Board 8 > A Feast For Crows Mafia: Topic 1 - Some Men Think Because They're Afraid To Do

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Suprak the Stud
06/10/17 10:06:03 PM
#1:


PLEASE READ THIS FIRST

The rules are long and most things are common sense. If you have questions, PM me. The important things are as follows:

1) Absolutely no deleting posts. I have a method to see who deletes posts so if you do it I'll modkill you for forcing me to waste my time to track you down.
2) No editing posts, please. You can't see the edits if a topic is archived, and this game will likely be long enough that we'll end up with archived topics.
3) Don't be a jerk. I'll PM you if I think you're crossing the line, unless you leap over it while giving everyone a middle finger at which point I'll just modkill you. No insults based on race, gender, sexual identity, or other basic stuff. Basically act like a damn human being.
4) No posting after deadline. I'll provide some leeway if you're accidentally a few seconds late, but if you seem to be doing it deliberately or if you stumble into the topic drunk three hours after deadline I will modkill you for your stupidity. Don't make me do it. DON'T
5) Make sure you paraphrase your flavor. I deliberately kept flavor to a minimum this time around because I've had to modkill people for copypasting in the past and I don't want to do it again. Each of you should have a paragraph at most, so we should have no problems this time. Right? RIGHT?!?!? If you are worried, check with me before posting it. No copying. No pasting. A brief summary is all that is needed.
6) I wouldn't meta flavor, nor would I meta me. Or do, and I'll laugh at you post game when it blows up in your face. The flavor stuff is just for stupid fun, and none of it matters in terms of the actual game stuff. I promise.
7) Other common sense stuff. Don't do dumb things. There are full in depth rules on the archives if you're curious, but these are the big things everyone messes up on so make sure you know this before posting.

DON'T POST YET PLEASE:
---
Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."
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Suprak the Stud
06/10/17 10:07:16 PM
#2:


Lolo scurried his way up the tower. He had know idea why they needed to meet so high up. He always had a fear of heights, and the routine meetings that were scheduled up here were messing with his anxiety. But he had to hurry. The raven he received summoned his and while the reason for it was vague, it was made very clear it was urgent.

The door at the top was ajar. Lolo shoved his way through, stumbling as he did so the door slammed against the far wall with a loud thud. Both Suprak and Reg were already in the room. They looked up as the thud echoed throughout the room. Reg already looked exasperated.

“Sorry I’m late,” Lolo sputtered. “I came as soon as I heard, but-“

“We have an issue.” Suprak waived him off. “The Iron Throne is vacant once more.”

“Vacant?” Lolo was confused. He wasn’t there for it, but he had heard Suprak had just finished hosting an event to determine the rightful heir of the Seven Kingdoms. “What about the Starks? Didn’t they emerge victorious just last year?”

Reg was sighing before he could finish he sentence. Suprak just cleared his throat. “Yeah, uh, about that. I may not have done my due diligence on that one. Turns out Robb Stark is dead.”

“Dead?” Lolo moved over to the nearest chair. His hand was trembling. He needed to regain his composure. “When? How did this happen?”

“When? Well, um, that’s the thing, uh, you see-“

Reg cut him off. “A year.”

Lolo couldn’t hide his confusion. “A year? Uh, how long has he been ruling again?”

“How long? Well, um, that’s the thing. Uh, you see-“

Reg once again cut him off. “A year.”

“Wait.” Lolo moved out of his chair. “He’s been dead…this whole time?”

“I said I made a mistake! Jeez. Crown a dead guy king for a year and suddenly everyone jumps on your back.”

“I told you this a year ago. I told you he was dead.” Reg slowly rubbed his temples as he spoke. “Remember? Remember how I told you he was dead?”

“I thought you were saying he’s ‘dead’ like, you know ‘a dead ringer for being king’.”

Lolo could see why Reg was so frustrated. “That’s not even a phrase.”

“I’ve heard it. People say it all the time.”

Reg slammed his fist down. “That…that isn’t even what I said, anyway! I said he was dead, his head was cut off his body and put on a direwolf, he’s being paraded around and everyone is yelling about how dead he was.”

Suprak began sushing loudly. “Look, can we move past this. I think we can all admit that we all made mistakes here. Especially Reg. But let’s not blame Reg for all of this.”

“No one is blaming Reg.”

“We’re blaming YOU.”

“The point is,” Suprak continued, seemingly oblivious to their complains, “We need a new king.”
---
Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."
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Suprak the Stud
06/10/17 10:07:57 PM
#3:


“So, let’s just have another contest. This time, no dead guys allowed. Invite the best and most worthy in all of Westeros.” Lolo had to agree with Reg. It seemed like the most sensible way to handle things.

