LogFAQs > #947887363

Kyuubi4269 posted...

thing is I talk to normal human beings who happily go by nicknames assigned to them by their friend group

And in your busy social life, what have you observed is the consequence of assigning normal human beings nicknames they don't like, and insisting on using those names despite their objections?

WhatAShame posted...

and if you called him Puff Daddy after he changed to P. Diddy (Whether by accident or on purpose) you didn't get called a bigot or accused of not respecting Mr. P. Diddy's rights

As much as people like to perpetuate the whole "zero tolerance for using the wrong name" myth, it's actually pretty rare to see that (at least outside of the bowels of Tumblr, and most people would agree that's not a place that's worth hanging out). The vast majority of people - whether allies or actual trans/genderqueer people - recognize that changing habits and correcting first impressions can be hard and that mistakes are inevitable. What does get met with hostility is not merely making mistakes, but the refusal to apologize or accept corrections when it's pointed out that one has. Using the wrong name or pronouns happens, but that's only a bad thing if you insist you didn't make a mistake.

Of course, regardless of that, even if it were true that there's no tolerance for mistakes, that still doesn't serve as an argument against the respectful course of action being the use of the correct name. It remains factually true that it is disrespectful to ignore somebody's wishes to be referred to differently, and no amount of pointing out what a bunch of douchebags the people saying that hypothetically are will change that reality. The bottom line is to be nice to people, and you can still do that just fine even if third parties aren't being nice to you.

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