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LurkerFAQs ( 06.29.2011-09.11.2012 ), Active DB, DB1, DB2, DB3, DB4, DB5, DB6, DB7, DB8, DB9, DB10, DB11, DB12, Clear
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TopicAnagram rates Pokemon part 7: This is now technically the seventh topic
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07/01/11 1:03:00 PM
#35:


Lights, Camerupt, Action!
"It's a spaceship, but it sinks?"
"Yes."

Score: 3.5/10

The heroes decide to go to Lilycove City to catch a ferry to the next gym. Hey, remember how one day ago you stopped a battle between Rayquaza and Deoxys? No? Okay. They come across a guy, Elijah, next to a river. His Camerupt is stuck, so the heroes decide to help push it through.
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You might ask why Elijah doesn't just put it back in its pokeball and then wade the river himself, but I have an explanation for you: Panda Express. Panda Express did it.

Camerupt is carrying a movie projector, and Elijah explains that he travels from town to town to show people movies. You see, a lot of towns are so small that they can't afford a theater, but people in them still like movies, and even though he doesn't get paid to do it, Elijah feels obligated to help these people experience film. There are so many things wrong with this idea that I could come with like twenty-to-thirty points. I'm going to list three.
- I have a hard time believing that there are any small towns in the modern world that have no ability to construct a movie theater. I know there are actually some people in Africa who do what Elijah does, but that's because a lot of African countries are so poor that my computer speakers are worth more than what villagers earn in a week.
- These towns are located between Fortree City and Lilycove City, two major cities. Any two large cities will have traffic move between them, and small towns in the area will benefit from this. There are even some small towns, like Baker (located between LA and Las Vegas), that do nothing but leverage this fact by constructing easily seen fast food restaurants from the freeway to attract as much money as possible. There's no way a town between two major cities would be so poor that it couldn't afford a movie theater.
- Elijah later mentions that the towns still have postal services. Wouldn't it be better for everyone to just have a single projector at each of their town halls and be mailed the movies? A movie projector is only a few hundred dollars, and a film reel is like twenty dollars or something.

The current movie Elijah has with him? "Plusle and Minun and the Princess Rescue." You would think taking multiple movies with him wouldn't be difficult, but whatever. Not only does he take the projector with him and travel, he reads the dialogue as well. You see, he brings silent movies that require a living narrator to read the script. Hell, man, I could write up twenty-to-thirty things wrong with that except that I already made this joke.

The heroes decide to go with Elijah. After a boring traveling montage that I couldn't think of any good jokes for, they make camp for the night, and the heroes have flashbacks to the last time they saw movies.
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They reach the town,
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And Team Rocket steals the projector. That's it. That's literally it. Team Rocket's evil plan is to steal a projector for silent movies. I'm serious. The tailoring for their custom uniforms probably cost more than the a silent movie projector is worth, and their plan is to steal the projector.

Well, Ashpikachuthunderboltblastingoffaaaaaaggggaaaaiiin.

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Started: July 6, 2005
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