LogFAQs > #931396887

(Milhouse)

First an alarm, then Milhouse was suddenly propelled upwards. The artificial lights of the arena blinded him as the lift finally came to a stop. He was no slouch, really. He had seen the movies, so he knew what to expect. Getting past the bloodbath at the beginning of the game was the easy part. Short of being overzealous and making a beeline for a weapon for the absolutely surest way to get killed, and Milhouse, allergies and all, knew he had no chance of outmuscling some of the competition.

By the time his eyes adjusted to the light, a voice shouted over the speakers positioned on the metal canopy that dwarfed every survival item needed. The Cornocopia. It kept speaking, but Milhouses nerves and rapid heartbeat kept him from clearly hearing everything. Not that it mattered, he was privy to the rules. This was for /their/ benefit, not his. He knew the rules, he knew what to expect.

He gazed at the opposition. Directly to his left, Jack McFarland stretched, butt out, not limber at all, and clearly doing it for the attention. Jack gave a kissy face to Goku, who didnt seem to understand the implication of the motion. Goku kissed back.

3

Milhouse was brought back to his senses. This was it.

2

Jack continued stretching. This time attempting, and failing, to stretch his legs up near his head.

He slipped off the platform. A grave error.

BOOM!

A shriek, clearly overacted, but that was Jacks whole thing.

23 Contestants left, right off the bat. Better chances for him to win, but less cannon fodder for the muscle of the competition to go after.

2

1

An alarm blared, Milhouse hesitated stepping off his platform, watching as the rest of the competition set off. Some directly for the center of the treasure spot, others right for the forest just behind him. Organized chaos, just as he had anticipated.

The biggest surprise was Baby Yoda jumping for a small package just a few yards away from his station, and then darting away. Not a welcome surprise. This was something he would likely have to deal with later. This was his time. He wasnt going to go for a weapon, he wasnt even going to try for the smaller backpacks spread around the field. He was going to run.

And run he did.

Screams of agony had already sounded, and Milhouse didnt have the good sense to not look back. Mia Smoak , in the seconds since the game started, she had already gotten into Randy Ortons face and knocked him to the ground. A second later, she had a knife right to his chest.

Yikes, Oliver probably wouldnt recognize her like this, but he figured that was just how people be. The second kill. 22 people, and more to follow. Milhouse continued his sprint away as fast as his little legs could carry him. But something was wrong.

Dont leave yet! The voice was too excited for the situation. In a flash Goku teleported right in front of him, put a hand on his face, and in a flash, Milhouse was teleported right to the center of the Cornocopia. Seconds later, Ronald McDonald, Britney Spears, and Winnie the Pooh were right beside him. They were just as shocked as him. Goku was making a power play. Making sure as many people as possible would get knocked out right off the bat.
Milhouse wasnt about to go and stand and watch anymore, but now he couldnt dream of leaving right at the moment. The others, the heavy hitters, Bobobo, Commander Shepard, and The Doctor, the first one, were already trading blows, punching, kicking, slapping. He thought he saw Britney dance in place, before sashaying off into the woods again. A bad move.

The Doctor saw her recite Work Bitch on her way to a backpack, and lunged forward faster than he had anticipated. The Doctor wrestled it out of her hands, and knocked her down. But he wasnt done there. He was out for blood and knew what he had to do. Using the strap of the backpack, he pinned her to the ground by her neck.

She clawed at his skin, but his Doctor magic was instantly healing.

Toxic is NOT a traditional American Ballad!

Milhouse understood that reference.

Britney Spears was dead, but her legacy would live on through him and the hearts and minds of gays everywhere.

Bless her soul.

21 left.

Leaving would be a mistake, so Milhouse crawled to the safest haven he could find, behind a box of arrows.

Fist of the nose hair!

Milhouses hiding spot was blasted away by a mass of hair. There had to be something to do, and he needed to figure out what.

Bayonetta had just started delivering an aerial wombo combo on Hank Hill, though he managed to break out of the move just before getting more than 25% damage. She turned his attention to Milhouse.

He beelined away again. Running came with the risk of getting instant transmissioned back to the center, but staying put was just as dandgerous.

Fist of the Nose Hair!

If this was an attacked named at him, it mustve missed entirely, because all he felt from the blow was a small prick on his back. He ran.

And ran.

And ran.

He ran until the Cornocopia was far behind him and the screams of battle had stopped.

He was getting woozy. Maybe he shouldve worked on his cardio.

He ran until he physically couldnt anymore. A stream of rushing water impeded any more progress forward. But this was fine, right? He sat down, refraining from drinking the water. He knew the game makers often poisoned the water in the arena for easy kills.

Just as he sat down, on a cool stone, he noticed something on his back. A piece of metal. A dart?

The woozy feeling hadnt gone away with rest. Instead, it was worse.

Milhouses throat tightened. This was bad. He was poisoned. It was over before it even started.

As the world around him grew dark, and the milky sweetness of death enveloped his very being, he heard one last voice. A laugh.

Hah, HAAAAH!

20 Contestants remain.
6 days before the finale.

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