Mershaaay posted...
neonreaper888 posted...
\it will be better on the other side of it. not at first especially not for her. if you ever do procreate properly it will be very hard to deal with. it was tough for me early, and that girl from HS and I broke up a long time ago and it wasn't a big deal anymore and then like 15 years later I just feel awful when I think about it.
yeah that's the lingering issue... I dont think I will ever want/deserve to have a baby (even if she is properly prepared to have it health-wise). And I used to really want a kid some day before all this...
After that, I dated the girl another year, we didn't really want kids obviously... too young and she just didn't want kids period. I went through the next few years feeling GREAT about the decision, what a disaster it would have been. That girl would have ruined my baby and I just wanted to headbang to some music get drunk chase girls and play Quake.
Years later I was a bit more mellow about it, very pragmatic. And I go through life like that, pragmatic, thinking the world is cold and random and so what. Nothing too deep or dark.. again, just pragmatic.
And then as life goes on and I see the ultrasound of my little baby-to-be...
I'm so happy. I have days, though, where I an mostly overcome with grief and have a hard time figuring out how to cope with it. If you have any ideas feel free to share
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"would a sausage by any other name smell as sweet?"