"Such a colossal waste, opting for money over the gift of exceptional pokemon."
"Exceptional pokemon don't pay the bills!"
Score: 5/10
Ash begins the episode by announcing that he'll soon earn his eighth badge, even though this will actually be his twenty-eighth badge. Once they reach Sootopolis City, they see some fireworks and go to investigate: Juan is putting up a water show for the city, showing off pretty much every single water pokemon in Hoenn.
Team Rocket attacks with yet another electrical net, but Juan is so good that it doesn't matter, and he blasts them off easily. You ever wonder what normal people think when Team Rocket blasts off? "Oh Jesus Christ, those guys were crooks, but Juan just knocked them thousands of feet into the sky and they're going to hit the Earth dozens of miles away, Jesus Christ, I didn't like those people either but Juan just killed them!" And then Max just laughs at them like some sociopathic little child.
Juan agrees to Ash's challenge and takes them on his ridiculously luxurious boat to his gym, recounting how he used to be pokemon contest champion, and tells the heroes that his philosophy is that you should have art in all of your actions, which is probably why he's sacrificed his peripheral vision in favor of a popped collar up to his eyes.
They eventually reach the gym, and the judge (who looks suspiciously like Revolver Ocelot) explains the rules: use two pokemon in a double battle, and then use your remaining three pokemon one-on-one each. May is confused by all of the rules and realizes that this is why Sootopolis is the "last gym." Wait, you do need to challenge gyms in a specific order? Since when? Gary challenged the Viridian Gym when he didn't have badges from same gyms as Ash, I-- oh screw it, I'm looking for continuity where there is none.
Juan leads with Sealeo and Seaking, so Ash sends out Pikachu and Torkoal. No, but you believed it, didn't you? It wouldn't be out of character at all for him to idiotically use Torkoal in a water gym. No, okay, fine, he uses Pikachu and Snorunt. Seaking can disperse electrical attacks with its horn, and Sealeo counters with blizzard. What does Ash do? He has Snorunt use icy wind to freeze the blizzard. I don't even know what that means, but they explicitly say that. Sadly, Snorunt gets knocked out easily, but Pikachu is still up.
Cut to Team Rocket. James is dressed up like Juan, declaring himself "fabulous," and yes, that is his exact word.
Ash sends out Corphish, and basically through muscling through Juan's attacks, knocks out both of Juan's pokemon. They then send out Luvdisc and Grovyle. The episode ends with a cliffhanger as Grovyle is hit by a sweet kiss, the least threatening attack name ever. I'm serious, being hit by a "fluffy bunny doll" attack would be more threatening because at least that could kind of hurt if was thrown hard enough.
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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005