Turns out there are a bunch of different kind of printers out there.
Looked around a few places and eventually settled on this
http://www.amazon.com/Brother-Printer-HL2230-Monochrome/dp/B004H1PB9I/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_t_2
Apparently people tend to like Brother printers, and this seemed a good deal for the price. Toner replacement cartridges aren't all too bad either for being high yield...
I plan to slowly have this thing pay for itself by printing out coupons, and if something bad happens to the world of online coupons before such happens, well...I still have a decent way to print stuff.
Huzzah for being late to the owning a printer party.
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There is no shame in not knowing; the shame lies in not finding out