Rules for this year is 2 minutes between entrance, and thrown with both feet on floor. Are self-eliminations valid?
Royal Rumble
1 is Jeff Hardy, and 2 is Bull Buchanan. Jeff with a couple close calls as he tries moves in the corner, but of course he stays in for now.
Hey, number 3 in is Matt Hardy. Some double teaming and Bull is number 1 gone. Now the Hardys are going against each other.
Number 4 in is Faarooq, he knocks down both Hardys. Whoops Jeff botches a leap. Almost a dominator on Matt but Jeff saves him. Twist of fate and a swanton bomb. Faarooq is number 2 out. Shirts come off.
Number 5 in is Drew Carey. He slowly gets in the ring while both Hardys are fighting on the apron. They both eliminate each other as Matt is 3rd out and Jeff is 4th.
Number 6 out is Kane, this surely was not 2 minutes. Drew wants to give Kane money. Chokeslam coming, Raven saves Drew as Raven is 7th in. And Drew Carey eliminates himself to be 5th out.
Al Snow runs out to fight Raven, he's not in the Rumble yet! Raven's got a bunch of foreign objects in the ring to fight Kane. And here's the next person, oh, it's Al Snow and now he's the 8th person in.
Bowling ball rolled between Raven's legs, there is garbage all over the ring thanks to Raven and Snow. Kane gets hit with a garbage can 6 times, then drop toe hold onto another.
Number 9 in is Perry Saturn, things are getting hardcore in the ring now. He's going after Kane's legs, Kane is fighting off all three now. Now they've got Kane down.
10 in is Steve Blackman, oh man. He's got sticks, Raven is down, Snow is down, Saturn is down. Kane's still wrecking everyone, but nobody eliminating.
11 in is Grandmaster Sexay, he's got new music, boo. Kane's got a trash can and hitting everyone, he knocks Grandmaster out, that's number 6 out. And Blackman skins the cat but is number 7 out. Snow is 8th out, Raven is 9th out.
Kane throws out Saturn as number 10 out and he's all alone. 12th guy coming in now is Honky Tonk Man. Greatest intercontinental champ of all time. He wants to sing, Kane grabs the guitar and knocks out Honky. And Honky is the 11th man gone.
13 in is The Rock! "ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY!" And 14 in is Goodfather. Rock gives him smackdown and Goodfather is already gone, the 12th out.
Rock's down from a sidewalk slam, here comes Tazz at number 15. He runs right into Kane and Tazz is 13th gone. Rock and Kane still trying to toss each other out.
Number 16 in is Bradshaw! He's double teaming Kane with Rock, now he gives Rock a stiff clothesline. Spinebuster on Bradshaw, but Kane takes down Rock too.
17th in is Albert. Bradshaw and Rock both hanging on for their lives, both hang on. Big boot from Bradshaw.
Number 18 in is Hardcore Holly. Albert gives Bradshaw a power bomb. He now gives Kane a big boot and a scissor kick, not many can kick the big red man in the face.
19 in is K Kwik, ring is filling up. Holly and Kwik both get bodyslammed in the middle of the ring.
20th in is Val Venis. And these were the least action filled 2 minutes.
21 is William Regal. Val keeps getting spinebustered.
22 in is Test, he runs in to help Albert, and Regal is 14th out. Oh wait, Test and Albert are former partners? They're going after each other now. Wonder who turned on who or what.
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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...