Unforgiven 2001
This immediately kicks off with America the Beautiful. This isn't wrestling, time to skip ahead.
Well that was 4+ minutes of filler. Gotta get that crowd pro-Angle or something. Oh god these main events are all rematches.
Why is the logo a giant CG Austin head
Big Show is the only one who finds odder tag team partners than Kane.
Hardy Boyz vs. The Hurricane & Lance Storm vs. Big Show & Spike Dudley vs. Dudley Boyz
Dudleys get jumped by the WWF guys. Hurricane poses after every move, what a gimmick. Jeff's wearing a hat, Bubba pulls it off.
Spike wants to fight Hurricane for some reason, instead he's getting squashed by all the Alliance guys. Hurricane has a cape! He's getting more cheers than most Alliance guys.
Big Show gets hot tagged in, this match being unofficially four on four is so obvious. Hardys and Spike splash all the heels. Fans want Big Show to leap out of the ring too, not gonna happen. Hurricane wants to chokeslam him! But Storm is chokeslammed, he's pinned.
Matt gets in and twists of fate Spike, he and Big Show are gone.
Fans are chanting they want tables. Jeff is stuck in the ring for days. Hot tag to Matt, he moonsaults to outside the ring. Twist of fate is stopped with a 3D. Swanton breaks the count. Bubba gets his team the win.
Stephanie wants to wish RVD luck. Her arms got huge, in addition to other body parts. The hell was the point of this segment.
Kurt Angle's family is here, they aren't good at interviews.
Oh no Moppy went through a woodchipper.
Raven vs. Perry Saturn
Saturn hits a springboard dropkick and they head outside. Terri distracts so Raven can drop toe hold Saturn into the stairs. There's an "I miss Droz" sign in the crowd.
Raven telegraphs the hell out of a sunset flip. Now Saturn hits another springboard move. Is Saturn bleeding near his eye?
Saturn reverses a cover into... something. Ref forgets to count a cover too. He decides to do a catapult I guess, and then he does the moss covered three handled family credunza to win.
Christian wants the intercontinental title from his brother. Man what is this theme song he has. Oh no, Edge has a new theme song too and it's not as good.
Christian vs. Edge
They brawl out to the entrance and Christian get slingshot into the entryway. Christian uses some heel trickery to turn things in his advantage. Lots of hair pulling, now lots of chops. WOOOOO.
Edge has a cut under his eye, wonder how he got that one. Double flying crossbodies leave them both down.
Over the top rope goes Edge, he goes under the ring for some reason. He comes out the other side to surprise Christian but only does a crossbody. Christian hits a spear, two count though. Christian grabs some chairs but gets tripped.
Now Edge wants to use a chair, the ref pulls away the chair. Christian uses the chair for a shot and the ref doesn't see it, Christian wins the IC title. Christian's got a bloody nose or upper lip or something.
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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...