“No, no, look, we can’t just ‘have a contest’. We need a good flavor. Some sort of framing device. That’s the key.” Suprak sat back in his seat, clearly deep in thought now. “But what to do? I’ve already done everything, you know. I did it normally. I did it musically. That’s…I’m no expert but I think that’s all the ways.”

“You know, we could just try it with no flavor,” Reg suggested. “I don’t think many people read that anyway.”

“What?” Suprak sat straight up in his seat. “We can’t just have no flavor! Everyone loves the flavor! It’s the best part!”

Lolo was truly worried now. If Suprak genuinely believed that, he was truly delusional. “I don’t think anyone thinks that’s the best part.”

“They do too! Everyone says so. They say, ‘Suprak, please stop taking so long to do the flips. Some of us have to go to bed.’ And I say, ‘I know what you want. More flavor.’”

Lolo and Reg began trying to talk Suprak out of some sort of elaborate flavor, but it was clearly too late. Their protests feel on deaf ears and Suprak only sat deep in his seat, contemplating how to proceed. Finally, after five minutes or so, he clapped his hands together and laughed.

“I know what we can do! We’ll do a reality show! Everyone loves reality shows!”

Reg shook his head. “No one loves reality shows. Also, reality shows aren’t even a concept yet. We don’t have television.”

Lolo agreed. “This is very anachronistic.”

“You’re anachronistic, man! You don’t see me saying anything about it. I wasn’t even going to say anything, but people have been talking. I don’t agree with them, honestly. I just thought you should know.”

“I don’t think he knows what that word means,” Reg muttered to Lolo. Lolo nodded.

“I do too know what it means!” Suprak looked back and forth between the two of them.

“Define it for us, then.”

“Use it in a sentence.”

“Uh. Look, I don’t have time for this now. Don’t worry about it. You’re being anachronistic, so just fix that and we won’t have a problem,” Suprak returned to his desk and began shuffling through some papers.

“He doesn’t know what it means,” Reg muttered again.

Lolo looked distraught. Why did he sign up for this? The last game he cohosted wasn’t nearly this dumb. He began checking around the room for a window to escape out of. He knew they were at the very top of the highest tower of the Red Keep. He just didn’t care any more.

Before Lolo could find a means to escape, Suprak returned a slammed a list down on the table in front of the two of them. He looked quite proud of himself, but Lolo couldn’t quite figure out why.

“A list.”

A quick glance at the paper proved Reg was right. It was indeed a list.

“This is not a list,” Suprak said shaking his head.

It was definitely a list.

“It is too. There are numbers and names next to it.”

Lolo had to agree. “Yeah, that’s a list.”
---
Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."
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Suprak the Stud
06/10/17 10:08:53 PM
#4:


“It is not – well, I mean, fine. It technically is. But it is much more than that! These are candidates! One of these men or women will sit on the Iron Throne. We make them compete, have eliminations, televise the whole thing, it’ll be great! This is how we’ll frame the story!”

Lolo and Reg stared at the list, not saying anything for a while. Eventually, the silence became awkward. Lolo kept hoping Reg would say something, because he didn’t want to be the one to tell Suprak that this was all a terrible idea.

“You guys aren’t saying anything. Why aren’t you saying anything? Do you have a problem? Wait – let me guess. You love the idea too much. You’re in awe.”

“Err…not quite.” Thank the Seven Reg responded. Lolo was planning to pretend to have gone spontaneously mute and deaf, but maybe Reg could get them out of this yet.

“Not quite? So you love it just the perfect amount?”

“It’s awful. Just…almost impossibly awful.”

Suprak looked to be in shock. “What? What’s wrong with it?”

“Well, I mean, there’s a line of succession. You can’t just start picking people at random to sit on the throne. That isn’t how this works. Also, I saw a bunch of people fighting over a rat to eat on my way over here, so they definitely don’t have televisions. Also, there aren’t televisions. We keep telling you this.”

“I don’t even know how we know what a television is, to be honest.”

Reg nodded and motioned toward Lolo. “Absolutely. This already seems like really inconsistent writing.”

“And way too self referential.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but absolutely. Way too self referential.” It pleased Lolo to see Reg and him were in such agreement. At least someone here wasn’t crazy.

Suprak looked back down at the paper. “But the list itself is alright?”

“No,” Lolo and Reg responded almost in unison this time.

