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TopicThe Onion breaking news: Biden gets facelift to ease worries about his age.
The_Sock
09/07/23 9:52:31 PM
#1:


For the most part, I like Biden, but this gave me a good laugh (I trust his judgment over someone like Trump, DeSantis, or MTG any day of the week).

https://www.theonion.com/biden-attempts-to-ease-worries-about-his-age-with-drama-1850814132

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/8/7/AACYYCAAE0hH.jpg

WASHINGTONAmid startled screams and gasps as the 46th commander in chief addressed the country, President Joe Biden attempted to ease worries about his age Thursday with a dramatic facelift. My fellow Americans, people will try and argue that Im unfit for office, but as you can see, Im feeling younger than ever, said the 80-year-old Biden, who then struggled to work his mouth into a flirty pout after various cosmetic procedures left him with overly tight skin and lips and cheeks swollen with filler. While Republicans say I should retire, I promise you, Im not going anywhere. In many ways, I still feel like a teenager! And I look like one, too. At press time, Bidens face had reportedly collapsed after the president attempted to wink and several hundred stitches burst out of his hairline.

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