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Topic	My manager keeps misgendering one of my coworkers
joe40001 11/16/19 5:43:36 PM #150:	Anteaterking posted... joe40001 posted... Sir Will posted... joe40001 posted... Hmm. So obviously people/bosses should be kind and respectful to their employees. Though I could see the argument being made that "if somebody doesn't believe people can actually change their gender, should they be legally forced to change their mind on it?" If the boss just was honest and said "look, I personally don't think you are actually a male and that's why I say 'she'" would that make them an evil bigot? Kinda. Especially if, yeah, one is still being a dick and using the wrong pronouns. Also, requiring people to use the proper pronoun would not be 'forcing them to change their mind on it'. Let's push the hypothetical to extremes. Let's say somebody prefers to be addressed as Doctor, even though they aren't a doctor and never got a PhD. Are you being a dick if you refuse to do that? The difference between the two is that one is an earned title (Dr.) and the other is part of someone's identity (and don't waste my time with "Someone's identity could be based on them having a PhD". I have a PhD and that's not an inherent aspect of a person). Like it would be weird for your assistant manager to insist on using your birth name when you've gone by your middle name your whole life because that's part of your identity and the only reason for them to refuse to do so would be some weird interpersonal thing. I acknowledge this. There are 2 parts to the boss's actions and this question one only addresses 1 component. That doesn't mean it's a bad question because it is not meant to imply these scenarios are equivalent. I'll restate some of what I said before: The issue is there is somebody chronically misgendering somebody and it seems to be causing that person distress so I want to break apart the certain elements, there seem to be 2 elements involved in my estimation: 1. A person not believing just because you identify as a gender you are that gender. (This is not being discussed in the hypothetical) 2. The question of if a person is a dick if they refuse to say something they believe to be untrue, if not saying it distresses somebody. For us to have a full discussion we have to tease apart both of those questions, so that's what this hypothetical question is meant to address, element 2, and it addresses it in a scenario where nobody would disagree that the non-doctor is a doctor. --- "joe is attractive and quite the brilliant poster" - Seiichi Omori https://imgur.com/TheGsZ9 <cite>joe40001 posted [p:930233533] in My manager... [t:78162637]...</cite> <quote>Anteaterking posted...</cite> <quote>joe40001 posted...</cite> <quote>Sir Will posted...</cite> <quote>joe40001 posted...</cite> <quote>Hmm. So obviously people/bosses should be kind and respectful to their employees. Though I could see the argument being made that "if somebody doesn't believe people can actually change their gender, should they be legally forced to change their mind on it?" If the boss just was honest and said "look, I personally don't think you are actually a male and that's why I say 'she'" would that make them an evil bigot?</quote> Kinda. Especially if, yeah, one is still being a dick and using the wrong pronouns. Also, requiring people to use the proper pronoun would not be 'forcing them to change their mind on it'.</quote> Let's push the hypothetical to extremes. Let's say somebody prefers to be addressed as Doctor, even though they aren't a doctor and never got a PhD. Are you being a dick if you refuse to do that?</quote> The difference between the two is that one is an earned title (Dr.) and the other is part of someone's identity (and don't waste my time with "Someone's identity could be based on them having a PhD". I have a PhD and that's not an inherent aspect of a person). Like it would be weird for your assistant manager to insist on using your birth name when you've gone by your middle name your whole life because that's part of your identity and the only reason for them to refuse to do so would be some weird interpersonal thing.</quote> I acknowledge this. There are 2 parts to the boss's actions and this question one only addresses 1 component. That doesn't mean it's a bad question because it is not meant to imply these scenarios are equivalent. I'll restate some of what I said before: The issue is there is somebody chronically misgendering somebody and it seems to be causing that person distress so I want to break apart the certain elements, there seem to be 2 elements involved in my estimation: 1. A person not believing just because you identify as a gender you are that gender. (This is not being discussed in the hypothetical) 2. The question of if a person is a dick if they refuse to say something they believe to be untrue, if not saying it distresses somebody. For us to have a full discussion we have to tease apart both of those questions, so that's what this hypothetical question is meant to address, element 2, and it addresses it in a scenario where nobody would disagree that the non-doctor is a doctor. --- "joe is attractive and quite the brilliant poster" - Seiichi Omori https://imgur.com/TheGsZ9</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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