The Relicanth Really Can
"We'll be rich! We'll be famous! We'll wear silk pajamas!"
Score: 4/10
Did you know that in Britain, they spell it "pyjamas?" Those guys are nuts.
The heroes are at a beach when they meet a dude named Adam. He boasts of being a treasure hunter, and just discovered something underwater. The heroes guess it's like gold or jewels, and here I expected something clever, like he just discovered an ancient map to an ancient pokemon habitat. But nope. It's jewels, they were right on their second guess.
He invites them to his shop, Bounty of the Sea, where he sells stuff he finds in the ocean. Adam's wife inspects the jewels, and tells him that they're just green shards, which are worth more than his usual finds of useless junk like seashells, but still not very valuable. Wait-- Adam lives on an island surrounded by other islands and he sells ocean memorabilia? Everyone else on the island sees the ocean constantly, and tourists are going to be attracted to other shops, so how does he stay in business?
Adam is disappointed, but he hopes the shards are from an old wooden sailing ship named the King Neptune that sunk a century ago, and is rumored to have been carrying priceless treasure. It sank during a storm, but the entire crew made it out alive. Okay, let's go through what's wrong with this story.
- Ships are traditionally female, but this ship is called the "King" Neptune
- A century ago would have been the early 1900s. A ship back then would have had a list of its cargo, so you would know precisely what was on it, and even if it didn't, the crew survived, so its cargo would still be remembered
- Did they even use wooden sailing ships for cargo transport in the early 1900s?
- Back then, the captain traditionally went down with the ship, but Adam specifies that everyone survived
In any case, Adam tells the heroes that he saw a Relicanth near where he thinks the ship is, so he agrees to let the heroes come with him in his submarine. How does a guy who sells seashells and ocean junk afford a submarine? He does it by shutting up.
In the submarine, they quickly locate the Relicanth, but Team Rocket attacks them with missiles. Since Adam is basically a normal guy and he owns a civilian-grade submarine, he of course continues even though if I was attacked by missiles owned by the mafia, I would probably turn back unless something major was on the line, and don't you think you'd be braver than that.
Eventually, Team Rocket is defeated and the heroes follow Relicanth to an underwater cave where they find the King Neptune, in which live dozens of Relicanth. Adam goes into the ship and tells the heroes to guard the submarine even though nothing could possibly come after the submarine. In approximately one minute of searching the large, dilapidated ship that should by all rights be a death trap the moment you enter it, Adam locates a treasure chest, but Team Rocket shows up again and steals the chest, escapes, and destroys the only exit. The Relicanth show the heroes another way, and they eventually catch up to Team Rocket at a beach. Pikachuthunderblastingoffaaaagaaaiin.
Adam opens the treasure chest only to find it has nothing but hundreds of green shards. His wife tells him that they can turn the shards into jewelry, so it all works out, even though you would think that if this ship is as legendary as he claimed, the green shards would still be valuable. Pieces of Eight weren't that valuable back when they were made, but they're certainly valuable now, and these shards are from a legendary sunken ship!
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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005