The Scuffle of Legends
"It just didn't seem right to take it from behind."
Score:4/10
You heard it, folks. James has no problem with crossdressing, but actual sodomy is where he draws the line.
Archie is told that Kyogre escaped into the sea, and he announces that he planned for this. I was going to complain about this, since there is no way he could have planned for this, but I'll accept it, because later events show he's completely insane. He goes onto a hovercraft and floats above the island, commanding Kyogre to destroy the island for the sheer hell of it. Maxie points out that his own people are on the island, but he ignores it on the grounds of the Idiotic Villain Clause.
Lance explains to Maxie that the orbs were created by an ancient civilization of evil people who went around doing stupid things like creating magic orbs that can destroy the world, and further explains that as the orb commands the pokemon to do evil things, it also turns the user more evil, which makes the pokemon even more evil, etc. Why is it there were no sane ancient civilizations? No ancient civilizations that didn't create time travel devices or world-shattering orbs of pure evil, just crazy civilizations of dumbasses? Anyway, this speech turns Maxie into a hero, but don't worry, he'll proceed to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the episode.
As Kyogre summons a thunderstorm at Archie's command, Ash escapes the helicopter, and the heroes and Pikachu find the Team Aqua submarine. Pikachu frees Groudon as Lance attacks Kyogre (not the comparatively undefended Archie, but literally attacks Kyogre), which causes the red orb to enter Archie's body like the blue orb did Pikachu's. Groudon then dispels the storm Kyogre created, and you have to admit, even though that makes sense (it has the ability drought), the storm was way more dramatic than a slightly cloudy day.
Lance figures it all out: Groudon wants to help the humans, so it communicated with Pikachu via the blue orb to free it, and that's why Pikachu kept freaking out earlier. He comes up with a plan: Gyarados, Brock, May, and Max distract Archie while Groudon attacks Kyogre with a cheap shot. Lance and Ash will do nothing (seriously).
The two pokemon start fighting, so Beautifly and Mudkip attack Archie, distracting Kyogre for long enough for Groudon to attack. The orbs exit Archie and Pikachu, and Kyogre and Groudon, no longer controlled, part peacefully, and Archie claims to have amnesia of the past few events. The orbs then fly into the sky and shatter, Lance claiming that the legendary pokemon destroyed them, even though neither of them possess the ability to make orbs hover into the air and explode.
We had two seasons of build-up of Team Aqua and Team Magma, two seasons, and it's all wrapped up in a two part episode. Pretty weak.
Pretty weak.
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Started: July 6, 2005