He came across Sir Chris, who was walking around coolly about twenty feet away. Behind that, Bellis could see user saveus_Maria stalking Chris, hiding behind trees and such.
"HEY SIR CHRIS," roared Bellis. "YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEING FOLLOWED, RIGHT?"
"Yes, actually," said Chris calmly, not at all surprised by Bellis' appearance. "I was going to kill him later but you ruined it."
Maria winced, but stayed hidden.
"Now," continued Chris. "Let's talk about you. I surmise that you are going to try and kill me but I think you should know that I am an ally for you, and not only that I'm both knife-and-bullet-proof anyway. I think you'd be better off protecting me because I'm more valuable to you alive."
"HMM," pondered Mad Bellis loudly. "NAH." He flung his knife viciously in Chris' direction.
"##KILL: SIR CHRIS," Bellis said at a decibel level that is almost indescribable.
The knife plunged into Sir Chris's stomach, and he keeled over. Bellis advanced towards him mercilessly, Sir Chris grunting "wait...I am town...don't..."
"WELL I'M INDEPENDENT SK SO THAT IS IMMATERIAL," screamed Bellis as he tore Chris limb from limb. A message appeared in the air.
Sir Chris has died. He was Sir Chris, SCUM Godfather.
"OH, HE WAS LYING." shouted Bellis. "WELL, WHATEVER. NOW TO DEAL WITH THIS OTHER PATHETIC WORM."
Bellis stomped towards Maria who took a deep breath and stepped out from behind the tree, talking quickly as Bellis approached, the ground shaking beneath him.
"...OK, NONE of this makes any sense," said the intensely logical Maria. "You becoming a superangry alter-ego doesn't make any sense and you sharing an unconscious world with other unconscious people doesn't make any sense."
Bellis stopped briefly. "HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE UNCONSCIOUS WORLD?!"
"Plot power," I said. "You should really know this by now."
Bellis shrugged and continued to stomp towards Maria, who went on:
"For those to be true you have to assume that you've been capable of telepathic links to other people, as well as massive, instantaneous mutations for your entire life, which is probably impossible - or that's what you've been given as your weapon. But that doesn't make any sense either because you have my old knife, and having mind powers, the ability to mutate AND a knife would be ridiculous. Especially when all I have is this crappy razor and a strong sense of logic."
"RAWWWRRR," screamed Mad Bellis, now only a few feet away from Maria and getting closer all the time.
"Yes, rawr," said Maria thoughtfully. "I can only presume that this is all an illusion put in place by either Minio or some higher power, because there's no way this can possibly be real."
It was as if a switch had been flicked. Mad Bellis, while still angry, no longer had his superhuman size and strength. In fact, he now looked rather pathetic in comparison.
"Good," said Maria. "Cold logic wins again."
Bellis raised his knife but saveus was too fast, spearing Bellis to the ground before jabbing the razor into his eye. Bellis' eyeball burst and his knife clattered to the ground as he screamed in pain. Maria picked it up. It felt...natural in his hand. He nodded with satisfaction and plunged it into Bellis' heart in the simplest, most efficient way possible.
A watching Pirateking munched on his sandwich and stalked away.
* * *
"...Damn," said XIII. "Occam's Razor is kind of an overpowered weapon. It's even messing with my horrible deus ex machina writing!"
"Yes," agreed Minio angrily. "Way to ruin my game, jerk. I was just starting to enjoy the rampage of Mad Bellis."
"I just want some alcohol ;_;" cried Comm in the background.
--
k