[to Brittany and Santana]: "Hello, Tweedle Stupid, Tweedle Fake Boobs."
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“I’m reasonably confident you will be adding revenge to the long list of things you’re no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club, and finding a hair style that doesn’t make you look like a lesbian. Love ya like a sister.”
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“I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go to college? I don’t know. I don’t care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers and gardeners.”
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“Every time I try to destroy that club, it comes back stronger than some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain.”
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“I got a satellite interview. That’s lingo for an interview, via satellite.”
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"That was the most offensive thing I've seen in twenty years of teaching. And that includes an elementary school production of Hair."
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"You don't deserve the power of Madonna. Simply put, you have all the sexuality of all those pandas down at the zoo who refuse to mate."
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Will Schuester: Okay look Sue. If you're back let's bury the hatchet.
Sue Sylvester: I won't be burying any hatchets William unless I happen to get a clear shot to your groin. You humiliated me.
Will Schuester: You did this to yourself Sue. All I did was enjoy watching it happen.
Sue Sylvester: Yeah, well enjoy this William. Now that I'm back and my position is secured I will not stop until you're fired and your little Glee Club is annihilated into oblivion.
Will Schuester: Bring it.
Sue Sylvester: Oh I will bring it, William. You know what else I'm gonna to bring? I'm gonna bring some Asian cookery to wipe your head with. Cause right now you've got enough product in your hair to season a wok.
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"You think this is hard? Try being waterboarded, *that's* hard!"
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"You think this is hard? I'm living with Hepatitis, *that's* hard!"
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Principal Figgins: Sue, the directors both from the Jane Adams Academy and Haverbrook School for the Deaf have informed me you gave them the New Directions set list.
Sue Sylvester: You have no proof.
Principal Figgins: The set lists were on Cheerios letterhead.
Sue Sylvester: I didn't do it.
Principal Figgins: They say "From the Desk of Sue Sylvester'.
Sue Sylvester: Circumstantial evidence.
Principal Figgins: They're written in your handwriting.
Sue Sylvester: Forgeries.
Principal Figgins: Sue there is an orgy of evidence stacked against you!
--
Oh, I am one yet many.