In the loving memory of her run in the Save My Random Character contest...
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''What's that smell? It's coffee. It's usually masked by the smell of fear.''
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"You know, for me trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them but they just keep coming. Sue Sylvester has hourly flair ups of burning itchy highly contagious talent."
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"I'll often yell at homeless people: 'Hey, how is that homelessness working out for you? Try not being homeless for once."
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"Will, I made a small diaper for your chin, because it looks like a baby's ass"
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"Oh hey there, William, I thought I'd smell cookies wafting from the ovens of your little elves that live in your hair"
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Sue: "Iron tablet? It keeps your strength up when you menstruate."
Will: "I don't menstruate."
Sue: "Neither do I."
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"I have to be honest, Will. I'm having a really difficult time hearing anything you have to say today because your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist animated Disney character to pop up and start singing songs about living on the bayou."
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Will: "I should shake your hand."
Sue: "Not unless you got some hand sanitizer. I've seen that car you drive. I don't want to catch poor."
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''So you like show tunes. It doesn't mean you're gay. It just means you're awful.''
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''I will no longer be carrying around photo ID. Know why? People should know who I am.'
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''You think this was hard? Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told they're going in another direction. That was hard.''
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''I'm all about empowerment. I empower my Cheerios to live in a state of constant fear by creating an environment of irrational, random terror.''
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''I can't stand the sight of kids getting emotional, unless it's from physical exhaustion.''
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"Sometimes people ask me, "Sue, how come you're so sensitive to minorities?" Well, I'll tell you why. Because I know firsthand how hard it is to struggle as a minority in America today. I'm 1/16th Comanche Indian. In fact, I like minorities so much, I'm thinking of moving to California to become one. ''
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''I, for one, think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once, and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling.''
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''...I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your house...and punch you in the face.''
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Sue Sylvester: "Alright everybody listen up. When you hear your name called, cross over to my side of this black shiny thing"
Will Schuester: "That's called a piano, Sue"
Sue Sylvester: "Santana, Wheels, Gay Kid. Come on, move it! Asian, Other Asian, Aretha, and Shaft. "
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Oh, I am one yet many.