I dont even want to know what this game is actually like, it cant be better than my imagined Contra clone.
You are correct. In fact, it's worse than most things. It's a nsfw dungeon crawler from the mid-90s on pc-98 that uses a card-based battle system like a ton of mediocre rpgs did back then. This was a boss battle theme of sorts, and it was my backup vgmc pick for howling of the birds. Digital Beast is the evil organisation in it.
Does the game feature actual birds though?
No, Black Bird is the resistance group the protag is a part of. Which I guess makes this kind of like Contra after all.