Poll of the Day > Three of the women I'm talking to have unionized.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I haven't taken any of them out on dates.

But they found out that I am taking one of them on a date.

Now they're upset.

Can't a guy talk to multiple people at once and see which one he likes the most??

women can be so cruel

Get rekt

They aren't cars, they're human beings. You don't window shop and kick the tires to see which one you want to take for a test drive.

When they decide to ghost you, youll actually know why this time.

Nah, he won't.

nice

Last time I had "multiple" options (more like multiple choice) I went after the one that didn't like me and found out the one that did like me left last week.

Still I'm stuck in my ways so I only go after one at once. At least they all didn't collaborate like yours and make me look like a womanizer. I'm terrified of looking like that. Maybe they don't realize guys' success rate is like 1/10.

Dikitain posted...

They aren't cars, they're human beings. You don't window shop and kick the tires to see which one you want to take for a test drive.

Sure you can, and it's quite common in the dating scene. Just be upfront about being non-committal (or don't make any promises, at least).

CyborgSage00x0 posted...

Just be upfront about being non-committal (or don't make any promises, at least).

That's really the big thing. Give people the chance to voice their displeasure or dip out if they're unhappy with you talking to more than one prospective partner. Transparency is important at any stage of a relationship. It's important that everyone knows what's going on so they can make informed decisions about how much they want to commit.

CyborgSage00x0 posted...

Sure you can, and it's quite common in the dating scene.

Maybe when still in early parts and blind dating and no actual feelings being involved yet. If feelings are already involved, it is just sleazy.

i recommend watching def jams how to be a player to help you deal with situations like this

adjl posted...

That's really the big thing. Give people the chance to voice their displeasure or dip out if they're unhappy with you talking to more than one prospective partner. Transparency is important at any stage of a relationship. It's important that everyone knows what's going on so they can make informed decisions about how much they want to commit.

My girlfriend of nearly 25 years has continued to stay with me in spite of one of our first dates involving me emphatically pointing out that I was never, ever going to get married.

Of course, considering one of our first dates also had her voicing her opinion that "Babies are like alien parasites that grow inside of you, no thanks", we've fortunately been on the same page when it comes to relationship stuff from fairly early on.

But with someone else, who viewed marriage and kids to be a huge part of their ideal future plans, it wouldn't have been a very appealing option. And it would have been unfair to everyone involved to just string each other along for months (or years) in the hopes of convincing the other person to eventually change their mind. Or eventually coercing them into changing their mind via threats or emotional blackmail.

If two people have radically different ideas of what they want a relationship to be, it's much better to try and discuss that in advance rather than just wait until it turns into a huge fight/breakup over it.

ParanoidObsessive posted...

My girlfriend of nearly 25 years has continued to stay with me in spite of one of our first dates involving me emphatically pointing out that I was never, ever going to get married.

Of course, considering one of our first dates also had her voicing her opinion that "Babies are like alien parasites that grow inside of you, no thanks", we've fortunately been on the same page when it comes to relationship stuff from fairly early on.

But with someone else, who viewed marriage and kids to be a huge part of their ideal future plans, it wouldn't have been a very appealing option. And it would have been unfair to everyone involved to just string each other along for months (or years) in the hopes of convincing the other person to eventually change their mind. Or eventually coercing them into changing their mind via threats or emotional blackmail.

If two people have radically different ideas of what they want a relationship to be, it's much better to try and discuss that in advance rather than just wait until it turns into a huge fight/breakup over it.

This shit is why I don't get my ex. I spent 6 years telling him I didn't want kids. From the day we met. Then we broke up mainly due to his displeasure because he wants kids. Why did you waste so much of your prime parenting years??? Make sense.

ParanoidObsessive posted...

If two people have radically different ideas of what they want a relationship to be, it's much better to try and discuss that in advance rather than just wait until it turns into a huge fight/breakup over it.

Pretty much. You don't necessarily have to air everything on the first date or two (especially if you're casually dating a couple different people and there hasn't been any pretense of forming an actual long-term relationship yet), but sitting on potential dealbreakers because you're worried about how a person will react just pushes that reaction further down the road and makes the ensuing breakup rougher. If there's something fundamentally incompatible, it's better to break up early and move on to somebody else than delay the inevitable.

Jen0125 posted...

This s*** is why I don't get my ex. I spent 6 years telling him I didn't want kids. From the day we met. Then we broke up mainly due to his displeasure because he wants kids. Why did you waste so much of your prime parenting years??? Make sense.

I expect it was the same reason it's so hard to get a tubal: The idea that even if a younger woman insists that she doesn't want kids, she'll likely change her mind later in life. It doesn't make sense, per se, but it's likely a product of the broader culture of assumptions around women wanting kids. He just failed to challenge those assumptions.

Why are you interested in women who are completely neutral?

IYKYK

DiScOrDtHeLuNaTiC posted...

Why are you interested in women who are completely neutral?

IYKYK

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask them to say "unionized."

adjl posted...

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask them to say "unionized."

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/9/91706a88.jpg

Nichtcrawler-X posted...

Maybe when still in early parts and blind dating and no actual feelings being involved yet. If feelings are already involved, it is just sleazy.

Depends. If you are upfront about it being casual/unknown, and someone catches feelings later, that can't be your fault. Or at least not if you address it again and go from there.

THEGODDAMNBATMA posted...

But they found out that I am taking one of them on a date.

I'm not seeing the strategy here. Do they want more dates? Or do they want to spend less time with you by equally distributing it?

THEGODDAMNBATMA posted...

I haven't taken any of them out on dates.

But they found out that I am taking one of them on a date.

Now they're upset.

Can't a guy talk to multiple people at once and see which one he likes the most??

yeah but you're supposed to be open and honest about it

if they're finding out from each other instead of you, then it's your fault

Jen0125 posted...

This shit is why I don't get my ex. I spent 6 years telling him I didn't want kids. From the day we met. Then we broke up mainly due to his displeasure because he wants kids. Why did you waste so much of your prime parenting years??? Make sense.

know so many fucking idiot men like this

they are insecure

CyborgSage00x0 posted...

Depends. If you are upfront about it being casual/unknown, and someone catches feelings later, that can't be your fault. Or at least not if you address it again and go from there.

Pretty much. Make it clear that you're casually dating multiple people, and if either partner wants something more serious/exclusive, they say so and the other one gets to choose between either agreeing to that or breaking things off because they can't reciprocate it. It's only a problem if you mislead people.