LogFAQs > #941786692

When I was 28 (IIRC) I went on a date with a just-turned 19 year old.

I remember a few things. Yes, she was very beautiful, which is why I agreed to the date. But mostly, I did not feel like I was talking to an equal in the important regards.

I remember feeling slightly peckish and just deciding to order some fries for the table. What struck me about this was how impressed she was about it. It was a thing to her. Me ordering some grazing food was to her some unusual and impressive display of wealth that was worth pointing out. Boys her age wouldn't just go and do that, she said.

We talked more and I realised that she had basically just got straight out of high school, and everything about this situation was foreign to her. She hadn't been to university yet. Her stories were stories from high school.

The entire thing made me feel very uncomfortable. She was far too impressed by very normal things, and it displayed a great deal of inexperience. At some point I became aware that all my go-to flirting on a date moves were basically sure to work, because she had no other point of reference. Like I could just decide if I wanted to bang her and she would fall for anything I said.

I felt like I was just grooming her. And this is just how I felt speaking to her in a bar! I can't imagine actually dating someone in an ongoing way in this scenario.

So ultimately, the number is arbitrary. What is important is power and experience. I felt I had too much power and experience in that situation, to the point that I could consciously or unconsciously manipulate her into the outcome I wanted because her expectations were unrealistic.

(i ended the date and nothing happened, before you ask).

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CE's Resident Scotsman.
https://imgur.com/ILz2ZbV