LogFAQs > #905246444

Whoops, meant to give my thoughts on the advice.

When I first heard this, it kinda angered me actually. Especially the fact that the two men sitting in the room agreed with it. I think the advice is 100% wrong and doesn't really consider the full situation, particularly from Guy 1's perspective.

First of all, she's telling the girl to basically do some sneaky/shady stuff. Since when is THAT ever the right answer in a relationship? If you think he'd be pissed about it now, imagine how pissed he will be after he's found that he's not the father, while putting in all these resources.

The problem here is that she's essentially making a choice for him. Instead of telling him the full truth and allowing him to make a decision on whether or not he wants to go through with the DNA, sign the birth certificate, pay for doctor visits, etc, she's going to wait until he's already invested time/money/energy/emotions into the child and then potentially blindside him. And what if the child ends up not being his? He's got his name on the birth certificate, it will be incredibly difficult to get it off after the fact. He's already wasted time and money on a kid that isn't his under false pretenses.

And how long exactly will it be before she gets this secret DNA test? Day 1? A week later? A month later? 6 months? Once again, potentially allowing him to invest tons of resources into a kid that he might not otherwise, while also legally having him by the balls because he signed the birth certificate.

Basically the only reason to not tell him is because she's afraid of the consequences. Well tough shit. You created this mess, now you have to deal with it as an adult. My feeling is that she should tell him. If he decides he wants to stick around regardless, well at least it's HIS choice. If he decides he doesn't want to do anything until he is sure, well once again tough shit, but don't have him potentially grow attached to a kid that may not be his.
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https://imgur.com/PHWbltB