“This is…like a bunch of these people are known murderers. You leave them alone with the others, they’re going to start trying to kill each other.” Lolo let Reg speak now, but pointed at him and nodded his head as he made his points. “Like, well, for example this guy. Here, what did your write down next to his name. Um. ‘Put kittens….through….uh….a meat grinder’?”

“Allegedly,” Suprak interjected.

“Who alleged that?”

“He did. But, come on, are we going to take him at his word? He fed kittens through a meat grinder. Dude is NUTS.”

This wasn’t going to end well. Lolo knew that already. “Couldn’t you, I don’t know, maybe find a better group of candidates at the very least?”

“Not a chance. These are the best contenders, by far!” Suprak held up the list one more time.
---
Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."
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Suprak the Stud
06/10/17 10:12:15 PM
#5:


The Playerlist (17):
1) @bng_mmmk
2) @DoomTheGyarados
3) @dowolf
4) @FFDragon
5) @HanOfTheNekos
6) @htaeD
7) @Jeff_Zero
8) @Leafeon13N
9) @Leo3L
10) @MajinZidane
---
Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."
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Suprak the Stud
06/10/17 10:12:30 PM
#6:


11) @My_Immortal
12) @MysteriousStan
13) @Nanahara715
14) @ScareChan
15) @Shaduln
16) @Vengeful_KBM
17) @VeryInsane

With 17 alive it takes 9 to lynch. Day ends Monday at 9 PM CST (roughly 48 hours from now).

GO
TO THE GO
GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO

(psst: go)

---
Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."
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bng_mmmk
06/10/17 10:12:55 PM
#7:


pick me guys
---
turbopuns
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bng_mmmk
06/10/17 10:13:54 PM
#8:


scum team:

Chris
Boko
MI
Han
Shad

you're welcome

##Vote: Chris
---
turbopuns
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:14:36 PM
#9:


##vote: Nanahara715

Jaime Lannister sends his regards.
---
Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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MenuWars
06/10/17 10:14:38 PM
#10:


Tag.
---
I'm bad at Maffs.
BEDMAS Bioshock, Earthworm Jim, Diablo 2, Mass Effect 2, Ark: Survival Evolved, Super Meat Boy
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Peridiam
06/10/17 10:16:22 PM
#11:


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FFDragon
06/10/17 10:16:31 PM
#12:


hello darkness my old friend
---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
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Jeff Zero
06/10/17 10:17:33 PM
#13:


(Is this thing on?)

Hello? H, hi there.
---
Intel Ops 1964 Kennedy | Die Hard Drive with a Vengeance | 54x Carthaginian Corsair Privateer | Guardian Force Bahamut
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:18:16 PM
#14:


bng_mmmk posted...
scum team:

Chris
Boko
MI
Han
Shad

you're welcome

##Vote: Chris


*Looks at that list*

Not a fan of User of the Year winners, huh.
---
Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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FFDragon
06/10/17 10:18:49 PM
#15:


seems to like me just fine
---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:19:37 PM
#16:


Did you win it? I thought you lost to tranny.
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Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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bng_mmmk
06/10/17 10:20:28 PM
#17:


I wouldn't know who's ever won UotY anyway. But who is Jaime lannister and what does it have to do with Nana?
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turbopuns
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FFDragon
06/10/17 10:20:51 PM
#18:


that is the most hateful thing you've ever said to me
---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:20:56 PM
#19:


bng_mmmk posted...
I wouldn't know who's ever won UotY anyway. But who is Jaime lannister and what does it have to do with Nana?


...

Surely you are joking.
---
Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:21:32 PM
#20:


FFDragon posted...
that is the most hateful thing you've ever said to me


In fairness isn't that a very low bar because I almost always say nothing but completely glowing things about you? Also I've had 2 to 3 mental breakdowns since you won UotY (I wiki'd it) give me a break.
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Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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MysteriousStan
06/10/17 10:21:35 PM
#21:


I feel like I've been transported back to the early 2010's looking at that list.

How's everyone doing? Playing Persona 5 right now myself. It's p. great.
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Jeff Zero
06/10/17 10:22:12 PM
#22:


Jaime Lannister is Jaime fucking Lannister.
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FFDragon
06/10/17 10:22:38 PM
#23:


I feel like I even hosted a UotY mafia once.

On the basis that I was a winner and could do it right.

You may have even played in that one!
---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
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bng_mmmk
06/10/17 10:22:43 PM
#24:


DoomTheGyarados posted...
bng_mmmk posted...
I wouldn't know who's ever won UotY anyway. But who is Jaime lannister and what does it have to do with Nana?


