We’re the only species on Earth that observes Shark Week. Sharks don’t even observe Shark Week, but we do. For the same reason I can pick up this pencil, tell you its name is ‘Steve’ and go like this-” [breaks pencil] “and part of you dies, just a little bit on the inside. Because people can connect with anything. We can sympathize with a pencil, we can forgive a shark, and we can give Ben Affleck an Academy Award for screenwriting. People can find the good in just about anything but themselves.
Look at me: It’s clear, to all of you, that I am awesome. But I can never admit that, because that would make me a jerk. But what I can do is see what makes Annie awesome. She’s driven. We need driven people, or the lights go out and the ice cream melts. And Pierce, we need guys like Pierce. This guy has wisdom to offer. We should listen to him sometime, we wouldn’t regret it. And Shirley. Shirley has earned our respect. Not as a wife, not as a mother, but as a woman. And don’t test her on that, because the thing about the jukebox was way too specific to be improvised.
And Troy! Who cares if Troy thinks he’s all that? Maybe he is. Do you think astronauts go to the moon because they hate oxygen? No. They’re trying to impress their high school’s prom king. And Abed, Abed’s a shaman. You ask him to pass the salt, he gives you a bowl of soup. Because, you know what? Soup is better. Abed is better. You are all better than you think you are. You are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself.
I want you to look to the person to your left…Sorry, look at the person sitting next to you. I want you to extend to that person the same compassion you extend to sharks, pencils, and Ben Affleck. I want you to say to that person, ‘I forgive you.’
--
http://img.imgcake.com/AlecTrevylan006/xiiioneshieldpngys.png