wait until they either destroy themselves or Wasp God poofs them out of existence to task one immortal one to eliminate all x. If the former happens, mission accomplished! If the latter happens, I have a new friend for eternity.

God is gone forever (until maybe you win). Congratulations on getting to this joke in only a couple of hours instead of a few days like the other group

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Mobilezoid posted...

So step one is taking a few years to self-teach myself how to maintain and fly an airplane?

A few years? It's easy to fly a plane. The hard part is landing... which you don't need to do well, cause y'know, immortal

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Mobilezoid posted...

I don't think I could travel to every country wasps exist in without modern travel services, let alone exterminate every last one of them.

Planes (and well-sealed fuel containers) don't stop existing when people do

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BetrayedTangy posted...

So do certain facilities still exist without humans? Specifically the Internet or at least a Library?

I would start by researching their typical resources and start trying to remove those. Followed by introducing predators and environmental hazards to typical nesting locations. Then probably set a lot of forest fires to wipe out those hidden in jungles and whatnot.

I would have to move fast too, don't want them adapting

The Internet is there, sure. At least until the power dies across the entire planet as suddenly unmanned power plants fail and all of the consequences of nobody being around to run, maintain and fix things starts to take effect.

The scenario says that all infrastructure remains

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Shonen_Bat posted...

How long until the heat death of the universe?

Earth will become uninhabitable in say a billion years but consider natural death a time limit. You want to accomplish it as quickly as possible. Beating the null is just the baseline. If you don't actually accomplish anything or even somehow keep them alive for longer than they would've without your intervention, you lose, in a sense.

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You wake up. You are immortal. You do not age. You cannot get hurt. You do not need to sustain yourself. God Himself comes down from heaven and tells you "You HAVE to kill every wasp", and then vanishes forever. You look outside and there are no more humans. Other animals, infrastructure and life still remain--it is the world abandoned by mankind. Except you.

You have to kill every wasp.

Perhaps, when the wasps are dead, God will return to the world and restore it to the state it was when you went to bed, sans the wasps. Perhaps he won't. It matters not; your task is clear.

How long would it take for you to kill every single wasp?

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rwlh posted...

Does SCP-682 have any actual combat abilities? All I'm seeing is "he adapts to any attack." What does he do offensively?

Depends on his shape. He's generally fast as hell and pretty strong, though he doesn't have any magic or anything. In a normal match, his strategy would be to not die and never give up. If his opponent couldn't either kill him or convincingly keep him perpetually contained or incapacitated, he'd escape and eventually get lucky enough to get the drop on them. Death is a real strong counter to him, along with anybody who could teleport/move him to somewhere he couldn't get back from

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PrinceKaro posted...

just because a group of scientists can't find a way to kill something, doesn't mean it is 'unkillible'

NFUN posted...

I feel bad for the SCP. This is a real poor matchup for him

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I feel bad for the SCP. This is a real poor matchup for him

Death

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CasanovaZelos posted...

It's really weird waking up and not immediately writing about a video game...

this sounds like a job for Trails in the Sky Playthrough Topic

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Rebel Army
Zeal Continent

what a day

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ZeeksFire posted...

I'm sorry, but this is putting a High tier against a mid tier. Evangeline

There's vast more experience and skill on one side versus the other, and invisibility is easily offset by magical darkness and illusions. That and there is an extreme experience gap to consider, several hundred years of actual combat experience and survival. I think there was a serious error in people thinking that Quirrell actually has the advantage in tactics here.

Well, if only you had posted and voted before the match ended this could've mattered

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Welcome to the King of Fighters 2020 (NOT MERCS) Simulated Character Battle Tournament!

The game is simple. The two* listed characters are placed in an (imaginary) location with a variety of (imaginary) environments, kind of like a picture in a child's schoolbook that describes different types of geological features. Within a ten mile radius, there is an (imaginary) urban downtown, exurbs, plains, snow-clad mountains at the edge, dry plains, etc. Fighters start wherever is most appropriate for them, but feel increasingly compelled to seek out their opponent and fight. Strong-willed fighters can try to hold out in their chosen environment for longer... eventually, all will succumb and actively search for the other to battle.