...

Surely you are joking.


bng_mmmk posted...
In addition to knowing nothing about GoT, I also know nothing about Suprak's GoT mafia games. I did play in Fuck 2016 Mafia, though.


Nope!
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turbopuns
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:23:06 PM
#25:


I am currently at work filling out information for clients for shore excursions and blah blah work stuff.

Also I am in a very echoy room.
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Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:24:20 PM
#26:


FFDragon posted...
I feel like I even hosted a UotY mafia once.

On the basis that I was a winner and could do it right.

You may have even played in that one!


This... sounds... vaguely familiar. Actually... hold on... was this the one where I had the scum team almost entirely nailed but no one listened to me and then town lost predictably because they couldn't be bothered to listen to literal town chris?
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Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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bng_mmmk
06/10/17 10:24:54 PM
#27:


MysteriousStan posted...
I feel like I've been transported back to the early 2010's looking at that list.

How's everyone doing? Playing Persona 5 right now myself. It's p. great.


glad to have you back! When was the last time you played? I'm currently playing FFX for the first time.
---
turbopuns
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My Immortal
06/10/17 10:26:32 PM
#28:


C'mon Feast of Crows Mafia, let's get...

...this over with.
---
#VnaaVimmDrnuddma
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:26:35 PM
#29:


Persona 5 is great, what date are you on?
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Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:27:24 PM
#30:


bng_mmmk posted...
DoomTheGyarados posted...
bng_mmmk posted...
I wouldn't know who's ever won UotY anyway. But who is Jaime lannister and what does it have to do with Nana?


...

Surely you are joking.


bng_mmmk posted...
In addition to knowing nothing about GoT, I also know nothing about Suprak's GoT mafia games. I did play in Fuck 2016 Mafia, though.


Nope!


Jaime Lannister is one of the main players in GoT and the line I quoted is said by another character right before killing them. It's kind of a big quote.
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Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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My Immortal
06/10/17 10:27:33 PM
#31:


bng_mmmk posted...
scum team:

Chris
Boko
MI
Han
Shad

you're welcome

##Vote: Chris

God I wish I was on a scum team that stacked.

Although in this game I think any scum tell will end up feeling stacked
---
#VnaaVimmDrnuddma
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:29:35 PM
#32:


Would that be considered a stacked scum team? Boko is a far better town player than scum, I guess I don't know about MI's exploits, Han was never a good scum player and I don't think Shad is like really great or anything and apparently I was super obvious to everyone who wasn't alive last game so I mean...!

top scum team would be like ffd/red/stan/vi (because he is never scum and would get an autopass/and yeah lovable me.
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Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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My Immortal
06/10/17 10:30:28 PM
#33:


DoomTheGyarados posted...
I am currently at work filling out information for clients for shore excursions and blah blah work stuff.

Also I am in a very echoy room.

Are you still working for the gay cruise people

Can you get me a free gay cruise
---
#VnaaVimmDrnuddma
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bng_mmmk
06/10/17 10:31:32 PM
#34:


My Immortal posted...
C'mon Feast of Crows Mafia, let's get...

...this over with.


Is this another GoT quote?

Am I going to have to spend the whole game sifting through flavor references.
---
turbopuns
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MysteriousStan
06/10/17 10:31:49 PM
#35:


bng_mmmk posted...
MysteriousStan posted...
I feel like I've been transported back to the early 2010's looking at that list.

How's everyone doing? Playing Persona 5 right now myself. It's p. great.


glad to have you back! When was the last time you played? I'm currently playing FFX for the first time.

Oh man, I don't even remember. Inception maybe? No wait, I think I took a big break after Inception and then it was Dresden Files cause I mean...it's fucking Dresden Files.

DoomTheGyarados posted...
Persona 5 is great, what date are you on?

6/10. Just met this Akechi dude at the TV Station.
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:31:59 PM
#36:


Not only am I working for the gay cruise people but I am now in charge of all of the technical information for a select amount of cruises with them.

No free gay cruises though.
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Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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Jeff Zero
06/10/17 10:32:11 PM
#37:


I don't remember a quote like that and I have at least 70% of the episodic scripts memorized. Could be ASOIAF but doesn't feel like GRRM.
---
Intel Ops 1964 Kennedy | Die Hard Drive with a Vengeance | 54x Carthaginian Corsair Privateer | Guardian Force Bahamut
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FFDragon
06/10/17 10:32:18 PM
#38:


bng_mmmk posted...
Am I going to have to spend the whole game sifting through flavor references.


if I have anything to say about it, yes.

it's what you deserve for taking a spot in a game where you don't know the flavor
---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
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My Immortal
06/10/17 10:32:27 PM
#39:


DoomTheGyarados posted...
Would that be considered a stacked scum team? Boko is a far better town player than scum, I guess I don't know about MI's exploits, Han was never a good scum player and I don't think Shad is like really great or anything and apparently I was super obvious to everyone who wasn't alive last game so I mean...!

top scum team would be like ffd/red/stan/vi (because he is never scum and would get an autopass/and yeah lovable me.

