LogFAQs > #904541737

Why? So I can be forced to go to the gym to avoid regressing back to my overweight self? No thanks. EnvyFox doesn't do physical fitness, man, and I'd just end up constantly shaving years off of my life via magic to keep myself looking like a bronze god.

Ladies and gentlemen, trading life for a good build is a serious addiction that is ruining this great nation. I, together with my partners at Death Upon Magic Bodybuilding, are joining forces to spread awareness about the dangers of losing precious years of your life in order to get instantly fit. Having a body that won't get you thrown back into the ocean with the rest of the whales is not worth aging rapidly for. Dying hurts like the dickens (or so I've heard) and taking a shortcut to that painful process os just ignorant. If you're thinking about taking this deal or have already done so in the past, stop it. Get some help. You're better than that and shouldn't be ashamed for being the shape you are. You should instead ridicule those who take the time to get fit in the first place. I mean, c'mon... wasting their days away at some gym lifting heavy objects and twisting their bodies into weird shapes while we get to enjoy burgers and sit on our butts all day relaxing? And WE'RE the shameful ones? I don't think so! They can't even grow a second chin! What good are their opinions anyhow? Anyway, Melissa McCarthy for president, y'all. I'm outtie!