LogFAQs > #888816290

I don't wish what I'm feeling on anybody. Not even my enemies. To truly think about your life and still wish that you had died in that wreck is the most horrible lonely feeling. I'm not suicidal or anything of that nature, I wouldn't hurt myself. I've just given up. I can't understand what I'm waking up for. I don't know if it's possible to die from a broken heart, but I feel like I'm at the end of my life. (Again NOT from suicide or anything like that.) I feel like the days are getting darker, not brighter... and that would make me sad, except my body has seemingly maxed out on sadness with the loss of my wife. Like throwing a cup of water on the ocean. I feel more like I've accepted my OWN death, as if I had a terminal illness, and I was just waiting patiently at this point. Like the quote inside the movie Blow "I thought you couldn't live without your heart?" I don't think I can. I don't even think I want to. Being happy is not a goal of mine. Partly because I no longer have goals. If anything happens to me, just know that I love all of you guys, even the ones I used to butt heads with, and everything you guys have said means the world to me. I read every single post multiple times.