I've literally never played with Boko! I think Han and shad are good scum, at least in my experience. And I like to think I'm good.

You go without saying.
---
#VnaaVimmDrnuddma
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:34:12 PM
#40:


So FFD, if you were scum looking for a mislynch and assuming no one player was for sure your scum buddy, which do you think would be the easiest to pull off?
---
Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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My Immortal
06/10/17 10:36:40 PM
#41:


bng_mmmk posted...
My Immortal posted...
C'mon Feast of Crows Mafia, let's get...

...this over with.


Is this another GoT quote?

Am I going to have to spend the whole game sifting through flavor references.

No it's a random RuPaul quote from the episode I'm currently watching.
---
#VnaaVimmDrnuddma
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FFDragon
06/10/17 10:38:27 PM
#42:


By sheer force of will I think it would be super easy to trip Jeff up since he's never played mafia before.

I have no clue who Nana is, so again I think I could probably bully them.

Of all the regulars though, I think Leo would probably be the easiest lynch that would draw the least amount of red flags.
---
If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
#theresafreakingghostafterus
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:39:05 PM
#43:


Oh speaking of fun things, if we end day in the next 90 minutes or so with a red lynch that would be two games in a row red was lynched day 1 while working.

Somewhere around 25-33% chance of this being successful, whose with me?
---
Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:41:15 PM
#44:


FFDragon posted...
By sheer force of will I think it would be super easy to trip Jeff up since he's never played mafia before.

I have no clue who Nana is, so again I think I could probably bully them.

Of all the regulars though, I think Leo would probably be the easiest lynch that would draw the least amount of red flags.


Nana actually likes to roar a little bit, he's pretty adorable.

Yeah Leo's a pretty soft lynch target.
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Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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My Immortal
06/10/17 10:42:32 PM
#45:


DoomTheGyarados posted...
Oh speaking of fun things, if we end day in the next 90 minutes or so with a red lynch that would be two games in a row red was lynched day 1 while working.

Somewhere around 25-33% chance of this being successful, whose with me?

As a casual observer last game, that was a horrible town move, so....
---
#VnaaVimmDrnuddma
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bng_mmmk
06/10/17 10:42:32 PM
#46:


DoomTheGyarados posted...
Oh speaking of fun things, if we end day in the next 90 minutes or so with a red lynch that would be two games in a row red was lynched day 1 while working.

Somewhere around 25-33% chance of this being successful, whose with me?


Well the last time red was lynched while working you were scum who led it and he was town, sooo...liking my vote more now. :D

FFDragon posted...
it's what you deserve for taking a spot in a game where you don't know the flavor


fair enough. but no way I could pass up this player list.

speaking of which, I don't know if I've ever been in a game with as much talent top to bottom. wondering if that's going to make it easier or harder to sniff out scum without a gaggle of newbies stumbling around in the mix.
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turbopuns
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VeryInsane
06/10/17 10:43:05 PM
#47:


FFDragon posted...
By sheer force of will I think it would be super easy to trip Jeff up since he's never played mafia before.

I have no clue who Nana is, so again I think I could probably bully them.

Of all the regulars though, I think Leo would probably be the easiest lynch that would draw the least amount of red flags.


Leo's probably not even in the 5 easiest IMO

Well, it depends on his mood really but yeah.
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BK_Sheikah took the guru, and it makes sense because he's both Banjo Kazooie and OOT!
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Jeff Zero
06/10/17 10:43:39 PM
#48:


FFD is totally right about me.
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Intel Ops 1964 Kennedy | Die Hard Drive with a Vengeance | 54x Carthaginian Corsair Privateer | Guardian Force Bahamut
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bng_mmmk
06/10/17 10:43:44 PM
#49:


STP with MI and me calling out Chris for his scummy red lynch!

vote chris tbqh
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turbopuns
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DoomTheGyarados
06/10/17 10:44:07 PM
#50:


Man I know I am pretty focused as a mafia player but two people seemingly taking that at face value? Geesh.
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Sir Chris
The Cult of Personality
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