LogFAQs > #903689865

hollow_shrine posted...

Straight up telling people that they're being emotionally and physically abused and describing that abuse back to them rarely works. It can even be counter productive because it further dis-empowers the victim, something the abuser is likely already doing, reinforcing the idea that they need their abusers. Also, we have a cultural stigma about being seen as a victim in this country. She has to make that mental jump under her own power.

Try and get her to talk to you and try to explain to her that her that her injuries are not her fault, her safety and comfort are more important than her relationship, and she does have options even if she can't see them now right now. Don't discount the helpfulness of professional support. Most importantly listen.

Before having the conversation, I'd also do some reading about strategies of talking to abuse victims about their abuse. Read how abuse victims interpreted their friends and family's efforts to help them, and try to understand why so many of them often resist the help at first.

All of this

Don't try to take control of the situation and act for her (e.g. by calling authorities) because that could just make things worse and/or shut her off from you without resolving anything
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