LogFAQs > #983439189

Its been a hard year and I managed some time to visit, from Japan back to the US.

This friend has always been really bad with schedules and does a lot of stuff that turns people off. But hes my oldest friend and I liked him for other reasons.

Today though, he was being difficult with plans. He told me that today was a good day to hang out, so I told him that i needed to make sure my other friends had time too, and i would make sure everyone would have some time. We planned to see the Sonic movie (hes a huge Sonic fan) Then, i called back to confirm, and he told me his friends from out of town were over. He wanted me to come over and stay at his house. Im never really ok with this because it often turns into something weird or uncomfortable, and I dont want to end up sleeping there because my time is short while Im here. I also wanted to see him in private because I had some heavy things i was dealing with.

Anyway he keeps flip-flopping his words and contradicting himself. Hes been doing this recently for some reason. Maybe drugs, i dont know. Anyway i honestly get upset and i bit anxious because i keep catching him in lies and i quickly say ok figure it out then and get off the phone before i get too anxious. You cant call him out on lying, never have been able to.

He gets PISSED. Starts telling me you cant talk to me like that. I tell him Im upset because friends have been standing me up and making late plans and i dont feel ok going to anyones house, (i didnt tell him that it was mostly because his wife and her friends are difficult to deal with). But its true, Im trying to get someone on one time with my friends.

He started going off about how he hopes i never come back and that we never talk again. This is unusual as he has NEVER spoken violently to me before. We have known eachother for twenty years, almost. We were roommates in college. He was always drunk or high, missed school, stole stuff, and i always defended him. Gave him food or money. Let him stay at my place a bit after he moved out. I told him i just want to have a proper schedule. I mention this has happened before, when he came to Japan and didnt make time for me because he was with his other friends.

He gets pissed off more and goes off with more violent threatening rhetoric, then starts ranting about how I dont appreciate friends, and how i imagine the world is against me. Huh??? I never said anything like that. It continues like this until I tell him that Im sorry for being insensitive, and that Im just stressed and sad that i might not be able to see my friends, and to go back to Japan alone. He continues, and I think starts projecting stuff that someone else told him. Told me my apologies mean nothing because i dont mean them. How does he know what i mean? Im actually here in tears because i realize i messed up and i just dont want to go back home alone for years. I told him to go back and look at what he said in the conversation, and he says he doesnt want to. I told him id never say such things, even if i were angry. I asked him if he knew how much those specific words would hurt.

Im sorry this was long but its eating at me and i dont know what to do. He is one of my oldest and only friends left in the US. It feels like this was out of my control. I knew i reacted brashly but i dont think i deserved the threats and harsh consequences. I even tried to apologize and said i was wrong.