Current Events > $10,000,000 but you have to become (or remain) really fat for a decade.

(+) Yeah! (+)

After Jared was outed as a pedophile, Subway is looking for a new mascot and they have an new marketing idea.

It's going to be you and a really attractive fit girl as a brother and sister duo and the running theme/joke of the ads is that she is really smart and cunning and eats all the healthy subs. And you're really fat and gross and dumb eat all the unhealthy ones. Like meatballs and shit.

The logic being that the Jared campaign, while successful only appealed to a certain demographic and didn't advertise their unhealthy subs at all. So your 'sister' is taking Jared's role and you're advertising the unhealthy subs by appearing carefree and spontaneous. To the "I don't give a fuck" American.

So it'll be stuff like you're trying to devise a plan to sneak past some guards and it'll show a montage of her coming up with clever ideas and shit while eating a 6 inch turkey sub, but then when she returns to the scene with gear in hand she'll find you lying on the floor with the guards half passed out drinking beers. Your shirt is covered in stains and you're wolfing down Footlong Meatball subs while saying (with your mouthful) "I think I found a solution sis!" Then she sighs and steps over you.

Stuff like that.

For the campaign to work you have to be really fat. And like with Jared there's an actual weight clause in your contract, only inverted. You have to always be above a certain weight at all times to maintain the campaign or else you're in violation of your agreement.



It's a 10 year contract paying out $1,000,000 a year before tax.

Would you take it?

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Extremely tempting, but I don't think I would take it considering the health risks, how much it would suck just to get around being that fat, and having to deal with getting rid of the weight afterward.

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No thanks.

I have nothing against really big people but I would never ever want to be big like that.

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-l___________l- posted...

10 years is a long time, I could have a heart attack or something

Define "really fat" though

I dunno your height or how muscular you are so I can't give a set figure but like the guy in the picture.

You have to look like a guy people would point at and go "that guy is really fat."

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No point to money if I can't properly fuck.

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I already have heart problems, being "really fat" would be really bad for me.

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I would hire a cadre of doctors, dietitians, and personal trainers to keep me relatively healthy through the 10-year period. I would probably have to develop a sumo wrestlers physique.

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HELL YEAH BRoTHER

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What is the cut off weight

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It would be tempting because I would never have to work again, but just gaining a little weight makes me feel so horrible. I don't want to spend the rest of my 30s feeling horrible. It would not just physically drain me, but also mentally. I like having quality of life. I go take long walks and being that fat would be so straining.

That's not even considering the health issues that come along with it all. Hell no! I've been able to wear same size jeans since I was a teenager.