December 2
At the TNUC base in Kirby, and by Kirby I mean Lithuania, Dante and Tombolo snickered. They were in the process of messing with wimminz.
The author had decided, because he is a little bit sexist and tends to stereotype, that all women, without exception, enjoy Christmas shopping. As a result, Ryoko, Nio and GenesisSaga were enjoying a day walking carefully around the crowded city streets, taking care to avoid the snow as it would damage their expensive clothes, and avoiding the patches of black ice that had appeared on the pavement/"sidewalk".
Tom and Dante laughed as they looked at the hacked CCTV footage. The three women were laden with bags, the contents of which included an automatic sandwich maker (yep).
Oxbridge walked up behind them evilly, his cape twirling. "Why oh why are you snickering randomly at a screen?" he asked, before exploding. MZero11 hurried to take his place.
"Why oh why are you all snickering randomly at a screen?"
"Because we're about to make women unable to enjoy Christmas shopping," replied Dante.
"herp my derp," replied Tom.
"derp," replied Dante.
"herp?" replied Tom.
"derp." replied Dante.
MZero11 facepalmed at their idiocy before saying, "fine, fine, you idiots. It's a good idea. Send the instructions to the moonbase."
"Fine," said Dante, hitting several buttons at random which caused Saturn to explode, before finally hitting the correct button which connected Lithuania to the moonbase. Man I love saying the word "moonbase". I wish I had a moonbase.
"Yes?" said Pirateking.
"Here is the Christmas cheer we want to remove," said MZero11, taking credit for Dante and Tom's idea. "Remove girls' love of Christmas shopping."
"That's shameful," said Tom under his breath in a rare moment of lucidity.
"That's Sheamus?" said Dante in a not-so-rate moment of stupidity. Tom shook his head.
"Alright. Good idea, MZero11. By the way, what happened to Oxbridge?" asked Pirateking.
"He blew up."
"Oh. Well, fair enough. Send me the calibration code for the lazer beam." MZero did so.
"Good...receiving them now...hey! Speedyoshi!"
"Yeah?" replied Speedyoshi, who had just finished crapping out an egg.
"Fire lazer."
"Yessir," said Speedyoshi quickly, and he punched the big "fire lazer" button.
* * *
Suddenly Nio, GenSag and Ryoko's shopping disappeared, the money returned to their bank accounts - all the more to spend on New Year parties - and the shops surrounding them appeared to be boarded up. For those who found Christmas shopping to be a chore, all the shops remained unfortunately open, but the wimminz were left standing in an empty street. Christmas!Tumbleweed drifted by as they stood there in shock.
* * *
Tom and Dante laughed derpily before MZero barked "hey! Stop that! Go check the prisoner!"
Without a word Tom and Dante got up and went to the nearby prison cells. Tom slid open the hatch on the first door, and saw nothing had changed. The man known as Mershiness was still there, being forced to watch Christmas specials of Glee over and over again. Dante felt a touch of regret for DQing XIII's votes in UCA that one time and stripping him and his friends of the titles, but mostly he felt a little bit sorry for the man in there. This was only brief, though, because quickly his and Tom's mind filled once again with thoughts of food, the Wombles and 2+2=5.
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