Three opponents at once! What a challenge! How could I possibly keep track of three opponents at once?
Three people is nothing. I am routinely mobbed at autograph sessions. Twenty arms all waving posters and t-shirts and programs in my face? No problem, I grab them all and sign away. This one's to Timmy, this one is signed for Dave, these posters are all signed for Andrew, and this one I signed and wrote my phone number on? That's going to the lucky lady named Jessica. And that's not the last time I'll be using my pen with her. That's right, I go to some... ahem, "great lengths" to satisfy my fans.
But that's all besides the point! I'm just trying to say that keeping tabs on three people is nothing. I can take on the whole group at once. I don't need to break my promo down for each individual opponent just to make it easier on myself. I don't need to list the ways I match up with each guy separately. I don't need to make personalized callouts to them.
When that match starts, I will rise above the competition. I'm quicker than all of them, I'm smarter than all of them, and I have more crowd support than the lot of them combined. I WILL hit Nee Drops on everybody, and it will be fantastic every time. I will put on a fantastic show, possibly the best the UCA has ever seen. Writers are already prepping their five star ratings before the match even happens just because they know I'm in it. And when it's all over, I will be the UCA champ.
...
What's that? Will me winning the title lead the UCA to greatness? No, of course not. That's stupid. Me winning the title will lead the fans to greatness. When I win the title, their win will be even greater than mine.
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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...