To participate, just vote in bold for whichever character you believe will win. Giving reasoning is optional, but please be polite and read what others have said and carefully make your decision. I'll ping the nominators (they can opt out) to give arguments if they wish.

TODAY'S PARTICIPANTS:
Death (Supernatural)

The primordial force, Death is capable of summoning a hurricane with ease. Probably unkillable, but can be contained

vs

SCP-682 (SCP Foundation)

A powerful, maliciously intelligent abomination, SCP-682 boasts insanely strong regenerative abilities and is the face of SCP, its containment procedures, and the failure of said procedures. Basically unkillable, but can be contained.

@5tarscream @Raka_Putra

FIGHT

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Until said question goes unanswered, I'm with Quirrell. Much less raw power, but Eva seems to have no durability or defense, and, as of now, he's demonstrated he can get in a good first strike. Maybe she'll be able to persist via immortality, which requires blood over long periods which she's not gonna be able to get while Quirrell is figuratively sitting on her

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I've played Kirby 64... the very beginning of OoT... and maybe a little Smash 64?

so 0

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idk was ABZU ever in? if not, Journey


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Does Eva have any kind of stealth or stealth-breaking?

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why did nobody tell me this chick wasn't mid tier

the wiki led me to believe she had only mediocre magic!

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Move Me? More like OWNED Me!
Love Scope? More like Love ScOWNED!



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Dungeon
X

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He has time to come up with a plan. Maybe not a plan for this specific enemy, but they don't start in the exact same location, and may be pretty far apart. He can at least prepare himself

And being able to kill him before he can utter a syllable isn't a great phrase to use when he can cast at the speed of thought...

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The guy who nominated him is gone, but luckily his post was preserved:

Basically no ethics Batman as a potterverse wizard

"Those of you who have wasted time by reading your useless first-year Defence textbooks may have gotten the impression that although this subject is called Defence Against the Dark Arts, it is actually about how to defend against Nightmare Butterflies, which cause mildly bad dreams, or Acid Slugs, which can dissolve all the way through a two-inch wooden beam given most of a day.

"The Hungarian Horntail is taller than a dozen men! It breathes fire so quickly and so accurately that it can melt a Snitch in midflight! One Killing Curse will bring it down!"

"The Mountain Troll is more dangerous than the Hungarian Horntail! It is strong enough to bite through steel! Its hide is resistant enough to withstand Stunning Hexes and Cutting Charms! Its sense of smell is so acute that it can tell from afar whether its prey is part of a pack, or alone and vulnerable! Most fearsome of all, the troll is unique among magical creatures in continuously maintaining a form of Transfiguration on itself - it is always transforming into its own body. If you somehow succeed in ripping off its arm it will grow another within seconds! Fire and acid will produce scar tissue which can temporarily confuse a troll's regenerative powers - for an hour or two! They are smart enough to use clubs as tools! The mountain troll is the third most perfect killing machine in all Nature! One Killing Curse will bring it down."

Professor Quirrell was smiling rather grimly. "Your sad excuse for a third-year Defense textbook will suggest to you that you expose the mountain troll to sunlight, which will freeze it in place. This, my young apprentices, is the sort of useless knowledge you will never find in my lessons. You do not encounter mountain trolls in open daylight! The idea that you should use sunlight to stop them is the result of foolish textbook authors trying to show off their mastery of minutia at the expense of practicality. Just because there is a ridiculously obscure way of dealing with mountain trolls does not mean you should actually try to use it! The Killing Curse is unblockable, unstoppable, and works every single time on anything with a brain. If, as an adult wizard, you find yourself incapable of using the Killing Curse, then you can simply Apparate away! Likewise if you are facing the second most perfect killing machine, a Dementor. You just Apparate away!"

