LogFAQs > #958373451

A: Try to get the attention of the mysterious figure.

Whatever it is outside might be able to help. You flop to the door and start bouncing up and down. Banging your fins against the door now and then to attract attention.

You: "Magikarp! Magikarp! Magikarp! Magikarp! Magikarp! Magikarp! Magikarp! Magikarp!"

The mysterious figure seems to take notice and approaches the Pokecenter. As it enters some light for the first time you're surprised at what you see. You've never seen a pokemon that looks like that before.

???: "Wha... What is... hic... Will you shadapp!"

You hear a loud drunken voice shout as the figure leans against the door. Now in full view you realize it's not a pokemon at all, but a man. A large incredibly muscular yet very bloated figure with an absurd belly. Clearly once in pristine physical condition, but years of alcohol and junk food have taken their toll.

He has dirty unkempt hair and is wearing nothing but a pair of pants. No shoes. And around his waist are several bottles of beer, whiskey, sake and other liquids all tied to his pants with string.

???: "Eh.. hic..What!? What are you looking at? You making fun of me!? Don't you know who I am!?"

The man starts aggressively tugging at the door but it's still locked. It takes him a long time to process this and give up his efforts.

???: "HUUUUUURRRRRRRRYGH!..... HUGERRRRRRRRGH!.... Is it push or pull....HURRRRRRRRAAGHGHGHGH!.... Oh it's locked.... Hic.... What!? You think that just because you have a fancy locked door and I sleep in a dumpster that that makes you better than me! No one is better than me! I'm in the Elite 4!"

You: "Magikarp?"

???: "STOP JUDGING ME! Everybody always judges me! Oh that is it! You're going to pay now! hic... o-o..hic... Onyx! USE .. Erm... Sub...Psy..Bind...er... That thing you do!! HURT IT!"

The figure shrieks as he hurls an object right at the door, hard! It smashes through what once was the door with a tremendous crash, making shards of razor sharp glass pour all over you.

Uhoh! You brace yourself and close your eyes expecting the worst and then...... Nothing happens.... Slowly you open your eyes. Wait... That's not an Onyx! It's not even a pokeball. He just picked up a massive rock and threw it through the door.

???: "Oh yeah.... I hic.. I forgot I traded my Onyx for a bottle of Sake... Wait a minute... You're a fish!"

You: "Magikarp."

Suddely he grabs you through the newfound hole in the door and picks you up, before you had time to react or do anything. He's surprisingly fast for someone so huge. You squirm around but he's expertly tied string around you and attached you to his pants like an absurd belt. You dandle there, in-between a bottle of whiskey and an empty green jar. You're completely restrained and helpless. You can't even reach your pokeballs.

???: "That's dinner sorted, but first.. hic... I'm going down to pub!"

Every step he takes causes one bottle to swing into your face, if not both. The smell of dried urine and beer is overwhelming

You: "Magikarp! Magikarp Magika-"

???: "Shaddup!" he yells as he stuffs a napkin in your mouth. You hope it's a napkin, the alternatives aren't worth thinking about.


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