LogFAQs > #947376972

After Jared was outed as a pedophile, Subway is looking for a new mascot and they have an new marketing idea.

It's going to be you and a really attractive fit girl as a brother and sister duo and the running theme/joke of the ads is that she is really smart and cunning and eats all the healthy subs. And you're really fat and gross and dumb eat all the unhealthy ones. Like meatballs and shit.

The logic being that the Jared campaign, while successful only appealed to a certain demographic and didn't advertise their unhealthy subs at all. So your 'sister' is taking Jared's role and you're advertising the unhealthy subs by appearing carefree and spontaneous. To the "I don't give a fuck" American.

So it'll be stuff like you're trying to devise a plan to sneak past some guards and it'll show a montage of her coming up with clever ideas and shit while eating a 6 inch turkey sub, but then when she returns to the scene with gear in hand she'll find you lying on the floor with the guards half passed out drinking beers. Your shirt is covered in stains and you're wolfing down Footlong Meatball subs while saying (with your mouthful) "I think I found a solution sis!" Then she sighs and steps over you.

Stuff like that.

For the campaign to work you have to be really fat. And like with Jared there's an actual weight clause in your contract, only inverted. You have to always be above a certain weight at all times to maintain the campaign or else you're in violation of your agreement.



It's a 10 year contract paying out $1,000,000 a year before tax.

Would you take it?

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^ Hey now that's completely unfair!
https://imgur.com/yPw05Ob