LogFAQs > #880811222

“It is not – well, I mean, fine. It technically is. But it is much more than that! These are candidates! One of these men or women will sit on the Iron Throne. We make them compete, have eliminations, televise the whole thing, it’ll be great! This is how we’ll frame the story!”

Lolo and Reg stared at the list, not saying anything for a while. Eventually, the silence became awkward. Lolo kept hoping Reg would say something, because he didn’t want to be the one to tell Suprak that this was all a terrible idea.

“You guys aren’t saying anything. Why aren’t you saying anything? Do you have a problem? Wait – let me guess. You love the idea too much. You’re in awe.”

“Err…not quite.” Thank the Seven Reg responded. Lolo was planning to pretend to have gone spontaneously mute and deaf, but maybe Reg could get them out of this yet.

“Not quite? So you love it just the perfect amount?”

“It’s awful. Just…almost impossibly awful.”

Suprak looked to be in shock. “What? What’s wrong with it?”

“Well, I mean, there’s a line of succession. You can’t just start picking people at random to sit on the throne. That isn’t how this works. Also, I saw a bunch of people fighting over a rat to eat on my way over here, so they definitely don’t have televisions. Also, there aren’t televisions. We keep telling you this.”

“I don’t even know how we know what a television is, to be honest.”

Reg nodded and motioned toward Lolo. “Absolutely. This already seems like really inconsistent writing.”

“And way too self referential.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but absolutely. Way too self referential.” It pleased Lolo to see Reg and him were in such agreement. At least someone here wasn’t crazy.

Suprak looked back down at the paper. “But the list itself is alright?”

“No,” Lolo and Reg responded almost in unison this time.

“This is…like a bunch of these people are known murderers. You leave them alone with the others, they’re going to start trying to kill each other.” Lolo let Reg speak now, but pointed at him and nodded his head as he made his points. “Like, well, for example this guy. Here, what did your write down next to his name. Um. ‘Put kittens….through….uh….a meat grinder’?”

“Allegedly,” Suprak interjected.

“Who alleged that?”

“He did. But, come on, are we going to take him at his word? He fed kittens through a meat grinder. Dude is NUTS.”

This wasn’t going to end well. Lolo knew that already. “Couldn’t you, I don’t know, maybe find a better group of candidates at the very least?”

“Not a chance. These are the best contenders, by far!” Suprak held up the list one more time.
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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."