"Unless, of course, you are under the influence of an anti-Apparition jinx. No, there is exactly one monster which can threaten you once you are fully grown. The single most dangerous monster in all the world, so dangerous that nothing else comes close. The Dark Wizard. That is the only thing that will still be able to threaten you."

Professor Quirrell's lips were set in a thin line. "I will reluctantly teach you enough trivia for a passing mark on the Ministry-mandated portions of your first-year finals. Since your exact mark on these sections will make no difference to your future life, anyone who wants more than a passing mark is welcome to waste their own time studying our pathetic excuse for a textbook. The title of this subject is not Defence Against Minor Pests. You are here to learn how to defend yourselves against the Dark Arts. Which means, let us be very clear on this, defending yourselves against Dark Wizards. People with wands who want to hurt you and who will likely succeed in doing so unless you hurt them first! There is no defence without offence! There is no defence without fighting! This reality is deemed too harsh for eleven-year-olds by the fat, overpaid, Auror-guarded politicians who mandated your curriculum. To the abyss with those fools! You are here for the subject that has been taught at Hogwarts for eight hundred years! Welcome to your first year of Battle Magic!"

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The Bride > 2pac (7-1)

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You shine, and make others shine just by being near them.

Welcome to the King of Fighters 2020 (NOT MERCS) Simulated Character Battle Tournament!

The game is simple. The two* listed characters are placed in an (imaginary) location with a variety of (imaginary) environments, kind of like a picture in a child's schoolbook that describes different types of geological features. Within a ten mile radius, there is an (imaginary) urban downtown, exurbs, plains, snow-clad mountains at the edge, dry plains, etc. Fighters start wherever is most appropriate for them, but feel increasingly compelled to seek out their opponent and fight. Strong-willed fighters can try to hold out in their chosen environment for longer... eventually, all will succumb and actively search for the other to battle.

To participate, just vote in bold for whichever character you believe will win. Giving reasoning is optional, but please be polite and read what others have said and carefully make your decision. I'll ping the nominators (they can opt out) to give arguments if they wish.

TODAY'S PARTICIPANTS:
Evangeline A.K. McDowell (Negima)

A 600-year-old vampire in an ageless young body, Evangeline McDowell is the worst of all modern anime tropes. Has magic powers too I guess

vs

Professor Quirrell (Harry Potter)
https://imgur.com/a/Tem7owO
A cowardly yet experienced wizard, Professor Quirrell also holds an aspect of Voldemort, presumably granting him further wisdom on top of his existing proficiency

@PrinceKaro @MasoamiHouzuki

FIGHT

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I was confused by Edgeworth not knowing Godot too... until I realized it was said by Atmey who is a blowhard who can't help but inflate everything to needlessly dramatic proportions

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Drakeryn posted...

yeah. I mean, that doesn't make sense, but I don't "get" this match in general

I'm not sure if I'm overthinking a joke nom or if Maria had something specific in mind that the writeup isn't capturing

maria nommed literally a misfolded protein. don't overthink it

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i was imaging him as being a self-supporting hologram for the purposes of this, personally... not like it matters at all

Bride

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EXEC_PAJA/.#Orica extracting.? More like OWNED_OWNED/.#OWNED owning!!
B.T. Dutch? More like O.W. NED!

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Lopen posted...

Does 2pac's hologram ability make The Bride aware he's a hologram out of the box

No. When she sees him she can tell if the effects aren't good enough (or just by recognizing him if you think she knows enough pop culture to realize he's dead)

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Isoleucine
Love Scope

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Anagram posted...

It doesn't seem like either can hurt the other?

I guess the Bride can fuck him up with mirrors if that would count? And both could probably try to convince the other to give up, which will probably work better for the extremely stubborn Bride

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Squall Leonhart > Skjorn (5-0)
Yujiro Hanma > D'arby (3-0)

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