LogFAQs > #976870164

Communication with the chuds proved difficult. They had been cut off from the heartland long enough that they had developed their own language rooted in ancient chudskrit. Based entirely off of metaphor, feelings, and their shared cultural history; the communication went something like this:

Chud: gesturing between us "Bush and Cheney, on the campaign trail"
me: nodding, and pointing to myself, expressing extreme sorrow "Trump, when the votes were counted"
Chud: expressing courage and pointing to me "Washington! Crossing the Delaware!"
Me: Offering him a candy bar "Washington lobby groups, their arms wide."

Eventually, Chudrick took me to their leader, and I looked up upon a majestic throne of pillows - standing clean and pristine as the driven snow, amongst the shit and vile waste of the big city.

I took a knee and bowed my head, "Mypillow.com guy. I've heard much about you from your affiliates. I have used online code STOPTHESTEAL to get 25% off my online order. I come seeking your aid. For I have but two days before the woke mind virus completely takes hold and the full moon shines brightest. Please, help. I dare not to sleep lest I become woke once more."