LogFAQs > #980072863

adjl posted...

That's really the big thing. Give people the chance to voice their displeasure or dip out if they're unhappy with you talking to more than one prospective partner. Transparency is important at any stage of a relationship. It's important that everyone knows what's going on so they can make informed decisions about how much they want to commit.

My girlfriend of nearly 25 years has continued to stay with me in spite of one of our first dates involving me emphatically pointing out that I was never, ever going to get married.

Of course, considering one of our first dates also had her voicing her opinion that "Babies are like alien parasites that grow inside of you, no thanks", we've fortunately been on the same page when it comes to relationship stuff from fairly early on.

But with someone else, who viewed marriage and kids to be a huge part of their ideal future plans, it wouldn't have been a very appealing option. And it would have been unfair to everyone involved to just string each other along for months (or years) in the hopes of convincing the other person to eventually change their mind. Or eventually coercing them into changing their mind via threats or emotional blackmail.

If two people have radically different ideas of what they want a relationship to be, it's much better to try and discuss that in advance rather than just wait until it turns into a huge fight/breakup over it.