Hey we're already on the finals.
Kurt Angle vs. Edge
Oh yeah, these two were buddies. Angle wants Edge to give up so Angle can win his later match. Looks like a face turn for Edge.
Belly to belly suplex over the top rope. Edge is really selling those hurt ribs.
This match is pretty plodding right now, Angle's not even going for many suplexes. Oh here's one. Now some action outside.
Edge hits a hurricanrana from the top and both guys are worn out. This is an advantage for Shane later on. Angle's trying his slam and ankle lock, can't get either one on.
Christian runs out as Edge gets a cover, this plan is backfiring. Angle ducks a clothesline, ref down. Ankle lock and Edge taps but the ref is out. Shane is here! He spears Angle.
Edge gets up hits an impaler DDT on Angle and he's the new King of the Ring!
Oh here's DDP again. They haven't gone a match without touching on this thing.
Edge is king and it is the era of awesomeness.
Light heavyweight action! I always forget about this belt. I hope there's some good quick action!
Jeff Hardy vs. X-Pac
Oh jesus christ my excitement for this match just dropped to zero.
Action's pretty quick at the start, some armdrag takedowns. Jeff wants to run across the barricades but fans are leaning on it so he just has to jump on and jump off.
X-Pac hits a springboard crossbody and he's trying to play to the crowd a bunch. We need that "We're not booing you because you are a good heel, we are booing you because you are a terrible worker" sign.
Bronco buster misses. Jeff hits a dropkick, X-Pac tries the same move and misses. And here we've got a botch, X-Pac springs out of the corner for some reason and tries leaping while being speared?
Shirts come off and high pitched screams. X Factor and Jeff gets his foot on the ropes, the ref notices at the last second. Swanton lets Jeff keep his belt.
Regal has some lackey with him, wonder who this is. Austin uses a rotary phone to call Vince, who isn't present. He wants Vince to come, he can make it in time. Can he? Oh, well, google maps tells me the drive is 49 minutes, and with traffic can be 58 minutes. There's over an hour left, he can make it in time!
Are we seriously showing more DDP stuff. Oh, Sara's the one stalking DDP.
DDP vs. Undertaker
Taker is squashing DDP until DDP hits a low blow. And now DDP is almost comically overselling. Here comes Sara. She's got a video camera.
More squash action until DDP gets a chair. Five minutes into this unofficial match Heyman and JR are calling for some semblance of order to be restored.
After more squash action, DDP's had enough of this and he walks out of the arena. Oh.
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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...