LogFAQs > #946298942

Cornelius Evazan and Ponda Baba
AKA Walrus Man and ****ed-Up Face Man, AKA the guys who hassle Luke at the bar for no reason. These are flawless-executed lowlife alien scum guys, good for exactly one scene before bowing out of the movie... or so I thought, until I just looked up Cornelius Evazan and learned his official species is human??? I'd always assumed his species just had messed-up faces.

As a storytelling device to display what a lightsaber can do, they do their job efficiently and then exit the movie. They also help display that this is a universe of like lowlife scum losers. All in all, best use of a walrus mask I've ever seen.

Scorpion Darth Vader
I had to google this... I assume this is Sasori Vader? So this is like a random boss in a 1987 NES video game only released in Japan, who's like a shapeshifting scorpion who turns into Darth Vader for Luke to fight? This could very well be the most non-canon thing of all time.

Mandalorians (Group)
AKA the only actual culture in all of Star Wars. Star Trek does alien cultures, Star Wars does alien costumes. But Boba Fett, man, his helmet was just soooooooooo cool that they had to make an entire TV show about people who wear similar helmets. And honestly? It works. The idea of taking in downtrodden children and turning them into a crazy warrior cult obsessed with honor works. Their religion makes sense, their catchphrase makes sense (my friggin' mom quotes it to me), everything about them is exactly what you expect to see in a crazy warrior cult, but in a way that doesn't come across as tired.

Too bad we'll never see a Klingon x Mandalorian crossover.

I am altering the deal, pray I do not alter it any further
Really says it all, doesn't it? The Empire holds all the cards, **** you if you think you can deal with them. It also helps display that Lando is sympathetic, because we learn through this conversation that he genuinely did try to protect at least Leia and Chewbacca. It also helps display that Vader just thinks lowly of this smalltime operation Lando has going on, and just wants to be done with all of this as fast as possible.

I've got a bad feeling about this
Probably the best recurring line in any big franchise? You can slip this into almost any situation and it'll always be completely natural. I've probably quoted this without even meaning to. Compare this to something like Terminator's "I'll be back" or "Come with me if you want to live," where they're always awkwardly shoehorned into the movies every time except the first.

Obi-Wan Series
I doubt this'll ever get made. Wouldn't it be hilarious is, in true Solo and Rogue One fashion, this series goes out of its way to explain every detail we see of Obi-Wan's life in ANH? Like, the laundry detergent he uses to maintain his robes for twenty years, how he builds that hut, why he ages at double human speed.

The idea of an Obi-Wan adventure series is okay, sure. Make it if you want, I don't mind.

Robot Chicken Star Wars Skit
This is basically just a stop-motion variation on the "Things can't get any worse" joke. Fine, I suppose. I've seen better Star Wars humor.

Stormtroopers
Stormtroopers go beyond just being fascist foot soldiers with amazingly cool space helmets. It's the direction. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but all Stormtroopers sans Phasma and Finn have this same way of behaving, even into the Disney movies, where they emote via how they stand, how they cock their heads, and so on.

I love the scenes that are just Stormtroopers standing around having normal boring chitchat, like this giant empire of evil is actually 90% extremely normal people, 9% Gestapo officers, and 1% wacky mysticism. One of my favorite scenes in ANH is when Luke wears the Stormtrooper uniform, an Imperial officer looks at him and signals "why aren't you responding to my radio calls," and Luke points at the helmet like the radio is busted, and the officer just nods and is like "We've got another busted transmitter," like this is just the most normal thing in the universe. Even Luke, a farmboy with no experience doing this sort of thing, just knows that these Imperial guys are boring dudes just doing a job, and will instantly believe there might be a busted piece of equipment.

My point is that the Stormtrooper is a character unto itself. That's something that other franchises with giant evil armies don't get right, they tend to be played as unstoppable forces that the heroes are heroic for defeating because it's difficult. Stormtroopers are consistently portrayed as nine-to-five guys who don't care what's going on, and I really appreciate that level of detail. This is also contrastable against the clone troopers, which no one cares about. One thing changed in the Disney movies that I hate is that the Stormtroopers are now like babies that are stolen by the First Order and indoctrinated from birth? Shut up. I can't imagine how difficult that would be to organize, it'd be way cheaper and easier to just throw propaganda around and hire a bunch of normal people who don't have jobs.


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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005