LogFAQs > #896665352

You lost your job about a month ago. Your boss said it wasn't your fault. After all, all you did was type numbers into a computer for eight hours a day. Unfortunately, another company was willing to type numbers at a lower rate than your company, so you lost your client and got laid off.

Losing your job put you in a bit of a depression, so you've been eating a lot more and moving a lot less. Your life is now video games and collecting unemployment checks. Your friends have tried boosting your spirits by expressing their jealously that you don't have to go to work for a while, and you've been putting on a brave face by calling your new, sad life "funemployment". But your brave face is a lot jowlier than your old face.

You reach for another short stack of salty comfort food but your arm stops before you can grab the few remaining chips at the bottom of the can. Determined, you take a deep breath and shove your arm further into the Pringles can. God, it's really wedged in there now, but the chips still avoid you, mere inches away. "To hell with it, I'll just take my arm out and pour the chips onto the table like a quitter," you think to yourself.

You attempt to yank your hand out of the can but it doesn't budge. You strain and pull a little harder this time but to no avail. You clutch the can with your meaty thighs. With a slew of grunts and grimaces, you try to free your hand from it's cylindrical prison. Nothing.

"Fuck I might be in some trouble here," you call out to your empty apartment, voice cracking from panic. You head to the fridge and find the butter. You lather up your arm in a desperate act of makeshift lubrication. You instinctively give the butter on your arm a small lick. "No!" you scold yourself. That's how you got yourself into this mess in the first place. Lubing up your arm offers no hope, however, as your arm is still firmly one with the canister. You stare your new mustachioed god in the eyes. "Fuck you," you whisper defiantly.

It's 11 AM on a Tuesday. While everyone else is at work, you're stuck inside a Pringles can.

What do you do?

A) Call your girlfriend at work and ask her for help.
B) Grab another can of Pringles from the pantry.
C) Check your email about potential job interviews.
D) Attempt to break the can by smashing it against things in your apartment.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.